Bitemarks - Epilogue

Bitemarks - Epilogue

Ed pulled over his car at the side of the road and got out. This was it. This was the address. The house was pretty nondescript. A semi-detached property in a reasonably quiet leafy street. A far cry from his own urban terraced pad. He climbed out of the car and pushed open the gate but before he could approach the door it opened. And there she stood. The first time he'd ever seen Katia outside of work. He didn't know what he expected but it sure wasn't slashed blue denim jeans and a Poleaxe T-shirt. Sure they were going to see the band perform but still it took him by surprise.
"You're late." she said, cocking her head to one side as if awaiting an excuse.
"My satnav is useless." he said, and it was. "Thanks, you know, for coming with me. Only Tony said if I went alone he was going to announce on stage that I was gay and single..."
She laughed at that.
"That's ok. I'm a big fan after all. How could I resist backstage tickets?"
"I didn't even think you liked metal."
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Ed. You should learn to ask questions."
"Such as?"
"Such as whether their current drummer was anywhere near as good as their original one."
She poked her tongue out at his lack of response and made for the car. Ed shook his head and followed her.


--------------------


The gig itself was every bit as phenomenal as he expected. Poleaxe put on one hell of a show, mixing their set up by alternating between material from the new album and their old classics. And as promised they blasted through the New Year's Eve countdown with "Atomic Bomb" finishing to thunderous applause and yelling and screaming from the mass of fans. Ed genuinely enjoyed himself and from the looks of things so too did Katia. And when the gig was over and the fans began to drift out towards the bar to grab 'one for the road' and let their hearing return Ed and Katia made for the backstage area, flashing their passes at the burly security guards. Sure enough Tony was waiting for them.
"Ed! You dirty little fucker. Was that awesome or what?"
He was still wide-eyed, buzzing from the adrenaline and sweating like a pig.
"Yeah." smiled Ed, "Pretty hardcore."
"Like the filthiest German porn." agreed Tony. "And who's this stunning piece lurking behind you? Alright sweetheart?"
He offered a sweaty hand and Katia shook it.
"Katia. Ed and I work together."
"Oh fucking aye. 'Work together' is it?" He leered and winked at Ed, "So you're from that place? What was it again Ed, fucking catering or some shit?"
Katia nodded.
"Worthington catering yeah."
Tony shook his head.
"Such a shame. fucker had so much promise too." he slapped Ed on the back. "Well let's not stand around back here like some old fucking grannies, eh?"
He turned and led them to a function room where the rest of the band were lounging around on battered old sofas and swigging beer. Ed was warmly greeted by his ex bandmates and Tony tossed him a beer from a cooler.
"And for the lady?" asked Tony.
"Beer's fine thanks."
He threw her one, purposely fast but she snatched it from the air regardless.
"Girl's got reflexes." he chuckled, plomping himself down on one of the sofas. "Oy Derek, skin up a phat one for our guests."
Derek groaned.
"Colin can do it man, my hands are killing me."
Colin set to rolling an overly large cannabis joint as the others slurped their beer. Ed took it upon himself to introduce Katia to the other band members.
"Tony, you met. That's Derek, bass guitarist. Colin, vocals. Gary, second guitar. And Tobias, drums."
Tobias nodded.
"Guys keep telling me how good you were, Ed. I gotta admit, you were better than I am."
"Enough of that soppy shit." interrupted Tony, "We wouldn't have you if you weren't at least decent. What did you two fuckers think of the set anyway?"
"You kicked ass." said Katia, "Loved every minute of it. Why did you open with Death Mask though? Bit slow to kick things off. I was expecting maybe Hammerblow or Guns of Fire."
"A true fan." said Tony impressed, "It was that useless cunt, Derek's idea."
"Oy bellend!" shouted Derek, throwing his empty beer can at Tony who ducked, giggling.
"Nah we love him really, silly little fucker. Keeps us amused. So tell us, you two dating or what?"
Ed was about to protest when Katia snuck an arm beneath his.
"He doesn't know it yet, but this was our first date."
"Fucking ay." said Tony, "Guess you're not a queer after all, Ed. Shame, Derek was eyeing you up."
Derek looked around for something to throw at Tony but couldn't find anything so he resorted to a put down.
"Yeah, just you single now, eh Tony?"
"All the better for ease of groupie access." Tony shot back without a pause. He tapped his head twice then pointed a finger at Derek. "Mind like a fucking razor blade, son."
Derek sighed.
"And a mouth like a Romanian hooker." he tried.
Tony laughed, standing up and grabbing his crotch.
"Poosey for sale bayby." he mocked, gyrating.
"Now you see why I left." said Ed. Katia nodded.
"Yeah, they're far too mature for you."
"Oooh zing!" yelled Tony, flopping back down. "I like her Ed. You too should have little chef babies or some shit."
Ed didn't even know what to say.
"Silence says it all." said Tony, making whipcrack motions with his hand and sound effects with his mouth.
Ed sighed.
"You just can't win against him." he said to Katia, "He's got an answer for everything."
"He doesn't even need the fucking questions." said Colin, "Never shuts up for a second."
"Gotta make up for his tiny dick somehow." said Katia.
Tony's mouth opened wide.
"Oh, it's like that is it!"
Ed burst out laughing.
"Think that's the first time I've ever seen him stumped."
Katia squeezed his hand and sank back into the couch.
"We should have done this ages ago..."


---------------------------------

THE END