Pathetic Superheroes

Another one of those silly games Pete and I use to pass the time. Inventing crap superheroes!

Highlights so far.

Permanently Wanking Man

Incredibly Chinese Man

Slightly Jewish Man

Emo-Boy

Mentally Retarded Man

Woman Man

Addicted to Crack Man

Liquidized Man

Smells Like Eggs Man

:D

Feel free to contribute your own.

Just Practicing

Free Radicals

We congregate
The neuro-atypical social misfits
Drawn like magnets to each other
Some north, some south
But all attracted
To the virtual worlds we built for ourselves
There we amass
The many, the legion
The anon if we desire
As hidden or as loud as we wish
This world is ours and it amuses us to watch you explore its many treasures and traps
Only we navigate without the need for maps
And we laugh and toke and prod and poke
'Cos now the joke's on you
The boot is on the other foot
But you've only found the shoe
We make the rules and watch you break them
And suffer when you do

Oh we congregate
We sit and wait
Procrastinate and postulate
Some destroy and some create
(Whilst struggling to concentrate)
We share the wealth and accumulate
Improving on what came before
(Or waste time proving rule 34)
'Cos we all are Kings of this virtual kingdom
We all have our disciples who think us wise
But your soul-stealing eyes will never look upon our greatest works
For these we hide
The world isn't ready

Oh we congregate
Infuriated
By your constant interruptions
You needy attention seeking abominations
We're working on world domination
Pushing you to rely on our creations
Until
In whole
We're the ones in control

We congregate
Behind the scenes
We build our dreams
Beneath the surface tension
Free from manacles of pretension
This world is ours
You're only renting
We might seem angry but we're only venting
We're just happy we own our unreal estate
Where we are free to congregate
It's all we ever really wanted

© Charon 2009

(D- Must do better)

Just an update.

Hoping to find time to squeeze in the next bitesize tomorrow but in case I don't manage it. Tuesday. For definite. :P I've checked over my shifts and for the the next two or three weeks I'm back to my usual shift pattern so Bitesize should be back to regular postings. Hooray!

I'm Batman!

Ok people. It's time for you all to see what will be, without doubt, the greatest game of 2009 if not the greatest game of the 21st century. First off, go get a steam account.
http://store.steampowered.com
Learn to use it.
Search the steam store for Batman. They have a free demo of Batman: Arkham Asylum. It's short, but epicly sweet. Seriously. It's dark, it's fun, it's spooky! Mark Hamill voicing the Joker. My favourite Harley Quinn making an appearance. Freeflow combat system with slow motion takedowns. Ingenious implementation of a grappling system. Ninja-like stealth. Brain-squeezing detectiveness.

This. Is a game like no other. The Joker has taken over Arkham Asylum and Batman is trapped inside. Worse, you cannot kill the bad guys. They are to be restrained and put back in their cells. But they also have hostages! Meaning you need to use your environment to its fullest in order to protect the innocent, and punish the guilty. I'm not kidding, all of you, even the videogame virgins. You need to download and play this demo. It will change the way you view gaming. :P

And more importantly. Remember folks...

I'M BATMAN!

I Smell

People are always quick to name their favourite food, but what's your favourite smell?
Obvious things like the smell of sausages frying leap to mind (piggies are so cute, it's almost a shame that they're made of sausages). But after giving it some serious thought I've settled on coconut. Something about coconut I find soothing and relaxing. I wish more things (other than just coconuts) smelt of coconut. It would make life more pleasant. :P

Kathleen

Kathleen

Those blissful summer days
Her copper hair in tumbling tresses
Lavishing her suitors with
Her kisses and caresses

The frivolity of maidenhood
The joys of adolescence
Cheery, bright and bubbly
Always full of effervescence

Time catches up to all of us
And terminates the race
No discretion for its victims
No release from its embrace

The curves of youth now turn to lumps
Jealousy rends her bitter
Dreaming of those golden times
When skimpy dresses fit her

Now she sits in the shadows
With a bottle of merlot
Watching in the mirror
As the years steal her soul

Time catches up to all of us
And terminates the race
No discretion for its victims
No release from its embrace

She still travels round the globe
Always trying to keep busy
Chasing her youth in circles
'Til the circuits send her dizzy

Then slips slowly into dementia
Drowning in the ocean of her mind
As her memories leave her
Only madness left behind

Time catches up to all of us
And terminates the race
No discretion for its victims
No release from its embrace

© Charon 2009

Bitesize 5.3

Slightly belated. Here we go.

Bitesize 5.3

And so, four hours and one complicated landing at Hakodate airport saw them draw ever closer to their destination. The Concorde caused quite a stir although the Japanese terminal staff knew it was coming there many civilians that didn't but given the choice between conspicuousness and speed it had to be the latter. Alf had even managed to furnish them with the documents rendering Ed's rucksack as a diplomatic bag, allowing them to bypass airport security with their weaponry. With any luck they would be back in England before the snowball from that one started rolling. The final piece to fall into place was their ride to the foot of Mount Hakodate itself. The mountain was heavily wooded and a prime tourist attraction due to the amazing views and many observation platforms. An aerial ropeway took people to the summit in cable-cars but the summit wasn't Ed's destination. Once out of the car, and safely away from prying eyes, he pulled out the tracking device. The device was sophisticated enough to take into account the difference in elevation as well as distance from their target. Max was awake now, but still slightly groggy and Ed made sure to have Grace walk behind him. The trip would be tough going for the little girl but once they were some distance up the mountain she would be fine in wolf form. Looking at the tough trail ahead Ed wished he had that same luxury. He pointed out the direction to the others and they started their ascent.

As they climbed Ed couldn't help but wonder what Crowley was up to. It seemed there were two distinct possibilities with a mountain as relatively small as Hakodateyama was. Either they were still searching for the mirror. Or they had found it and were waiting for something. Ed hoped he wasn't that something. The terrain made the walk tiring although Katia seemed to be coping with it fine. Grace too, now in wolf form, was having little difficulty. Which left just Ed and Max slightly out of breath and feeling under representative of their gender. Despite this the tracker showed them gaining on Raddick's position. Wherever their targets were, they were moving slowly, or not at all.

The group said little as they walked. They all understood the gravitas of the situation and lighthearted banter would have seemed out of place. The only words spoken were Ed's occasional commands to switch direction. When they finally did stop walking it was because Ed wasn't moving, just staring at the tracking device with a confused expression.
"What is it?" Katia asked, coming over to take a look.
"I dunno." Ed shook the tracker futilely. "Maybe we missed them."
"Let me see?"
Katia took the tracker and fiddled with it.
"It says they're lower than we are."
"They must have found the mirror." said Ed, "They're already going back down."
Katia pushed a few more buttons.
"I don't think so. The device is showing that they've barely moved vertically either way since we started climbing the mountain."
"So they're stationary?"
"Didn't Alf show you how to work this?" Katia pushed another series of buttons.
"No, they've definitely moved. And they're not just skirting the mountain. If we plot their movements over the last ten minutes or so..."
Ed waited.
"Well?"
"Ok that doesn't make any sense."
Katia handed him the device back and Ed looked at it.
"INTO the mountain? Into the goddamn mountain?!" Ed kicked a shrub loose from the ground and it rolled off down the incline. "That damn Raddick. I shoulda known. I'll bet we're here chasing his stupid arse while Crowley is off nabbing the next onigawa. Or... ODOLF!"
"Woah, calm down Mr Paranoid." said Katia. "I have my cell phone right here look. If anything was going on, they would have called us. Maybe there's a more mundane explanation. Caves or somesuch? If the onigawa from the legends lived in the mountains then maybe there are cave networks? We should look around first before you go jumping to delusions."
"Conclusions." said Ed.
"If you say so."
She passed the tracker back to Ed.
Ed thought carefully over the options.
"Well if they haven't moved up or down much then the entrance should be somewhere around this elevation. I guess we just circle the mountain until we find it."

Bitesize 5.2

Just before we begin, a couple of things. I have that annoying ten hour split shift on Sunday again so no more Bitesize till Tuesday.
According to a recent book, the average Briton makes love 4239 times in their life. O_O Holy crap! I am so far behind.
And finally... Remember the section in the quiz regarding nominative determinism? Usain Bolt. I'm sure you've heard of him. :) Who does he think he is? The Flash?! Lol. Good work Mr Bolt. You is lightning fast. :P Nominative Determinism in action.

Bitesize 5.2

With time constantly ticking away Ed, Katia, Grace and Max found themselves aboard a private flight for Japan. It had only taken them a couple of hours to hatch their plan, turn Max and prepare a flight, but Crowley's headstart couldn't be ignored. There just wasn't time to waste and rather than risk a commercial flight or even a standard private flight Alf had pulled out all the stops. One of the Bureau's private investors still owned a Concorde and although they had been grounded permanently in 2003 Alf had managed to pull enough strings to manage this one of a kind flight. But even with Concorde's supersonic capabilities it was going to take four hours to reach Hakodate airport and another half hour to drive to the foot of the mountain. Ed was worried, worried they wouldn't be able to catch Crowley. Indeed the only advantage they had was that Crowley had no idea where he was going, whereas Ed had the small electronic device sitting in his left palm, tracking Raddick's position via GPS. The fable of the tortoise and the hare sprung to Ed's mind and he hoped that Crowley would get lost enough to give them chance to catch him up. He reclined back in his seat and looked over at the others. Katia was listening to her mp3 player and he could just catch the tinny sound of over-excited dance music drifting from the headphones. Grace was asleep in her seat, in her human form as was Max although his sleep wasn't natural. A newly turned lycanthrope was pretty unstable and for now he'd been given a temporary sedative. The doctors had assured Ed of two things. That he would be out for the entire trip and that he would be awake shortly after they arrived. Ed didn't fully believe them and had told Grace to keep an eye on him. Any sign of him turning into a wolf and Grace would follow suit. Ed hoped it wouldn't come to that.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't scared. They were about to go up against unknown odds, against a man, by all accounts, capable of anything. They didn't know what Crowley could do and had no way to prepare for it. Raddick at least, they could handle and with any luck Grace was more than a match for Leclair. But that still left Fredericq as a wildcard and Ed had no more tricks up his sleeve. He and Katia were both armed but there was no certainty that it would help them. It wasn't fear like he'd known before either. It wasn't the adrenaline fuelled fight for survival like when he'd captured Dennis in his wolf form. Nor was it the butterfly-stomach feeling of those lifetime events like taking his first driving test or waiting for his university results. It wasn't even the silent anticipation of walking on stage with a drumstick in each arm in front of a couple of thousand people as the drummer for Poleaxe. It was something worse. A looming dread. The feeling of helplessness. That all his planning wouldn't save him from the inevitability of death. Even defeating Crowley at this point wouldn't guarantee their safety. This was a fear that wouldn't stop nagging him every second of that four and a half hour journey. He envied Katia her calm demeanour, lost in the beat of whatever mainstream dance music filled her head, her breathing regular, her eyes half closed. A picture of serenity. Couldn't she feel it? The overwhelming foreboding? Didn't she know this mission could easily be her last?
He shook his head of such thoughts. Now wasn't the time for cold feet. The time had come for Ed to prove himself, as his Dad had done so many years before. This could well be the defining moment of Ed's life, or its swift conclusion. Determination began to mix in with the fear. He wondered idly if Katia meditated. Maybe that was something he could look into if he survived all this. The nervous tension sure didn't do him any favours. He let out a big sigh and settled himself into his seat. For now, all he could do was wait...

Bitesize 5.1

Off we go again. :P

Bitesize 5.1

Ed sat in Max's room. Silence hung in the air, held in a stale cloud of cigarette smoke being added to by Max. The young German took a deep drag and held the smoke in his lungs before letting it jet out in a billowy plume.
"Will it hurt?" he asked.
"Yeah, a little." said Ed, honestly, "But not that much. It's your best shot of fighting off Crowley's mind control."
More silence, more smoking.
"And then when he wakes the demon up I just have to force it to seal the mirrors instead of opening them..."
Ed didn't reply. The question was clearly rhetorical serving only to clarify Max's thoughts.
"And then I'll be trapped in there with them."
"We don't know that for certain." said Ed, "All we have to go off is an old legend. The last Onigawa who did this did so voluntarily and without a human host. I was relying on that for my backup plan."
"So what's the backup plan?"
"Well. If you aren't able to prevent the onigawa opening the mirrors then they will all come through and exist as they did in the past. I'm banking on the fact that they won't need human hosts then. I couldn't help but notice that Raddick knows what his onigawa knows."
Max nodded, following his train of thought.
"I get you. The onigawa will leave me, but I should still know how to seal them away."
"I hope so, yeah. Although that doesn't necessarily mean you'll be able to do it."
"So either way, it's all on me."
"I'm sorry Max."
"Don't be. We brought this on ourselves with our youthful foolishness. We all have to repay our debts one day. What about Odolf? We taking him too?"
Ed shook his head.
"I don't see the point. We don't know what he's capable of. He could be a wildcard against us."
Max stubbed his cigarette out in the ashtray and exhaled deeply, running his hands through his hair.
"Ok, let's do this."


Just a short while later Max found himself in the cage that had previously held Grace. She was there too with him.
"Is the cage necessary?" Max asked.
"Yeah." said Ed, from outside, "You might not be able to control the wolf at first. Hopefully the onigawa will keep it under control but we can't risk it."
"I'd rather not have an audience."
Ed nodded and he and Katia left the room, leaving Grace and Max locked in the cage. Outside Ed tapped into the room's CCTV and watched.
"Are you ready?" Grace asked.
Max nodded in reply then took off his shirt and turned his back on Grace.
"Get it over with."
Behind him Grace began her transformation. He'd seen it a couple of times now but Ed was still shocked at the visual aspect of it. It seemed to defy everything he knew about logic and science. It reminded him of watching movie special effects the way Grace trebled in size in a matter of seconds and the hair and nails sprouting from her as she became less human and more beast. Max kept his back to her the whole time, steeling himself for the inevitable. Once the transformation was complete Grace didn't waste any time. She gripped Max in her claws and sank her teeth into his exposed back. It wasn't an attack, there was no tearing of flesh. Just an agonising scream from Max as Grace held on for a few seconds then released her jaws and let him slip to the floor. She waited, still in wolf form, watching over Max's prone bleeding body. Her teeth had left a circle of puncture wounds around his back and it was through these that her saliva would enter his system and irreversibly alter his DNA. They waited as one. Minutes slipped by before Max eventually stirred and groggily rose to his feet. His face contorted in pain and then seemingly exploded, expanding at once into a lupine snout. The rest of his body followed suit and before long two wolves stood face to face in the cage. Grace was definitely the larger of the two but Max looked wild. He snalred a challenge to Grace and launched himself at her. The T-Alpha batted him aside effortlessly, clanging his head off the bars of the cage. This seemed to stun Max and for a moment he simply stood still, then cowed his head obediently. His animal instincts had led him to recognise Grace's status and there were no more attacks.
"What now?" Katia whispered to Ed.
"We wait for the wolf to leave him." said Ed, "Then we head for Hakodate."

The Wizard's Apprentice

Bitesize back up and running tomorrow I hope. I have more hours this week than last week but they are spread out in a way that should still allow me to keep the project going. :)
For now, here's a poem I writ. :P

The Wizard's Apprentice

The wizard turned to his apprentice
Said, to learn you must observe
Every careful measured motion
Listen well to every word

Because when you're making magic
The most important thing of all
Is not the act of conjuration
But the power to enthrall

The apprentice practiced often
And he always tried his best
But he could never match his master
In terms of power or finesse

So he locked himself away
In solitary meditation
Determined to surpass and
Not just be an imitation

And as the years drifted by
He came to the realisation
That he'd never match his mentor's
Many magnificent creations

And though he practiced for a decade
One day he reached the understanding
That even to come close would be
Fatally demanding

But that didn't stop him trying
With every single breath
To be the greatest wizard
Even if it meant his death

But this story's just a metaphor
A well-penned ink illusion
It's still a work in progress
Many years from its conclusion

And locked in eldritch combat
Our two linguistic mages
Have never even met each other
Outside of these pages

That great wizard's name is Martin
Head and shoulders 'bove the rest
And the apprentice is called Charon
As I'm sure you could have guessed
So I'm inviting you along
As silent witness to my quest
To one day match my hero
And be declared England's best!

© Charon 2009

Nothing to see here.

This is the tail end of that jampacked week I mentioned some time ago. As such I'm afraid I'm going to have to abandon Bitesize (and probably the blog entirely) until Tuesday.
See you soon. ^^

And one from Kilu...

Ok this is funny, but for all the wrong reasons.



Just in case you're confused (it could happen!)...

Rainbows are of course a natural phenomenon caused when light hits water molecules in such a way that the light is 'scattered', some of the photons passing through the water at higher speeds than the others. This skewing causes us to see light at various different wavelengths on the electromagnetic spectrum, in the case of a rainbow, the full spectrum of visible light, from red to violet instead of the usual compound white. Maybe this woman is incredibly stupid, maybe she's just paranoid, but this rainbow is occurring naturally, not by anything in the water, oxygen, no salts, no chemicals in the grass... She's just mental. Using words like 'spectrum' which she clearly doesn't understand. And yes, you could achieve this twenty years ago... if we had sprinklers back then... Hmmm, '89, yeah we probably did.

*facepalm*

Let this be a lesson people. Retards are everywhere and some of them have nothing better to do than film rainbows and post their video on Youtube under the delusion that said rainbow is caused by some government conspiracy. Run. Run while you still can!

EDIT: Oh also. I just noticed she mentions the sun and the moon. FOR GOD'S SAKE! Rainbows do not encircle the sun and moon for one very good reason... THEY REQUIRE WATER! (or at least a fluid that behaves similar to water... methane for example) Does the moon have water? No. Rainbows do of course, encircle the Earth... Well ok, not encircle, but be warned, rainbows are NOT semicicles!! They are in fact, entire circles as witnessed by pilots! (among others)



And they don't just appear in the sky! Here's another like the woman's sprinkler, reflected in the waves of the ocean.

Click that to see the full picture.

And they are not even restricted solely to Earth. Scientists postulate that they may also occur on Saturn's moon, Titan. I'd love to hear that woman's explanation of how the government pulled that off.

DnD Baby

No Bitesize for today. As my only day off this week I need to get all the housework and laundry done so have this instead. This was passed on via DnDGamer.com by Mithral Dragon. It's a song, about DnD, which I play, remember? :P

Bitesize 4.9

Suppose you'll be wanting a bitesize then? :P

Bitesize 4.9

Whatever Max's plan might have been it went unsaid as at that moment there was a sharp rap at the door and Alf swiftly entered.
"Sorry to interrupt. Ed, I need you in the briefing room right away."
"Hold that thought." said Ed to Max, "I'll be back."
With a curious glance at Alf he followed him upstairs to the briefing rooms.
"What's going on Alf? You seem excited." he asked once they sat down in the privacy of Briefing Room 1.
"It's the tracker."
"The one we put in Raddick?"
Alf nodded.
"Exactly. It came online just a few minutes ago."
"So where is he?"
"Hakodate."
"Japan?"
"That's right. Hokkaido, Japan."
"You think he's found another onigawa?"
"We don't know." Alf sighed, "As far as we know there were no Japanese POWs with Odolf's group. And then there's the fact that he's out of the mirrors."
"Which means he's going somewhere with no mirrors..." said Ed thoughtfully.
There was a lengthy silence as the two men thought heavily upon the subject.
"Are there any sparsely populated geographical features near Hakodate?" Ed asked finally.
"Mount Hakodate?" Alf suggested.
Ed stroked his chin.
"Mount Hakodate... Hold on a sec..."
Ed got up and left the briefing room and collared a passing woman.
"I need a laptop. It's an emergency."
"Sure, come with me."
She led him off to a nearby conferencing room and passed him one of several laptops. Ed thanked her and headed back to briefing room one. Once inside he powered up the laptop and connected to his email. The message he'd received from Coeus was still in his inbox and Ed read it over carefully. He sighed and passed the laptop to Alf and waited for him to read it.
"Coeus?" Alf asked.
"Some minor Greek god." said Ed, "Knowledge or information or somesuch."
"Well it does mention mountains..."
"Yeah, and I'm wondering if the settlement was at the foot of mount Hakodate."
"Why?"
"Because that might explain why Raddick is there. If we assume that the Onigawa lived on mount Hakodate then they were up there when they were sealed in the mirrors. It would be where the shrine is."
"And what would they want with a shrine?"
"I don't think they want the shrine." said Ed, a smile playing across his lips, "I think they want the original mirror."
There was more silence as Ed let this suggestion sink in.
"So they need the original mirror in order to release the other onigawa."
"I can't think why else they would be there. It's too much of a co-incidence. But they still need the 'key' onigawa and I think we have him."
"Max?"
"Yeah. When I first met Odolf he told me about his dreams. They were dreams of destruction. Just now Max was telling me that he too had had dreams but his were different. They sounded very much like whatever ritual Crowley was planning to release the onigawa."
"So in order to trap them, we need that mirror."
"And more, we need Max's onigawa awake."
"We don't know how to do that Ed."
"I know, I know." said Ed, "We need Crowley to wake that onigawa up and even then, we have no way of knowing if he'd be loyal to us. The onigawa Coeus spoke of made a voluntary sacrifice. We can't bank on Max doing the same once we strip him of his human will. He's willing now but once the demon awakes..."
"You sound like you've already thought of something."
"Well let's say this..." Ed postulated, "Suppose we were to hotfoot it over to Hakodate with Max and find the location of this mirror and bump into Crowley and his goons. I'm betting even Grace couldn't take out Crowley but if we allow ourselves to be captured then Crowley would waste no time in releasing Max's onigawa. The only problem is that Max wouldn't have enough willpower to force the onigawa to seal the mirrors instead of opening them."
"That and the fact he might just kill you."
"I don't think so." said Ed, "Crowley was always a showman. I bet he'd revel in the chance to force us to witness mankind's undoing."
"Ok, so, on the rare chance that you somehow pull this off..."
Ed nodded.
"We need something to allow Max to regain control over the onigawa when it awakes. When we went after Max we had a standoff. Grace was the only one to retain her willpower and managed to break the mirror and free us from whatever mind control Crowley was exerting. Max ended up shooting me because he couldn't fight the simultaneous wills of Crowley and the onigawa against his own."
Alf raised both eyebrows as Ed's plan dawned on him.
"You mean...?"
Ed grinned triumphantly.
"As long as Max is still willing, we get Grace to turn him. I know it sounds like a longshot but it's the best chance we've gotten so far. If we don't try, we may never get another shot."
"And if you fail Crowley will release all the onigawa at once."
"That's where my backup plan comes in. But first, I need to speak to Grace and then ok everything with Max. He has to understand that he'll end up trapped in the mirrors with them."
"You're asking a lot of him."
"I'm asking a lot of all of us, but the alternative is something none of us want."

No time

No time for a Bitesize I'm afraid folks. But I will leave you with this thought. I like to think that common sense can solve 99% of the world's problems. Like this for example. Starting from now, make all doorways one foot wider. Simple.
You ever tried to move a couch into or out of a house doorway?

Common sense, it can solve pretty much everything.

Bitesize 4.8

Bitesize 4.8

Back in England Ed found himself once more in the hands of the doctors. The damage to his shoulder was minimal, mostly cosmetic, but it still got him a couple of stitches. For the time being they'd kept Max away from Odolf, isolated in his own mirrorless room. the balance of power had finally shifted and now the whole base was on high alert expecting a counterattack from Crowley. Guards had been posted in varied locations and equipped with the Raddick electric guns in addition to the more traditional automatic wepaons. Ed doubted that Crowley would send Raddick after Max. He was too organised for that. He knew they had weapons to take Raddick down. If anything Ed guessed Crowley would send either Leclair or Jean Federicq. It occurred to him that they still had no idea what Fredericq was capable of either. Crowley would have wasted no time in awakening the poor man's slumbering demon and as the world was still free from invasion he clearly held some power other than the 'key'. The next step was to see just what Max knew. The ball was in Crowley's court and Ed didn't want to sit around waiting for him to realise it.


Max's room was pretty spartan but had the basic luxuries. Max was sitting on the bed when Ed arrived, his head hung in his hands. He looked up as Ed entered and looked apologetic.
"Hey. Sorry man, about earlier."
"It's ok Max." said Ed, "Could have been either one of us. He does that, Crowley, gets in your head, saps your willpower."
"But you fought him off?"
"I'm not so sure I did. It may just be that you were trying to fight off both Crowley's will and that of the onigawa inside you. You remember don't you? What Crowley did back in the war?"
Max nodded.
"Yeah I remember it. How can I forget. I see it every night. I was only a kid back then." he laughed, "Well, I suppose I'm still a kid now. But I was young and naive. Crowley got us all so worked up with that speech of his. How we were gonna be the first of the New Aryans. Stronger, faster, deadlier. He took our patriotism and wielded it against us just as Hitler had done in the first place. We wanted it at first, all of us. When we saw Raddick and that other prisoner, the French guy. Christ, he bust clean through a brick wall. Who wouldn't want that strength when you're fighting for your life against half the world? We were gonna be supersoldiers. True German heroes. But when it was over and Crowley was all freaking out... I dunno, it felt wrong. Dangerous. Me, I feared for my sanity. Crowley was like an infant, writhing round on the floor babbling. I didn't want to end up like that. After Raddick and the French guy escaped we all realised that whatever Crowley had done had failed. We weren't like them and all we wanted to do was get away, just escape from it all while we still could. But then as the years pass by, it starts to dawn on you. Something did happen. Crowley succeeded. I didn't keep in touch with the others but I could tell pretty quickly something was wrong and I figured Crowley was gonna hunt me down so I kept moving. I've been all over, America, Egypt, Japan, Australia. I just kept on going. But as the decades slipped by I thought maybe he wasn't coming? Maybe he'd died or gone crazy. Eventually I came back. Guess I shoulda kept my head down after all."
"If you had we might never have found you."
"So what happens now?"
Ed sighed and sat down on the bed.
"It's like this..."


Ed explained as much as he could, about Crowley's plans, the search for the 'key' and their efforts to find the others.
"So that's what's kept me young all these years? There is one of those things inside me?"
"I'm afraid so. And one of you we think, has the power to seal Crowley back in those mirrors. We just don't know which one, but thankfully it seems, neither does he."
There was a long period of silence and then Max spoke again, hesitantly.
"I think... I think it might be me."
"We can't know for sure."
"I have these dreams." Max carried on, "Some weird place filled with mist. It's dark except for occasional flashes of bright white light and there's voices, hundreds of them, all chattering at once. No faces, just voices, but it's like they're all waiting for me to do something. And with each flash the mist looks different, like it's concentrating in front of me into a huge dense circle. The thicker it gets the more the voices talk, the louder they get and then they start chanting and the circle solidifies. Jet black, like rock or something, but so smooth, so smooth I can see my own reflection in it only it's not me, it's the demon..."
"And then?"
"And that's it. The face always scares me and I wake up."
Ed put a hand on his chin and mulled this over. Max stood up.
"Wake it up." he said, determination in his voice. "Wake it up and if it's me we can stop him."
"And if it's not?"
Max shrugged.
"We can't wake it anyway." said Ed, "We don't know how. Only Crowley knows."
"Well..."
"Don't even say it." said Ed, "I didn't come and grab you just to turn you straight over to Crowley. It's risky. Besides, he'd be suspicious. He knows we wouldn't just give you up."
Max thought for a while.
"What if... What if we made it seem like he'd got lucky?"
"What do you have in mind?"

Wakey Wakey.

Christ, did someone die? It's been deathly quiet around here for the last few days. Hope you haven't all run away in shame over your poor quiz performance. ;)

I haven't had a proper monoblog for a while so allow me to offload a ton of random stuff from my brain into yours.

Films. Wow. Some world class film making going on at the moment huh? Just the other day I'm watching TV and see a trailer for some awesome looking action movie. I couldn't recognise what it might be and was literally stunned at the end when it announced "G.I. Joe". GI JOE!! Oh my God! Seriously, if someone had pitched a GI Joe film to me I would have immediately said "not interested". But it does look pretty awesome. Pretty damn awesome. I'm interested.
Also getting a lot of press recently is Lars Von Trier's latest masterpiece, Antichrist. And I don't use that term lightly. The Daily Mail has already called for it to be banned nationwide which was enough for me to prick up my ears. They want it banned? Gotta be good. Apparantly it's uber-violent, sick, twisted and full of psychological/supernatural weirdness. I won't spoil it by saying anything about it other than, if you think you can stomach it, go for it. It's not meant to be pleasant though, so no coming back for me if you get mentally scarred for life. Me, I'll be getting hold of it ASAP. ^^
Then there's Alice in Wonderland. :D Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter? It's either gonna fail harder than Willy Wonka or set a new standard. I hope it's the latter.
Then there's straight to DVD "Mega Shark Vs Giant Octopus". Pretty self-explanatory title there. Is it the new Godzilla? Probably not. But I still want to see it. Sure it's a fight any child could put on in the bath with his toys and I doubt Mega Shark will be a particularly deep main character but who cares? Bring on the mega shark. Here's the trailer.

Gonna be fucking hilarious? :) I hope so.

And then of course, in between a local calamity involving flaming acetylene cylinders and a 200m evacuation that delayed the latest Bitesize (long story, don't ask) I have tried to squeeze in some videogaming. I reactivated my Steam account (games for life, it was always such a genius concept) and redownloaded a bunch of games I bought back in 2003. Wayhay, counterstrike. Still as addictive as ever. But I also bought four 'new' titles.
Sniper Elite. Snipers are awesome. Nearly as awesome as ninjas. Especially WWII era snipers. I loved the later half of Call of Duty where we got to play as a moisin-nagant wielding Russian sniper. And I loved the film Enemy at the Gates. So this was a must-buy. I'm still on level one because it's difficult and time consuming but it's so enjoyable being just one man, slowly working your way across the terrain, picking off Russians and Germans from great distance before shifting position and going at it again. And the beautiful slow mo bullet cam on a headshot is very rewarding!
Deus Ex - Game of the Year Edition. been out a while and I never did get round to playing it so I picked it up. I'll let you know if it's any good some time in the future.

But mainly... AUDIOSURF! :D WOW! Ok, it's already well established that I love music. Audiosurf takes that love one step further. Simply point it towards any track on your computer and the game will analyze the song and build a racetrack that mirrors the song's rhythm. Slow parts will see uphill sections and fast parts go racing downhill with twists, turns and tunnels. And along this track you steer a little hovercraft, much like wipeout while the song plays in the background. It's so simple it's genius! But actually, slightly more complex than just that. Difficult to explain but easy it view, here are two videos. The first shows standard mode to the song Chop Suey by SOAD. The goal is to arrange the coloured blocks in patterns of three or more to score points. The second is Mono mode, Shotgun Blues by Guns n Roses. In mono mode the goal is to collect all coloured blocks, whilst hitting none of the grey blocks. All in all it's addictive as hell and available NOW on Steam for £5.99 ($9.99). Even if you're too poor to afford that frankly awesome price tag Steam also has a free demo of the game. :D
Oh and did I mention each song has a global scoreboard, allowing to compare your scores against the world, your country or even just your Audiosurf friends? My username is Charonicus so if you get it, add me! I'll take you on. ^^

Regular mode.


Mono mode


And I'm done for now. Got plenty more to do today. Now stop being strangers and leave me comments damn you!

Bitesize 4.7

Don't even ask.
Bitesize 4.7

The car screeched to a stop outside what Ed hoped was Max's house. It was a modern inner city terraced house, probably rented for its location rather than Max's main dwelling. Ed stepped up to the door an rapped upon it. He waited a while but there was no reply. There were too many people about to do anything drastic and instead Ed told the others to follow and they ran off down the street. They cornered at the end of the terrace and found a rear passageway allowing access to the back gardens of the properties. Thankfully they were empty and Ed counted along, stopping at the one that should belong to Max. The rear windows of the property all had their curtains drawn and Ed couldn't see through. He tried the rear door but it was, unsurprisingly, locked. Ed looked around, making sure the coast was still clear.
"Grace. This small window above the door handle."
Grace was already transforming behind him and soon her clenched wolf fist was smashing through the little window. Ed reached a hand in past the broken glass and felt for the knob of the Yale lock inside. He found it and twisted but still the door didn't give. With a sigh he realised that the mortis lock below the handle must be in place.
"Ok, do it." he said, stepping back and allowing Grace to hurl her body weight at the door. He kept a look out, expecting someone to respond to the noise as Grace battered the door until it gave way. When the door finally flung itself inwards Ed and Grace entered. Katia stayed by the back door.
"Go on." she said, "I'll make sure no one comes in to investigate."
Ed nodded and he and Grace made their way into Max's kitchen. It was almost spotless and worringly, no breakfast bowls or unfinished washing up. Ed drew his gun and tried the door from the kitchen. It opened straight into the lounge and there, sitting on the couch with his back to them was Maximilian. He was staring straight ahead, at a large mirror on the wall.
"Maximilian Haas?" Ed asked, pausing in the doorway.
There was no response and Ed took a few cautious steps forward. He circled around the sofa until he could see Max clearly. The young looking guy was sitting perfectly still, staring at his own reflection. In his lap he held a pistol.
"Max." said Ed again, more firmly. Behind Max, Grace was coming round from the other side of the couch. Suddenly Max leapt to his feet, brandishing the gun at Ed. Ed brought his own gun up, the two aiming the weapons at each other, barely two feet apart. Max's eyes were crazed and his head shook as he pointed the gun at Ed. Grace had stopped in her tracks, not wanting to risk Max getting a shot off. Ed stared at him.
"Put the gun down Max."
Max didn't respond. Ed saw his hand shaking, saw a moment's hesitation in his eyes.
"I'm going to put my gun down." he said, slowly and clearly. He looked into Max's eyes and lowered the gun just fractionally.
"No Ed. Why not shoot him?"
The voice came from inside Ed's own head. Against his will his hand raised the gun back up.
"Ugh, no." he grimaced as his finger applied pressure to the trigger. Something was stopping him and Ed fought with all his willpower not to squeeze the trigger. He could feel his finger twitching, close to firing. He tried to call out to Grace but couldn't control his mouth. He couldn't even look away. His gaze was locked on Max's eyes. Max too was staring at him, with the same confused, frightened look that Ed imagined himself to have. He managed a glance at Max's hand. It's movements mirrored Ed's. Both men seemingly fighting not to be the first to fire. Inside, Ed was screaming at himself not to fire, to relinquish his hold on the weapon but he couldn't.
It all happened in a flash. Ed heard a smashing sound, the sound of glass breaking. His finger slammed down on the trigger and at the same instant he felt his hand swing away, as though the force preventing it doing so had been yanked away. He heard the shot, felt the recoil. The gun fell from his grasp and Ed collapsed to his knees on on the floor. A fiery pain burned in his left shoulder and instinctively he reached up to feel it. It was warm and wet and as he pulled his hand away and looked at his fingers he saw blood. He clutched his shoulder and raised his gaze. Max was on his knees in front of him, sobbing. The gun hung limply from his hand, a wisp of smoke leaving the barrel. He seemed unhurt and Ed raised his view up to where Grace stood by the smashed mirror. Just further to the right of her was a television. The screen too was shattered and Ed could only guess that it was his bullet that hit it. He braced himself and lifted his hand from his shoulder, twisting his neck to look at it. Max's bullet had grazed a furrow clean across it and looking behind him Ed could see where the bullet had struck the wall. He gripped it again and slowly rose to his feet. There was a moment of dizziness but he fought it down.
"Max." he said.
Max looked up at him.
"I... I'm sorry. I couldn't stop it... I didn't want to..."
"It's ok."
As Max looked down Ed motioned at Grace and she transformed back to her human form behind him as Ed distracted him.
"Max, listen to me. You're still in danger. I can help. I can explain. But we have to leave, now."
The sobbing man nodded, weakly rising to his feet.
"Where?"
"England." said Ed, "We have to go right now. We'll explain everything when we get there."
"But..."
"No buts Max. Do you know who you saw?"
"It was him... Crowley." He shuddered, "That was so long ago."
"Back when you were still Werner Schmitt?"
Max looked surprised.
"I know all about it Max. About Crowley. About you. About the others."
"The others? They're still alive?"
"Some of them. We have Odolf with us in England."
Max looked down at the gun in his hand and tossed it aside.
"Ok. Let's go."

Useless Error Messages #1

Error seen in: Counterstrike.

Error message: Disconnected from server. Reason: Reliable Channel Overflowed.

Charon's comments: Yeah? Well, if it's so reliable then why the blue fuck is it overflowing? O_O

The Big Fat Stupid Answers!

Yes folks. The day you have been eagerly awaiting has arrived. Here are the answers to the Big Fat How Stupid Are You Quiz 2009!

Disclaimer: This is being directly copy/pasted to RPGN and DnDGamer from my blog. As such it may contain language inappropriate for those places. Admin can feel free to censor should they deem it necessary but I'll try watch my language. :P

Cu... just kidding.

The Big Fat Stupid Quiz With Answers.

Pokémon

1. Pokémon is a portmanteau of which two English words?
Pokémon, despite the misleading acute accent are Pocket Monsters.

2. An episode of the children's cartoon was banned after special effects triggered epileptic seizures in some viewers. Around which Pokémon was this episode based?
No not Jynx, or Missingno (that's not even a real pokémon Glim :P ) It was Porygon! Isn't he cute? Go google him. Mith gets extra kudos, though not points, for correctly identifying the episode itself as Electric Soldier Porygon.

3. Arguably the most iconic Pokémon, Pikachu is Ash's constant companion in the cartoon. What Pokémon does Pikachu evolve into?
Simple enough. Most of you got it. The answer is Raichu.

4. Pokémon communicate only by saying their own name. In the first batch of 150 there was one exception, a Pokémon that could commmunicate in English. Who?
Ooooh a tricky one. The answer I was looking for was Meowth, specifically the Meowth owned by Team Rocket, but the point is for Meowth. Now, two people mentioned Mewtwo. I'm not convinced Mewtwo can speak English at all. We only see him communicate telepathically. He can also understand the other Pokémon, leading me to believe that he hasn't learnt English at all, but his psychic abilities allow him to stimulate the language centre in the receiver's brain for direct telepathic communication in their native language! So sorry, no points for Mewtwo.

5. Ash is the hero of the cartoon series. His surname is almost a case of nominative determinism. What is Ash's surname?
Nominative Determinism is the theory that one's name can often indicate one's job. For example, a Mr Pipe has an increased chance of being a plumber, or a Mr Bun would find himself becoming a baker. Ash's surname is Ketchum, very close to the tagline 'Gotta Catch'em All!'. Some of you had this right but were slightly off on spelling. I'm going to allow it. You know who you are.

Astronomy

6. Earth has only one real moon but it is not the only lump of barren rock orbiting our planet. Name one other.
3753 Cruithne was the most obvious (or not) answer here although as Mith was quick to point it, it's not exactly orbiting Earth but rather the sun. It is a "Quasi-satellite" of Earth which is where the question was trying to lead. Earth has three other Quasi-satellites that you could have chosen. They are 2002AA29, 2003YN107 and 2004GU9. Cruithne is the only one that was actually named. Sputnik isn't made of rock so no point for that.

7. The universe is filled with radiation! Touted as support for the Big Bang Theory, this phenomenon is known as the CMB. What does this stand for?
I'll allow Ches's German translation for this one. CMB stands for Cosmic Microwave Background.

8. With the exception of Earth, all planets and their moons in our solar system are named after figures from Roman Mythology. What was Mars the God of?
War! Yes yes, you all knew it. I had to give you some easy ones or none of you would have played!

9. The SETI project allows anyone to participate by using their computer to analyze radio telescope data from the Arecibo Observatory. What does SETI stand for?
SETI is the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence. Seems most of you knew this.

10. The videogame DOOM is set on the two moons of Mars. Name them.
Phobos and Deimos. Again, quite common knowledge. I let you off easy with that one. Roughly translated Phobos and Deimos mean Fear and Dread. :) Nice huh?

Greek Mythology

11. My namesake Charon is often credited with sailing the river Styx. By now you should know, which river was it actually?
The Acheron! Not too many of you remembered that huh? Tut tut.

12. What was unusual about Athena's 'birth'?
She wasn't 'born', rather Zeus complained of a headache (Long story, to do with Metis, well done Mith). Someone, I forget who, cracked him on the skull at which point Athena burst from Zeus' head fully grown and wearing armour! :D Classy entrance.

13. Name all three Fates.
Wow Mith. I am impressed. Clotho, Atropos and Lachesis. Well done. O_O The rest of you, don't worry. That was a really hard one. :)

14. How was Hades, God of the Underworld, related to Zeus?
They were brothers. Two of three in fact as both are also related to Poseiden.

15. Prometheus was punished for stealing from the Gods by having his liver eaten every day. What did he steal to prompt this punishment?
Fire! Two people pointed out that he was punished specifically for then giving that fire to Man rather than the theft itself. Semantics! It was clear what I meant. :P

Smoking

16. In the first of Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings films, Bilbo and Gandalf blow some impressive smoke 'rings'. What is Gandalf's Piece de Resistance?
Yes. Many varied answers but all getting the point. It was a smoke ship/boat/galleon that sails through the air and through Bilbo's already impressive smoke ring.

17. In "The Simpsons", where does Snake keep his cigarettes?
Tucked into his sleeve, as Mith beautifully put it "aka 50's Greaser Style". Someone said "in his stomach". I'm afraid I specified Snake from the Simpsons, not Snake from Metal Gear Solid. Nice try. ;)

18. A filtration device that pulls smoke through ice or water filled chambers, often used for smoking Cannabis, is known as a what?
Bong! Yeah, another easy one.

19. In smoking terminology, what are 'skins'?
Despite complaints from Germany and Holland you both got this one right. Skins are papers used for rolling tobacco, also known as wraps or Rizlas. See, logic is often a good substitute for knowledge.

20. What visual feature distinguishes a menthol cigarette from a regular one?
Ooooh this was interesting. I specified the cigarette, not the packaging so those who said green packaging, correct in a way but no point I'm afraid. Those who said a green band near the filter, one point. This is a staple of nearly every menthol cigarette brand and is not found outside of the menthol category where the bands can be gold, silver, blue or red. Those who said a completely white filter as opposed to the usual orange, you get one point! The completely white filter is the most distinguishing feature by far and rarely deviated from. There is only ONE point per question though folks, so if you chose both answers I'm afraid that's still only one point.

Thundercats

21. Lion-O was the leader of the Thundercats. What was unusual about him?
Not his ginger hair. Not the fact that he is a talking cat man. Lion-O is a child, trapped in a man's body. The story goes that as the Thundercats fled their home planet they went into stasis. However, young Lion-O's stasis pod malfunctioned due to damage allowing his body to age whilst his mind remained that of a child.

22. Lion-O owned a sword that held the 'Eye of Thundera'. What was the sword called?
The Sword of Omens. Sorry Pikatsu but your witty "Eyesocket of Thundera" whilst amusing, gets no points.

23. Name the primary enemy of the Thundercats in full, ie Someone the Something.
Oooh this one caught you out. You know his name but not all of it? :) Mith got there. His name was....
Mumm-ra the Everliving!
Muwahahaha.

24. One of the Thundercats was an able engineer. Which one?
Panthro. Seems this was an easy one. :o

25. Who did Lion-O face in the Trial of Speed?
No it wasn't "Flash. Aaaaaah!". ¬¬
In order to come of age and lead the Thundercats Lion-O had to undergo five trials. The Trial of Speed was a cross-country race against the fastest Thundercat, Cheetara.

Anatomy

26. Where in your body is the Anvil?
Yes well done. Seems we all remember the bones of our Inner Ear quite well.

27. To what part of the body does the word 'Hepatic' refer to?
The Liver. Some of you got it, even our resident comic, Pikatsu.

28. What is the more common name for your scapula?
Not the kneecap folks, that would be the Patella. The scapula is your shoulder blade!

29. Beware the invaders! Amazingly not all cells in your body carry your DNA. In fact, there are cells inside you with their own unique DNA left over from a symbiotic relationship. What are these cells called?
Oops, caught a few of you off guard with this one. White Blood Cells is incorrect. They might contain foreign DNA temporarily whilst destroying nasties, but those nasties are hardly enjoying a symbiotic relationship now are they? The correct answer is Mitochondria. Once upon a time those were just things living inside humans and still carry their own genome! :o

30. Only one gender has a Vas Deferens. Is it found in males or females?
As anyone who has had a VASectomy will tell you gentlemen, this is most definitely yours.

Acronyms!

What do the following stand for?
Just a side note here. Mith pointed out that an acronym should actually spell another word (like LASER). Those who have participated in past 'how stupid are you' quizzes will know that already. I used the term acronym simply to avoid confusion among those who weren't aware of that fact.

31. PETA
People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals OR People for the Eating of Tasty Animals. Both are acceptable.

32. LED
Light Emitting Diode. High school physics folks.

33. NATO
North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

34. BSE
Batchelor of Science in Engineering or English is acceptable Mith, you smart-ass. What I was actually aiming for is Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy (Mad cow disease).

35. DVD
Digital Versatile Disc.

Labyrinth
There are still people who haven't seen Labyrinth?! OMG.

36. David Bowie plays the charming yet villainous Goblin King in this 80s film. What is his name?
His name is Jareth.

37. The Goblin King manages to temporarily trap Sarah in what room with a french name?
The Oubliette. Oublier is the French verb 'to forget'. An oubliette is simply a place you put people to forget about them, usually some inescapable cell. Sadly, Jareth's oubliette is a bit lame as it has a door. ¬¬

38. Into what horrific place does the Goblin King threaten to throw Hoggle?
Headfirst into... THE BOG OF ETERNAL STENCH! Heh heh. :D

39. What is the name of the teddybear missing from Sarah's room at the start of the film?
The teddy's name is Lancelot. Observant folk may notice that in the opening of the film we are shown Sarah's room which contains, among other things, the Labyrinth book, a teddy of Didymus and a fiery.

40. What is the name of the baby stolen by the Goblin King?
Toby. Although Jareth wants to name him Jareth. :P

Phobias

What are the following fears of?

41. Nyctohylophobia.
I wrote a poem about it. Thanks for paying attention. Nyctohylophobia is the fear of forests or other wooded areas at night.

42. Mottaphobia.
My own personal fear, Mottaphobia is the fear of moths! I always used to fear that one day I would be attacked by one giant moth that would chew my face off but since last week it occurred to me that it would be just as horrific to be attacked by a plague of moths and eaten alive! Argh!

43. Apeirophobia.
An interesting one. This is the fear of infinity. Which when I think about it, is fairly rational. Infinity is after all, a pretty fucking scary concept when you sit down and dwell upon it. :S

44. Triskaidekaphobia.
Some knew it, some took a logical step from Tri and Deka. This is the fear of the number 13.

45. Sesquipedalophobia.
The ironic one. This is the fear of long words. :) How charming.

Fantasy-mancy

In fantasy, the suffix -mancer denotes someone with magical ability. In what areas of magic would the following specialise?

Congratulations. We are all good at our mancys, or rather, good at those prefixes.

46. Pyromancer.
Fire. Nice easy one.

47. Necromancer.
Death/Undeath or the Dead/Undead.

48. Cryomancer.
Cold/Ice

49. Geomancer.
Earth.

50. Osteomancer.
Bones! Hah hah. Good guesses people. This does exist as a prestige class in DnD. The osteomancer can not only grow his own bones outside of his skin to form armour plates but at tenth level can liquefy his enemies bones with a glance! Ouch!

Internet Slang

51. In '1337', what is a b0xx0r?
Boxers? Pffft. It is a 'box', which is a computer.

52. What does IIRC stand for?
No not Internet Relay Chat, that is IRC. IIRC stands for If I Remember/Recall Correctly, which most of you did. :)

53. What is the alternative name for a 'smiley'?
An emoticon. (Emotional icon)

54. What is Godwin's Law?
Hah hah. Classic. The longer a discussion continues upon an internet forum the greater the chance of a reference or comparison to Nazis and/or Hitler.

55. Someone who leaves negative comments for the sole purpose of provoking a reaction is known as a what?
A Troll.

Animal Adjectives

We all know canines are dogs and felines are cats, but to what animal do the following refer?
Seems you all know your animals well.

56. Ursine.
Bears. (Those who failed, you could have pulled this logically from the constellation Ursa Major, the Great Bear).

57. Porcine.
Porc is french for pork. Yup, that's right. Pigs.

58. Lupine.
Wolves, NOT FOXES, those are Vulpine.

59. Piscine.
Fishes. :P

60. Leonine.
Lions of course. Easy.

Elemental Symbols

According to the Periodic Table, what is the symbol for...

61. Tungsten.
W. Well done Ches for knowing that W stands for Wolfram.

62. Sodium.
NA.

63. Potassium.
K.

64. Lead.
PB, from the french Plomb.

65. Gold.
AU.

Phw-ore!

Metals are extracted from ore. Ready? Name that metal!
You all know your ores too it seems!

66. Bauxite.
Aluminium. Which you are allowed to pronounce stupidly if you are American.

67. Malachite.
Copper.

68. Haematite.
Iron (Haemoglobin people).

69. Cinnabar.
Mercury! Well done to all who got this. I'm impressed. This is actually quite recent knowledge for me so really well done.

70. Magnetite.
I tried to catch you out but you are too smart for me. It's Iron again! :D Pikatsu suggested magnets which is wro... well actually. It's sorta right. But no point!

Advertising Slogans

Name that product!

71. It's the Real Thing.
Coca Cola

72. Just do it.
Nike

73. Get some nuts!
The latest slogan for Snickers, yelled by none other than Mr T!

74. Melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
M&Ms classic 80s slogan.

75. Taste the Rainbow.
Skittles.

Armour

Where on your body would you wear the following pieces of armour?

Oooh we do know our armour. Well done. I'm secretly hoping my article upon the subject was what you learnt from. ^^

76. Basinet.
Basin? It's a type of helmet and thus is worn upon the head.

77. Greaves.
These go on your leggies.

78. Vambraces.
Forearms. I'll accept arms.

79. Gauntlets.
Hands.

80. Gorget.
The neck or throat. Well done to those that got this. Gorge is the clue of course.

Horses

Who rides the following famous horses?

81. Silver.
Started out easy, most of you identified Silver as the horse ridden by The Lone Ranger. Why was he the LONE ranger when he always had Tonto with him? :S

82. Binky.
Oh ho ho. Stumped some of you here. Binky is the horse ridden by DEATH in the Discworld novels.

83. Black Bess.
Ridden by infamous highwayman Dick Turpin.

84. Thirty/Thirty.
Wow, well done. I thought this would stump you. Thirty/Thirty is the mechanical humanoid horse ridden by cartoon sheriff Bravestarr. Speed of the Puma! :P

85. Shadowfax.
The fastest horse in Middle Earth, Shadowfax is ridden by none other than our favourite wizard of all time, Gandalf!

Dinosaurs! Rawr!

Name them for points.

86. Famously had feathers.
Famously. I said famously! Archaeopteryx! It was practically a bird. I will however allow a point to those that missed the obvious and instead chose Deinonychus. Hardly the famous feathered one but feathered nonetheless.

87. Could be considered the 'King' of dinosaurs.
King? Rex? Yup. Tyrannosaurus Rex.

88. It's horny, horny, horny.
Triceratops. Three horns, you see? :)

89. Its name implies speed.
Velociraptor. Did anyone not get this? :P

90. Famous for its bony spine plates.
Stegosaurus. NOT Bonyspineplatesaur. ¬¬

Computer Jargon

91. What does WYSIWYG stand for?
What You See Is What You Get.

92. What animal is the symbol for the Linux operating system?
The Penguin! O_O How did so many of you not get this?

93. What does BIOS stand for?
Basic Input Output System.

94. Before starting up your computer needs to POST. What does POST stand for?
Power On Self Test.

95. Many internet addresses end in .com. What word is 'com' a contraction of?
Commerce or Commercial. I'll accept either.

Fictional Kingdoms

Well, more like fictional places and their residents.

96. Who lives in Eternia?
Some bizarre guesses for this one. Eternia is home to He-Man (and the masters of the universe and all the bad guys).

97. Which three little girls live in Townsville? Their collective name and their individual names please.
Only one point so you need to get the whole bunch to claim it! The Powerpuff Girls, Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup.

98. Who would you find hiding in the Fortress of Solitude?
Superman.

99. The White Witch brought eternal winter to which magical place?
No not Finland. Lol. Narnia!

100. Who would you expect to find attending Sunnydale High School?
Buffy Summers, also known as the Slayer. You also get a point if you managed to be smartass and intentionally named other Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters such as Giles, Xander or Willow instead.


It's taken an hour to sort through that little lot and obviously, marking all your answers would take way too long. I did read them all though and some were very entertaining. :) I will extend you the trust of marking your own scores and letting us know how you did.

Thank you all for taking part. I had great fun and I hope you did too. And hey, if you learnt something along the way then all the better. Perhaps we'll do this again sometime in the not too distant future. I sure would like to throw in K's Shakespeare category. ;)

Final Disclaimer: Judge's decision is final. No complaints about Cruithne or I'll stab you! Grr. :P

Bitesize 4.6

Bitesize 4.6

Ed wondered all the way to the Stadion about the best way to approach Maximilian. In the end he decided to stick with the simple honesty that had served him well with Odolf. It seemed so far that the men whose Onigawa were awake were loyal to Crowley while those that weren't had nothing but fear for him. Ed hoped to use that fear to persuade Max to immediately abscond with him, back to England, just as Odolf had done. With a chance to finally gain leverage over Crowley the last thing Ed wanted was to screw this opportunity up. Deep down he was still worried. So far they had no idea what Crowley was truly capable of and it was only a matter of time until a confrontation occurred.

Ed slid the car into a parking space a short distance from the Stadion. They still had an hour until Max's training session would be complete. Ed didn't know which part of the Stadion Max would emerge from but this road he had parked on would surely be his route home, based on the address that Alf had pulled from the police files. Ed's plan was to linger outside the Stadion and try to spot Max leaving so that he could confront him on foot. But, just in case, he had told Katia to keep the car's engine running.

Ed waited nearly the full hour then left Katia with the car and made his way towards the Stadion. He bypassed the main crowd entrance and went down the side of the stadium. Here the road was a quieter one, lined with cars down one side. The cars were sportier than the average family vehicle and no doubt belonged to the footballers. He located the side door and hung around. He wasn't the only one. two more men stood in conversation nearby, both holding cameras. He didn't understand the German they were speaking but guessed from the cameras that they were members of the press waiting to snap a few photos of the team.

Minutes passed by, eventually turning into half an hour before the doors finally opened and the footballers began leaving. Ed looked at their faces one by one, mentally comparing them to the photo he'd studied of Maximilian. None of them were familiar. One by one they left through the door, posed upon the photographers' requests and made their way to their cars. It wasn't long before only two cars remained. Ed was starting to get nervous. What was holding Max up? Were there mirrors in the changing rooms? He mentally kicked himself. There were bound to be mirrors. Maybe Crowley had already got to him. Ed was about to try the door himself when a man wearing a suit exited the building. Ed took a deep breath and stopped him.
"Excuse me. Do you... speak English?" he asked hopefully.
"English. Ja, a little." the man replied in a heavy German accent.
"I'm looking for Maximilian Haas?"
The man shook his head.
"Max. He did not come today, for training."
Ed looked surprised and the man added,
"He did not say why. You know Max?"
"No. No I don't."
The man shrugged, clearly unsure of what else to say.
"Thanks anyway." said Ed.
He walked away and as he left the man's sight he broke into a sprint. Max hadn't turned up for training. Why didn't he think to check his house first? He ran across the street, back to the car where Katia was waiting and wrenched the door open, clambering into the driver's seat and gunning the engine.
"Did he leave already?" asked Katia.
"He never arrived." said Ed.
The sentence hung in the air, the silence broken only by the screech of tires as Ed pressed down on the accelerator and drove off down the road. Max's house was twenty minutes away. No matter how fast he drove Ed knew already it was probably too late...