Human Centipede (some thoughts)

This post contains spoilers and disgusting content. Have a strong stomach, don't be eating, and maybe have a quick read about the film's concept. Otherwise, give it a miss.

So I got round to watching The Human Centipede. It's an interesting concept. Mad doctor who specialises in unjoining conjoined twins decides to attempt the reverse and join three people in a human gastric chain via the stitching of anus to mouth.
As a horror movie concept it's a fresh idea, with plenty of gross-out factor and naturally, it leads people to discuss the viability of such things. However, the film does make the mistake of claiming that there's some medical basis for the concept. In fact, I do believe it claims to be 100% medically accurate.

Aha. No.

I'm not buying that. I'm glad the concept was brought to my attention, sure, it gave me a lot to think about. But at the same time, I don't for one second consider it feasible. Yes, the surgical procedure of the stitching method may be accurate. And we also see the 'c' part of the centipede die from blood poisoning. But the concept is inherently flawed.
Firstly, no consideration is given to urination. Mainly due to limits with special effects and to conceal the actors' modesty, they are shown to be wearing bandages around their posterior area. Bandages that are stained with blood, but yet not urine. Now, regardless of how the centipede was fed, urination would still happen along all three segments. A fact seemingly ignored.
Secondly, breathing. Not everyone can breathe solely through their nose, especially for protracted periods of time. I myself would probably pass out within minutes if forced to breathe solely through my nose, for example, if gagged. As I've discussed with Ste before, it's especially a problem for white people, given our badly designed noses with their thin nasal canals.
Thirdly. Congestion in the gastric chain. We know for sure that part A of the centipede does excrete and whilst part B is obviously displeased, I feel this process hasn't been adequately thought out. I don't think we need to go into too much detail, suffice to say that the mouth has a limited capacity and there would be some natural refusal on behalf of part B. And when the mouth is full it overflows into the nasal cavities. In theory, part B would have a high chance of choking and dying at this point.
And finally. Even if mentally part B was willing, physically it would not be so. No doubt the body's initial reaction would be to purge the system via reverse peristalsis (vomiting). And given the restrictive nature of the centipede, this would be impossible and would lead to the same swift death as in my 'thirdly' point. There would simply be nowhere for the vomit to go and as we all know thanks to examples such as Jimi Hendrix... vomiting with no release equals death.

We can only presume the centipede didn't live long enough for parts B and C to begin to suffer the effects of malnutrition, denied as they are of the essential amino acids and proteins that allow humans to continue living.

There may be more flaws. I'm still mulling the concept over. But I feel I've covered the main ones. To summarize, whilst it may be medically possible to stitch people together into a human centipede, the resultant organism would have an extremely limited lifespan with part B no doubt being the first to die.

Dieter Laser was a fantastic bad guy though. Very scary. :) It did also seem odd to me that of the two cops, detective Voller had no lines of dialogue whatsoever. He doesn't speak a single word. I did a quick google search on the word voller which it tells me means 'full'. :s So no significance there. It definitely distracted me though. Very odd.