Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Meh, journalists.



So my brush with pointy death earned me a front page article in the local paper. They have also released footage of the robbery to their website.
http://www.thisisgrimsby.co.uk/cleethorpes/news/Help-police-catch-knifepoint-robber/article-1005962-detail/article.html

Sadly the related article is a little inaccurate, obviously.
Firstly, I'd like to point out that I am not the manager, a title they bestowed upon me twice.
Secondly, I would like to refute this line altogether.
"The male employee was left very traumatised – which is only to be expected after having a knife held to your throat."

Very traumatised my arse. ¬¬ When I finally got home four hours later I cracked open a bottle of rum and posted an article about it on my blog, checked my emails, browsed Youtube. Hardly the actions of someone very traumatised. I can appreciate the fact that they need to whip up public sympathy to encourage grasses to shop him, but still. ¬¬

Anyway, glad I can amuse you all with my knife dodging skills. :P Enjoy.
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9 comments:

  1. Anonymous21 May 2009 at 10:16

    Rather you than me...probably not the most polite thing to say but the CCTV footage of me trying to high jump the counter on my way out probably wouldn't be too flattering!

    Way too much crap to deal with...I hope your boss appreciates ya. And good to see the paper getting active...even if they can't be accurate!
    K

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  2. Charon21 May 2009 at 12:43

    ^^ Oh I dunno. I'd be interested in seeing you high jump a counter. :P

    But yeah. It's things like this that make me think the minimum wage should be raised. Us poor retail staff put up with a lot of shit. It isn't just standing there making a machine go "beep".
    Oh well... to quote the excellent Monty Pyhton...
    "Could be worse. Could be stabbed."
    :D

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  3. Anonymous21 May 2009 at 15:32

    LOL.

    C.

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  4. akiir23 May 2009 at 17:17

    holy crap im glad you wasnt hurt, that looked a little scary though.

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  5. Charon23 May 2009 at 22:34

    :P A little maybe, but come on. A knife is an improvised weapon. That's a -4 attack penalty for non-proficiency and only 1d4 damage. ^^

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  6. Anonymous24 May 2009 at 03:57

    But not if you throw in some rogue levels which adds nasty sneak damage (+1d6/ 2 lvls of rogue). Not to forget +1 skill rank of shoplifting ;)

    Ches.

    P.S: Though your robber didn't looked to skilled if i may add this *shrug* (But that is not a bad thing)

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  7. Charon25 May 2009 at 12:59

    Failed his will save on the way in. :P
    Don't you have to be wielding a weapon in which you have proficiency to be able to sneak attack? :o
    *checks*
    Hmm, the SRD doesn't say so. interesting!

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  8. Anonymous25 May 2009 at 21:55

    'Failed his will save on the way in'

    hahaha :)

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  9. Charon25 May 2009 at 22:34

    He's just lucky I was flatfooted and didn't get an attack of opportunity.

    And other hilarious DnD gags. :P

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