Censorship. It's a funny old world.

Aren't you glad you don't live in Australia? I mean really, aren't you so very glad?
Why?
Because the Australian government are getting really picky about video games. More picky than the Germans now, it seems.

And what better example than the game I'm currently loving, Left 4 Dead 2. Sequel to simply the best zombie killing game ever.

Now, what makes a zombie game fun, people? Let's face it, there are very simple core elements.

1. Dark dingy scary atmosphere.
2. Shitloads and shitloads of zombies.
3. Gore. Blood, guts and decapitated bodies. W00t!

So when Left 4 Dead 2 came and ramped up the gore way past the first game and introduced such droolworthy melee weapons as the katana and the chainsaw people were rightly excited!

Except the poor Australians. :(

See, their government had a different take on this. They're not so keen on decapitation or dismemberment. They had to have the riot cop zombie removed because it alludes violence against authority figures...
(The riot cop OBVIOUSLY is there for one reason only. Riot gear = bullet proof. It's a simple gameplay mechanic. Valve aren't trying to make Australians go out and beat up cops.)
They even removed the chainsaw scene from the opening movie. Oh and nearly all the blood is gone. And amusingly, with no decapitations, it's much harder to tell if you landed the headshot or not. :D Oh and bodies vanish instantly. Not like the rest of the world who after a near fatal massacre can look down at the heaps of zombie corpses and say "Wow, will you look at how many of those we killed."

I mean, I'm all for limits. I know it's unrealistic that games have no child zombies, but of course, we don't want to be training child killers. Most countries have a ban on violence to children in games. But the Australian version of left 4 dead just isn't the same game.

Here comes the comparisons.

Firstly, the opening movie. I suggest you watch these in fullscreen high quality.
In this, the upper half is the actual intro. The lower half is the modified Australian version. Pay particular attention when Ellis gets the smoker tongue wrapped around him in the elevator and Coach pulls out the chainsaw.


Yes, that's right. A good few seconds of literally cutting through air. O_O I mean whut?

And that's just the intro. What about the game itself?


Just that opening part worries me. It just doesn't seem as frantic. Part of the fun of this game is being overwhelmed and watching your finely honed teamwork dissolve into mindless chaos, grown men sobbing into their mics as the tank tears their limbs off and yay, even emerging the last man alive, drenched in blood, standing amid a heap of zombie bodies the size of a small mountain. And knowing that's just the first level.

It's a fun game and without a doubt the biggest fun aspect is the teamwork. Planning cooly and casually one minute, screaming for help the next. It's a social thing. But the other part is definitely the gore. It's what zombies are about. If I wanted to kill people without blood and guts there's plenty of other first person shooter games. I like the attention to detail. The machete slashes zombies chests open, heads off, limbs off, depending where you aim. Shoot a zombie in the guts and its entrails fall out. It even adds to the social. "Did you see that? I slashed both his legs off!"

And ultimately, what point does the censorship really have. The players are still performing the same actions at the end of the day. Well, except the Australians don't have the extra challenge of the bulletproof zombie to contend with. But what do the Australian government hope to gain by this act of extreme censorship. Has this act successfully lowered the rate of chainsaw murders? Have fewer riot cops been smacked about with a frying pan then shot in the back? (Oh yes, that is actually my usual tactic >_< )
I took the liberty of doing a little research. Since releasing the censored version of Left 4 Dead, absolutely no real life zombies have been killed in Australia! Hurrah! Success!

Of course, when the real zombie apocalypse comes, we know which country will be woefully underprepared. I get the feeling they'll be the first to fall. :P

The point I'm trying to get across in all this?

I hate unnecessary censorship more than regular censorship. :(