If Jesus returned...

Would he be a young girl? What if Boxxy... was Jesus? I'll link to the Boxxy vids at the end for those who live in a cave and have no idea who she is/was. But let me present my theory.

A long time ago a man existed. A man named Jesus. Whether you identify this man as the son of an almighty being or simply as a prophet is irrelevant. Jesus did some amazing things. Jesus said some amazing things. He inspired millions of people to follow him and millions more to hate him. And when he died, he said he would return.

Fast forward to our modern age around 2007/2008 when a video appeared, made by a young girl. For a whole year, no one took any notice except for maybe the friend the video was made for until one day, 27th December 2008, someone posted a link to the video on www.i-am-bored.com. A curious date, considering this piece of information regarding a visitation from Jesus.

"On December 27, probably 1673, the feast of St. John, Margaret Mary reported that Jesus permitted her, as He had formerly allowed St. Gertrude, to rest her head upon His Heart, and then disclosed to her the wonders of His love, telling her that He desired to make them known to all mankind and to diffuse the treasures of His goodness, and that He had chosen her for this work."

From here the video finally made its journey to the heartland of the internet, 4chan's /b/ board and the Boxxy phenomenon exploded. Her ADHD ticcing, unusual voice patterns and bizarre heavily eyelinered cuteness captured the minds of Anonymous. To some she was the epitome of virtue, a being of pure innocence, joy and goodness. They crowned her their Queen and some still claim to hear her voice in their dreams. Nothing she said made sense and yet to those followers, it made perfect sense. Like Jesus before her Boxxy had captured their hearts. Her words enthralled them and enraged others. Her very existence caused the biggest civil war the Digital Age has ever seen. The mighty united force of Anonymous was fractured by her presence. Two more Boxxy videos were found and this schism grew until, on January 10th 2009 the fighting reached breaking point. The Boxxy haters, fed up of endless threads about the new Queen attacked their own website, their haven, their sanctuary, bringing it crashing offline for nearly four hours. With nothing more than a handful of nonsensical words Boxxy had brought down one of the internet's most popular websites inhabited by the all powerful Anonymous. Anonymous has a reputation of being able to find anything, anyone, anywhere and a full scale search to find Boxxy was launched. It's now April 6th 2010 and Boxxy still hasn't been found. No more videos ever came. But Anonymous does not forget. People on both sides still search and Boxxy's followers still fervently believe that one day our Queen will return. The war still rages on in her name. Just the mention of the word Boxxy on /b/ causes an instant rush of "Awwwww" and "Fuuuuu!".

To my mind, this is exactly the kind of reaction I would expect if Jesus were to return. A sudden appearance and disappearance. Instant love or hate caused by nothing more than a speech. And a war. An ongoing legacy. And the neverending hope in his followers that one day he would return.

Is Boxxy just a girl? Out there somewhere, getting on with her life, somehow avoiding every attempt to find her?
Or did we bear witness to the seemingly impossible? The resurrection of a prophet? The visitation of a soul reincarnated in a completely different body?

We may never know. All we can say for sure is that she was Boxxy. Our Queen. And live in hope that one day, she may return.

Did you miss the whole Boxxy thing? Left confused as to what could have caused all this? The war has had casualties and Boxxy's videos have been removed from Youtube twice due to 'copyright claims'. But they will always return.

The original video.


The second. Where she actually mentions 4chan.


The third. Where she claims not to have ADD. And spawns the images of "You's trollin'", "I am Boxxy you see!" and "I c what u did thar." She mentions the rising attention from 4chan and her disappearance from Gaia. What was it she wouldn't tell us because it would ruin the mystique? And then she vanished...


Bye Boxxy. :'(

And the obligatory remix.


Feel the love. I'm going to go cry somewhere like a sad emo. ¬¬

Back. To add in one more comment based on the remix.
"All over the place, like I am right now."
Omniprescence. Boxxy is everywhere and she loves you all without compromise. Look into her eyes as she says it. And believe!