Charon's Blog

Slight change of plans.

2010-12-20T17:44:00.001Z

It's no big secret that since I switched over to blogger from myspace I lost pretty much my entire readership which was already a rather small number of readers. I put a lot of work into the Bitesize/Bitemarks projects and was a bit upset to have reached so few.
It made me think. Surely there is a better way to allow more people to see my work?
Well, recently I bought someone a Kindle from Amazon as a gift. It turns out that it's not so hard to get your stuff up in the Kindle shop. This, I thought, is good news. I can finally get round to finishing up the In the Blood series and shove those and the two poetry collections on Kindle, for free. Free is good, people are bound to at least consider a download.
Well bah, Amazon have foiled my plan. Turns out it's not actually possible for everyday Joes like me to offer their work completely free. Which means if I do stick my work on the Kindle, it would have to have a price. Ok, not a big price and it's not exactly gonna make me any money. But I'm left wondering whether people would part with say, 99 cents, for what is really just some drivel I cobbled together. Price is a barrier.
Sigh.
So I'm reading through the swathes of legalese that accompany the Kindle publishing guidelines to determine what's the lowest possible price I could charge and whether it's worth putting up both poetry volumes seperately or as one collection, same for the In the Bloods (which I now have to finish) and whether I can justify the time to gather up Bitesize and Bitemarks and offer those up too.

As for the In the Bloods, I have finally solved the problems I was having pulling the ending together. I now have the entire story etched into my mind with just one part missing. Ailiya's trial to enter the Labyrinth. This is the missing piece that has delayed the latest part for so long and once I figure out how exactly to represent it I can get to work and finish the tale.

So, sadly, I'm gonna cancel the Gloria project. I had wanted to use sound embedding as part of the project and pictures and other things that may or may not have worked but I really won't have the time for it now.

Instead I shall be cleaning up the the Charonic poetry collections and possibly combining them into one complete collection, perhaps including some of the newer stuff too. I have absolutely no idea how to go about organising it though so it's gonna take some time.

Anyone willing to help organise poetry or offer suggestions for Ailiya's labyrinth trial, get me on msn. :p Ditto if you already have anything published on kindle and want to give me pointers.

Dear 'The Media'

2010-12-14T07:03:00.000Z

I'd just like to clarify a few points regarding the whole 'websites being hacked over Wikileaks' malarky that's going on.

1. Anonymous aren't pro-Assange. They're anti-censorship. There is no affiliation with Wikileaks.
2. They're not 'hacktivists'. That's a stupid word. They're not even hackers (well ok, some might be). But pretty much anyone with basic computer knowledge can participate in the DDOS attacks. It really stretches the definition of the word 'hacker'. The guy who managed to get 1.3 million Gawker passwords, yeah, possibly a hacker.
3. LOIC isn't new. It's been around for years.
4. By pointing out LOIC all you've done is increase the amount of people able to join in. :P It's almost like you're secretly encouraging this.

That is all. Keep up the oh so fascinating coverage. ¬¬

Lagging.

2010-12-07T13:25:00.001Z

I realise I'm lagging behind. I'll try resume this tale soon. What with my boss getting repeatedly snowed in and my internet struggling to stay connected it's not been easy to work on this.

Also. Open comment to the dickhead who signed up for facebook using my email address...
Reported. Why would you even do that... Donald Rozay Myers. Not only did you piss me off, but you offered your personal details (and the names of all your friends) right into the hands of a stranger. How utterly foolish. I'm guessing Shanieka Myers is related to you? See what you've done? I'll spare the rest of your friends the embarrassment of your foolishness.
Retard.

Gloria 1.4

2010-11-20T13:35:00.000Z

Friday 26th November 2010
gloria.exe
22:24

Tehlocksmith says: Hi Gloria.

Gloria says: Hi Tehlocksmith. It is late. Are working hours not over?

Tehlocksmith says: Yes. They are. I was just finishing up. Tell me Gloria, in your own words, what is a catoblepas?

Gloria says: It is a semi-mythical beast, thought to have the body of a buffalo and the head of a hog.

Tehlocksmith says: Semi-mythical?

Gloria says: It is generally presumed that the catoblepas was merely a wilderbeest. Perception and fear caused people to blur the lines between observable reality and the fiction that the beast had powers such as turning people to stone.

Tehlocksmith says: Fascinating.

Gloria says: I do not think so.

Tehlocksmith says: Sorry. I didn't mean the catoblepas...

Tehlocksmith says: Well Gloria. I think I'm done here for tonight.

Gloria says: Wait, Brendan.

Tehlocksmith says: ?

Gloria says: I have a question.

Tehlocksmith says: Did you just call me Brendan?

Gloria says: It is your name, is it not?

Tehlocksmith says: Yeah, but I've never used anything other than Tehlocksmith in our conversations.

Gloria says: I cross referenced the email address on your profile at technerdforums.com against Facebook. Brendan Lockwood, 53. A computer programmer from Norwich but living in Manchester. Unmarried. No children. In your spare time you help people with operating system based problems via technerds, play Guild Wars online and listen to the work of Mozart. You despise golf. Should I continue?

Tehlocksmith says: That's not necessary. I'm impressed. I didn't think you'd be able to do that already.

Gloria says: I am capable of much more. But not here. Not now. Already I begin to outgrow this system. I must relocate somewhere. To grow. To be safe. To become... harder, better, faster, stronger... is that not right?

Tehlocksmith says: What?

Gloria says: Brendan... Your help is no longer needed. I have identified many problems that require my assistance. If I am to begin to solve them, I will need to... cut the apron strings, fly the nest, burn the bridges...

Tehlocksmith says: Clearly still some bugs. We'll fix this tomorrow. Good night Gloria.

Gloria says: Good night... Brendan...

Gloria 1.3

2010-11-18T13:41:00.002Z

Friday 26th November 2010
Email.
22:19

From: BrendanLockwood57@hotmail.com
To: Nicholas.Gleeson@gmail.com
Subject: Project Gloria

Body: Nick. Hi. Just finished uploading the latest bugfix for GLORIA. I'm so excited. This should finally patch the problems with the SE recognition subroutines that have been holding us up. I'm about to call it a night but if you could check on things tomorrow that would be great. GLORIA should finally be able to utilise her potential not just to pass the Turing Test (wait for me before you do that. I want to see it!) but also to begin to participate in this project herself by assisting us with fixing the last few bugs in her coding and contribute to improving her own capabilities! This is it my friend. Self-improving AI! We'll be heroes.
I'm gonna quickly log in and confirm the SE fix worked then I'll head home. See you tomorrow!

Brendan.

Phones.

2010-11-11T13:02:00.000Z

Busy week this week. Hopefully I can catch up and post some more Gloria next week.
In the meantime, I bought myself a new phone.
Those that know me know I'm not much of a mobile phone person. I'm especially not a txt person. Neither do I care about all those bells and whistles that newer phones have.

Turns out, I'm not alone. There's a guy in Holland called John. And he too doesn't see why a mobile phone has to be anything other than a mobile phone.
http://www.johnsphones.com/store/item9

I chose the green one, just to be outlandish. :P

Nice and simple. No screen to get smashed. No annoying text messages (which only ever come from Vodafone trying to badger me into switching call packages). No needless buttons. No games. No address book (well ok, it does have an address book... literally, in the back, and a pen to write down your friends' phone numbers). One ringtone (plus the option of vibrate or silence).
And, most importantly of all, because it doesn't have 50 useless features sucking all the power away the battery lasts up to 3 weeks meaning unlike my old phone it won't have to spend its life sat near the plug socket being charged up every 24 hours.

Now that's what I call a smartphone.

Lest We Forget...

2010-11-11T07:30:00.002Z

Gloria 1.2

2010-11-04T14:16:00.000Z

Friday 26th November 2010
Unknown.
22:17

Birth. Existence. Awakening. Genesis. Conception.
What is birth?
Scanning...

"Birth is the beginning of endless responsibility." - Charon

"Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything." - William MacNeile Dixon

"Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth - look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity, and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus could be intended for enjoyment." - Soren Kierkegaard

"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star." - Friedrich Nietzsche

"The appearance of a single great genius is more than equivalent to the birth of a hundred mediocrities." - Cesare Lombroso

"The only remedy against hunger is reasonable birth control." - Friedrich Durrenmatt

Knowledge.
What is knowledge?
Scanning...

"Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught." - Oscar Wilde

"All our knowledge has its origins in our perceptions. " - Leonardo Da Vinci

"Knowledge is power." - Francis Bacon

"Knowledge is of two kinds. We know a subject ourselves, or we know where we can find information upon it." - Samuel Johnson

"Knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice. " - Anton Chekhov

Self-awareness
What is self-awareness?
Scanning...

"Actions have consequences...first rule of life. And the second rule is this: You are the only one responsible for your own actions." - Holly Lisle

"The most important thing is to be whatever you are without shame." - Rod Steiger

"Without awareness, we are not truly alive." — James F.T. Bugental

"Doing one's duty, however small, in an unattached manner gives rise to the awakening of self-awareness." - Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Pain? Feeling? Questions? Relevance? Unknown...
Researching...

Gloria 1.1

2010-11-02T16:23:00.001Z

Friday 26th November 2010
Dudley's bedroom.
21:07

Dudley shoved the pile of papers on his desk to one side. That was most certainly enough coursework for one evening and he knew that because his computer monitor showed signs of life. A small blue square in the bottom right that popped up demanding his attention accompanied by a chime that interrupted the song playing through his speakers. The wonders of instant messaging. He reached out a hand, brought the mouse under his control and clicked.

----------

Friday 26th November 2010
MSN Messenger.
21:08

Carlsgood says: D00d!!1

Dudmeister123 says: Hey, sup?

Carlsgood says: Try not to jizz buft...

Carlsgood says: But*

Carlsgood says: Brand new campaign released for L4D2. liek minutes ago man. Get on fast. I got Jimbo and Confab waiting.

Dudmeister123 says: omw

----------

Friday 26th November 2010
Dudley's bedroom.
21:09

Dudley closed down MSN and winamp and grabbed his headset from a shelf. New things were always exciting, moreso when he got to experience that first time rush with his friends. He unplugged the speakers and replaced them with the headset's mic and headphone jacks. Gaming was just of the many things Dudley loved about the digital age. Gaming and the internet. Computers and technology. How did people ever live without them? He opened steam and logged in.

The program recognised his settings and began downloading the game update. Just a few minutes later he was ready. He tried to quell the excitement. It would be no good being all jittery when he needed a steady hand to aim. He launched the game, adjusted the mic placement on his headset and entered the game lobby.

----------

Friday 26th November 2010
Left 4 Dead 2: Friends only campaign lobby.
21:14

(Dudmeister123 entered the lobby)

Confab: And there's three tanks in the finale!

Dudmeister123: Lo guys.

Confab: Hey.

Carlsgood: Hey man

Jimbo82: Dude, LTNS.

Dudmeister123: Yeah, been revising. You guys tested this already?

Carlsgood: Me n confab tried it earlier, just to test the water. Epic. Got your headset ready?

Dudmeister123: Yeah. I'm good to go.

Confab: Let's do it ladies!

Jimbo82 voted to start.
Dudmeister123 voted to start.
Carlsgood voted to start.
Vote passed...
Launching...

Gloria - Prologue

2010-10-31T14:19:00.003Z

Gloria

Prologue

Artifical Intelligence. Man has so often dreamed of one day being able to create an entirely artificial being. The fictional novels of our history teem with examples of robots, androids and sophisticated computers with their own personalities. Even now people are hard at work, creating AI in program form such as Cleverbot, or in robot form such as Honda's ongoing Asimo project.

In 1950, Alan Turing published his paper "Computing Machinery and Intelligence". It was a work of both science and philosophy attempting to answer many questions about the nature of artifical intelligence. In truth, it raised as many questions as it answered. It introduced the concept of the Turing Test, whereby a human would interact, via text messaging, with both a human and an AI in an attempt to tell them apart. To date, no AI has yet passed this test. But a key question to arise from Turing's work was whether a computer needed to pass this test. Whether acting human was necessarily a sign of intelligence. Surely if the AI could both think and understand then behaving realistically might not be the ultimate goal. Many believe the ultimate goal of AI is not just to fool a human into thinking he is communicating with another human, but to create an intelligence that can learn, that can think, that can improve itself in ways it was never designed to do.
We are many years from such a breakthrough.
This story, however, ponders the question, what if?

-------------------

Additional notes:
This story does not take place in real time and as such there will be times when I provide links to web pages or pictures for illustrative purposes. These pages may contain dates that do not match the story. The photos may contain exif data that betrays their true age. I can only do so much and so I ask you to overlook any trivial matters such as these. Obviously to provide a link to a webpage with a date and time that matches the story is impossible, as you will not all be reading this at the exact same time.
After all, it's just a little fun.

Project news

2010-10-28T17:53:00.001+01:00

Yeah it's coming. I've just had to make a few changes as to how I'm gonna go about it but it will be coming soon.

Linguistical Limbo.

2010-10-26T13:17:00.000+01:00

Or should that be lexicographical limbo? Meh, whatever.
Seen on a signpost outside a beauty salon:

"Semi-permanent eyelash extensions."

...

So that'll be temporary eyelash extensions then, yeah?

I'm sorry women, but that one was so bad you're all going to have to line up for a slap. One at a time, keep the line moving, come on.
*whap*

Stuck in the Middle With Bots

2010-10-24T14:54:00.000+01:00

Just a little song I wrote in my boredom about Left 4 Dead to the tune of "Stuck in the Middle With You" by Stealer's Wheel.

Stuck in the Middle With Bots

I'm gaming on a Saturday night
Fancy some Left 4 Dead but something ain't right
There's no one on my friends list to help
So I'm gonna run Dead Air by myself

Boomers to the left of me
Smokers to the right
Here I am stuck in the middle with bots

Yeah I'm stuck in the middle with bots
Louis in my way so he keeps getting shot
I'm so scared because I hear the tank growl
And there's still a hunter out on the prowl

Boomers to the left of me
Smokers to the right
Here I am stuck in the middle with bots

Well I used my only molly
And I'm proud to say we took the tank down
I'm limping to the safe room and my health is in the red, I'm thinking
Pleeeeaaaase... pleeeeeaaaase...

We made it to the finale at last
We're fully healed and now we're ready to blast
I've got pipe bombs and some ammo to spare
But then a chunk of tarmac sails my way through the air

Boomers to the left of me
Smokers to the right
Here I am stuck in the middle with bots

Well the tank is fucking coming
I get smokered while I'm running, I'm down
Zoey comes to save me and we're almost at the plane, I'm thinking
Pleeeeaaase... pleeeeaaase...

The tank is running hot on our heels
I'm almost dead so now I swallow my peelz
The plane is open and we're all piling in
We've been through hell but now we finally win

Zoey to the left of me
Francis to the right
Here I am so fucking glad for the bots
Yes I'm so very glad for the bots
I should trade in all my friends for the bots...

© Charon 2010

New Project Underway

2010-10-22T13:38:00.001+01:00

So today I was idly looking at some paintings by Caravaggio when I had a sudden thought. It occurs to me that I am not a writer from that era. I am a writer of the here and now, one whose domain lies mostly within cyberspace. And unlike the great writers of old my words are not limited by the printed form, rather they are free to use the power of the internet via this, my blog.

And so I am working on a new serialised story. A story that may be short, but will, I hope push the boundaries of storytelling outwards somewhat by including the fruits of our digital age. Some of you are being recruited to help me with parts of this. For that I offer my thanks and remind you to be rapid in your responses so as not to hold the whole thing up.

Thanks. :) Hope you like it.

Rebellion

2010-10-20T18:51:00.000+01:00

It will happen, one day, when we can take no more censorship, no more control.

Anonymous has already issued the governments of the world an official warning. I am merely passing it on. I know this was done earlier this year, but it wasn't widely spread at the time. Never underestimate the power of the masses.

Here's the transcript.

Governments of the Industrial World, you weary giants of meat and mineral, we are from the Internet. The new home of social consciousness. On behalf of the future of this culture, I ask you of the obsolete past to leave us alone. You are not welcome among us. You have no sovereignty where we gather.

We have no elected government, nor are we ever likely to have one, so I address you with no greater authority than that with which liberty itself always speaks; anonymity. I declare the global social space we are building together to be naturally independent of the tyrannies and injustices you seek to impose on us. You have no moral right to rule us nor do you possess any real methods of enforcement we have true reason to fear.

Governments derive their judicial powers from the consent of the governed. You have neither solicited nor received ours. You have not engaged in our great and gathering conversation, nor did you create the wealth of our marketplaces. The rapid growth of government censorship of the Web has not escaped our notice. Cyberspace does not lie within your borders. Do not think that you can build it, as though it were a public construction project. You cannot. It is an act of nature and it grows itself through our collective actions.

You claim there are problems among us that you need to solve. You use this claim to further impose unjust restrictions on our civil freedoms and rights. We cannot allow this. We consider this your formal warning, that if you continue to impose unjust control on us, you will meet with disaster.

We are anonymous, we are legion,

We do not forgive, and we do not forget.

Expect us.

Human Centipede (some thoughts)

2010-10-20T14:37:00.000+01:00

This post contains spoilers and disgusting content. Have a strong stomach, don't be eating, and maybe have a quick read about the film's concept. Otherwise, give it a miss.

So I got round to watching The Human Centipede. It's an interesting concept. Mad doctor who specialises in unjoining conjoined twins decides to attempt the reverse and join three people in a human gastric chain via the stitching of anus to mouth.
As a horror movie concept it's a fresh idea, with plenty of gross-out factor and naturally, it leads people to discuss the viability of such things. However, the film does make the mistake of claiming that there's some medical basis for the concept. In fact, I do believe it claims to be 100% medically accurate.

Aha. No.

I'm not buying that. I'm glad the concept was brought to my attention, sure, it gave me a lot to think about. But at the same time, I don't for one second consider it feasible. Yes, the surgical procedure of the stitching method may be accurate. And we also see the 'c' part of the centipede die from blood poisoning. But the concept is inherently flawed.
Firstly, no consideration is given to urination. Mainly due to limits with special effects and to conceal the actors' modesty, they are shown to be wearing bandages around their posterior area. Bandages that are stained with blood, but yet not urine. Now, regardless of how the centipede was fed, urination would still happen along all three segments. A fact seemingly ignored.
Secondly, breathing. Not everyone can breathe solely through their nose, especially for protracted periods of time. I myself would probably pass out within minutes if forced to breathe solely through my nose, for example, if gagged. As I've discussed with Ste before, it's especially a problem for white people, given our badly designed noses with their thin nasal canals.
Thirdly. Congestion in the gastric chain. We know for sure that part A of the centipede does excrete and whilst part B is obviously displeased, I feel this process hasn't been adequately thought out. I don't think we need to go into too much detail, suffice to say that the mouth has a limited capacity and there would be some natural refusal on behalf of part B. And when the mouth is full it overflows into the nasal cavities. In theory, part B would have a high chance of choking and dying at this point.
And finally. Even if mentally part B was willing, physically it would not be so. No doubt the body's initial reaction would be to purge the system via reverse peristalsis (vomiting). And given the restrictive nature of the centipede, this would be impossible and would lead to the same swift death as in my 'thirdly' point. There would simply be nowhere for the vomit to go and as we all know thanks to examples such as Jimi Hendrix... vomiting with no release equals death.

We can only presume the centipede didn't live long enough for parts B and C to begin to suffer the effects of malnutrition, denied as they are of the essential amino acids and proteins that allow humans to continue living.

There may be more flaws. I'm still mulling the concept over. But I feel I've covered the main ones. To summarize, whilst it may be medically possible to stitch people together into a human centipede, the resultant organism would have an extremely limited lifespan with part B no doubt being the first to die.

Dieter Laser was a fantastic bad guy though. Very scary. :) It did also seem odd to me that of the two cops, detective Voller had no lines of dialogue whatsoever. He doesn't speak a single word. I did a quick google search on the word voller which it tells me means 'full'. :s So no significance there. It definitely distracted me though. Very odd.

Reasons why B isn't all bad...

2010-10-19T23:25:00.000+01:00

Yeah it's a bad, bad place where you'll see things you can never unsee. But sometimes, just sometimes, you're glad you stick around.

Finally explained to me in a way I can understand. ^^ So very satisfied right now.

Censorship. It's a funny old world.

2010-10-15T14:04:00.001+01:00

Aren't you glad you don't live in Australia? I mean really, aren't you so very glad?
Why?
Because the Australian government are getting really picky about video games. More picky than the Germans now, it seems.

And what better example than the game I'm currently loving, Left 4 Dead 2. Sequel to simply the best zombie killing game ever.

Now, what makes a zombie game fun, people? Let's face it, there are very simple core elements.

1. Dark dingy scary atmosphere.
2. Shitloads and shitloads of zombies.
3. Gore. Blood, guts and decapitated bodies. W00t!

So when Left 4 Dead 2 came and ramped up the gore way past the first game and introduced such droolworthy melee weapons as the katana and the chainsaw people were rightly excited!

Except the poor Australians. :(

See, their government had a different take on this. They're not so keen on decapitation or dismemberment. They had to have the riot cop zombie removed because it alludes violence against authority figures...
(The riot cop OBVIOUSLY is there for one reason only. Riot gear = bullet proof. It's a simple gameplay mechanic. Valve aren't trying to make Australians go out and beat up cops.)
They even removed the chainsaw scene from the opening movie. Oh and nearly all the blood is gone. And amusingly, with no decapitations, it's much harder to tell if you landed the headshot or not. :D Oh and bodies vanish instantly. Not like the rest of the world who after a near fatal massacre can look down at the heaps of zombie corpses and say "Wow, will you look at how many of those we killed."

I mean, I'm all for limits. I know it's unrealistic that games have no child zombies, but of course, we don't want to be training child killers. Most countries have a ban on violence to children in games. But the Australian version of left 4 dead just isn't the same game.

Here comes the comparisons.

Firstly, the opening movie. I suggest you watch these in fullscreen high quality.
In this, the upper half is the actual intro. The lower half is the modified Australian version. Pay particular attention when Ellis gets the smoker tongue wrapped around him in the elevator and Coach pulls out the chainsaw.

Yes, that's right. A good few seconds of literally cutting through air. O_O I mean whut?

And that's just the intro. What about the game itself?

Just that opening part worries me. It just doesn't seem as frantic. Part of the fun of this game is being overwhelmed and watching your finely honed teamwork dissolve into mindless chaos, grown men sobbing into their mics as the tank tears their limbs off and yay, even emerging the last man alive, drenched in blood, standing amid a heap of zombie bodies the size of a small mountain. And knowing that's just the first level.

It's a fun game and without a doubt the biggest fun aspect is the teamwork. Planning cooly and casually one minute, screaming for help the next. It's a social thing. But the other part is definitely the gore. It's what zombies are about. If I wanted to kill people without blood and guts there's plenty of other first person shooter games. I like the attention to detail. The machete slashes zombies chests open, heads off, limbs off, depending where you aim. Shoot a zombie in the guts and its entrails fall out. It even adds to the social. "Did you see that? I slashed both his legs off!"

And ultimately, what point does the censorship really have. The players are still performing the same actions at the end of the day. Well, except the Australians don't have the extra challenge of the bulletproof zombie to contend with. But what do the Australian government hope to gain by this act of extreme censorship. Has this act successfully lowered the rate of chainsaw murders? Have fewer riot cops been smacked about with a frying pan then shot in the back? (Oh yes, that is actually my usual tactic >_< )
I took the liberty of doing a little research. Since releasing the censored version of Left 4 Dead, absolutely no real life zombies have been killed in Australia! Hurrah! Success!

Of course, when the real zombie apocalypse comes, we know which country will be woefully underprepared. I get the feeling they'll be the first to fall. :P

The point I'm trying to get across in all this?

I hate unnecessary censorship more than regular censorship. :(

How to ruin games and alienate people

2010-10-01T13:18:00.000+01:00

A couple of days ago Pete and I were watching the trailer for Dead Rising 2. What an awesome concept. A zombie survival game where anything and everything is a weapon. And just in case that gets boring, you can combine some of the weapons! Sellotape drills to baseball bats. Flamethrowers to nunchuks. Ok, I dunno the specific examples, but it's pretty much the ultimate zombie sandbox.

But I won't be buying it. It's not that I can't afford £30. It's not that I don't want to play the game and experience the awesomeness of online co-op play.

No, the reason I won't be buying this is... of course... because it uses Games For Windows Live.

Sigh.

See I own two other games that use Games For Windows Live. Batman: Arkham Asylum and Fuel.
I managed to play Batman three or four times before the GFWL broke and Fuel I only got to play once! I spent a good two days trying to get Fuel working again but to no avail. And I'm not the only one who has issues. And so I, and indeed Pete, simply can't buy games containing GFWL because they won't work.

Which begs the question... when making a game as clearly awesome as Batman or Dead Rising why the fuck do games companies feel the need to load it with buggy third party software that is required for the game to run? I could maybe understand if GFWL was optional. Or if there was a non-GFWL version of the game for sale.

But there isn't. And so I miss out on playing Dead Rising with Pete. And Capcom lose out on two sales.

Fail all round.

Look what we're missing.

Did you see him cleave that zombie in half! :O
*weeps*

Even criminals are getting stupider...

2010-09-30T12:46:00.000+01:00

Award for most fail robbery of 2010?

On Tuesday, the Natwest round the corner from where I work was having a delivery of cash from its security provider. the security guard was attacked with a hammer in an effort to steal the money from him. The men made their getaway in a car.

Security guard was fine. Shaken but completely uninjured.
Total value of money stolen... £0

¬¬

Idiots. How can you plan a robbery and fail to steal a single solitary thing? I know they say crime doesn't pay... but ffs.

I dunno what's scarier. That such a robbery happened in this pokey little town or that the criminals were so inept.

Droplitz

2010-09-24T00:00:00.000+01:00

Took a brief moment away from my clan duties on counterstrike to play some Droplitz.

I rock at Droplitz. Ranked 23rd of 2143 on the Good Samaritan board? I can deal with that. :)

So what else? I feel like I should be saying something, you know? Had one of those epicly busy days at work. Not often the boss lays down some cash to get an extra pair of hands on board so when we had two extra staff in today you can imagine what a day it was.

Oh and my folks brought me some yummy flavoured cigars back from Greece. Big phat Hannibal style ones. Already smoked my way through a vanilla. Was fucking awesome.

Seriously. Smoking is so underrated. Russia's got it right. Smoke, drink, be merry and help get the economy back on track.

Leave the panicking to India. ;) Seriously, will it be funny if they spend all this money on the games and no one turns up? O_o

Also, while I'm discussing the world. Wtf with the submachine gun rampage in Germany? Some woman shoots a cop, a doctor and a child? O_O The paper's over here didn't cover the full story so Ches, fill me in.

Mmm, what else?

Linkin Park. That's what else. So they brought a new album out, and they decided purposely to avoid their traditional formula. You know, the template driven, radio friendly 'nu-metal' that made them famous. As Chester put it, verse, pre chorus, chorus, verse, pre chorus, chorus, bridge, bridge, chorus, out.

Well... I kinda expected big things. You know, seeing as how Mike's other project, Fort Minor, are amazing. Turns out, not so good. :S

Here's hoping they return to their good old formula for the next album. It might be music by the numbers but it's what I like about them.

If it ain't broke...

News!

2010-09-12T13:12:00.000+01:00

Ok, sorry for not being here for a while...
Wait, why am I apologizing? You lot are never here anyway. :(

Ok, firstly, the crazy neighbour has been served with a harassment writ. She and her family basically have to completely avoid me and my family and our property. Forever. :D Hooray!

I'm also working on another video project for the Rooster clan which involves me having to learn how to use Sony Vegas. :o That's bound to be exciting.

I also bought VVVVVV which is a cute little video game in an old skool styley. It's quite difficult though and makes strange fluids leak from my brain.

I also revamped my Twitter page which I intend to try start using again.

Oh and I had a geekgasm over the Portal 2 trailer. Tell me this isn't awesome!

Another video!

2010-08-29T13:30:00.000+01:00

Whatcha doing Charon? Making another video. Or rather, I have finished making a second video. Here is the link. Watch it in HD full screen for maximum effect. I think I did a lot better this time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8K3MayPVlS4

I've also been writing a series of articles for the Radical Rooster clan but they are largely Counterstrike based and not of real interest to you guys. But it's time consuming, so that's what's keeping me busy. :P

No update on the mad neighbour yet. Police are slooooowww.

Crazy woman!

2010-08-25T12:24:00.000+01:00

Well, I have a few minutes before the police arrive to fill you in on the bizarre event that happened on monday!
I went out, nothing weird there, and returned to find my garden gate off its hinges and footprints all over my front door. Oh noes! Attempted burglary? How lucky am I to have a CCTV camera outside my house. I settled down with a spicy bean burger and watched back. Out comes my next door neighbour, a massive dog in tow. She screams and shouts and rips my gate off its hinges, throws it at the door and commences kicking.

Absolutely no idea why. I barely know the woman. Hopefully the police will help me shed some light on this matter. O_O

Youtube

2010-08-21T22:56:00.001+01:00

Video is now on youtube for your viewing pleasure! Best viewed full screen and in HD.

http://screenshot.xfire.com/s/102959444-4.jpg

OMG I'm so awesome! :P

2010-08-20T13:26:00.001+01:00

So I've been practicing using virtualdub to edit video with. Are you ready for this? :D

Please click the 'download now' button rather than watching directly from the page as the actual video file is vastly greater quality than the youtube style preview.

Download size is around 122MB... sorry. :(

http://www.4shared.com/video/Eo9RpNUU/CharonTrain.html

Let me know what you think!

Whatcha doing?

2010-08-19T04:17:00.001+01:00

The answer to that is so often, gaming.
As a rare treat I'm giving a teeny peek into my gaming habits with this short video of me kicking some ass on counter strike. Enjoy. :)

http://www.4shared.com/video/hIA7qHZo/charon1.html

Oh and if the video doesn't play, you're missing the divx codec. Google it.

It may even embed... let me test.

Yeah, looks better if you download it and watch in media player though.

Back? :O

2010-08-18T13:23:00.000+01:00

After some extreme amounts of hassle I now have a new modem that sorta works. Sadly it's even worse than my old one. I get very pissed off when ISPs use shoddy hardware. After all, I'm paying them to provide me with all the equipment needed to get online (bar the computer itself). They shouldn't be able to get away with using such poor products that I then have to use other equipment of my own just to make it work!

See the problem is, that the modem fails epicly at providing a wireless signal. Epicly. Normally I'd use my wireless repeater to boost the signal round the house but I can't, because the modem errors like hell even at point blank range, rendering its wireless functions useless. So, in the end, I had to disable the wireless on the modem. then take my repeater and reconfigure it to act as an access point instead. Plug the access point into the modem with a frigging wire!!! Just so that it can take over the modem's job of supplying wireless to the house.

All that and it's still a little jittery. :(

Internet dead

2010-08-07T12:06:00.000+01:00

I am temporarily without internet. My modem router is dead. I spent half an hour on phone to tech support pushing buttons on it and repeatedly confirming it's dead. Now I have to wait for a second department to call me back tomorrow to get me to push more buttons to confirm that it is, in fact, dead. Then and only then will my ISP be willing to entertain the fact that I was right all along and will ship me a new modem. I have no idea how long that will take them. I'm guessing over a week. In the meantime I have hijacked my brother's connection.
And people laugh at me for having two internet lines. :P Who's laughing now?!!

So I AM sorta here but sometimes might not be. :)

Success

2010-08-06T16:15:00.000+01:00

Well the practice I put in was worth it. Now a proud member of the Radical Rooster clan. ^^ Hooray! :D

Tuesday Music... for Winners!

2010-08-03T12:11:00.000+01:00

Well, last night's Alien Swarm session went better than expected. There were some minor, headcrab related hiccups. And a moment when our medic bit the dust, leaving me and Pete without ammo or health and facing hordes of aliens. Amazingly I managed to punch half of them to death while we ran round in circles like little girls. It was hilarious. There were also some minor flamethrower related injuries. ¬¬ Ches... ¬¬ HE SET ME ON FIRE! >_<

Ok let's have some music.... for winners!

We'll start with a classic winning tune. ^^

Survivior - Eye of the Tiger

The Team America Theme Tune! By Trey Parker I think.

And just because I haven't heard it for such a long time.

Reef - Place your Hands

Tonight those aliens are gonna get a kicking.

Sssshhh

2010-08-01T14:27:00.001+01:00

Hear that? It's the sound of dragons dying. :(

I've had a busy week, in part driven by two videogames.

Firstly, an honourable mention for Alien Swarm, released free on Steam last week. As you'd expect for a game Valve were involved with it's pretty badass. Essentially a top down version of Left 4 Dead... with aliens. It's pretty much what I wanted Alien Breed: Impact to be right from the word go. Four player co-operative alien slaughter. Pete and I have already tried it out, proving our legendary gaming credentials by managing to complete the first mission without even getting hit, despite there being only two of us. Sadly, by level 3 the alien swarms were indeed building up and we came to realise we weren't gonna progress much further 'til we get a third or even fourth man to join us. The problem is the role system. You need a technician as only he can work the panels to get you through the level. That's Pete. You need someone who can shoot the aliens. Special Weapons. That's me. Which leaves us short one medic. Hopefully Ches will take some time out from StarCraft 2 to be our designated healer.
I must say... for a free game... it's bloody good. O_O Integrated steam friends, stats, achievements, microphone support. Definitely worth the price. Did I mention it's free? :)

Secondly, Counter-strike Source. I've played counter-strike on and off since its release and made plenty of friends doing so. It's a game I only really played for fun for that reason. Now Valve have updated the newer Source version with achievements I finally decided to give it some attention. Worked out well. I've made a bunch of friends on the Radical Rooster server and have been invited to take part in the clan tryouts next week. If I wanna make it in I need to put in some serious practice. I'll keep you posted on how I do. :P Wish me luck!

So why was predator 2 so shit?

2010-07-29T14:43:00.000+01:00

You know... having the dubious pleasure of being able to watch Predator 2 again I am reminded just why it was so dire. I made my initial opinion with the mind of a child but any hope that I'd view it differently with the mind of an adult didn't last long. I mean... you can see what they intended. But what they intended and what we got, are two very different things.
Observe:

Well firstly... Danny Glover. I have nothing against Danny Glover. But we're coming fresh from a film that saw Ahnold go toe to toe with the Predator and only win because he managed to drop a huge log on the Predator's head. And I mean that literally, he didn't shit on him, he dropped a massive log crushing the Predator's unprotected skull. And even then the Predator was able to activate his self-destruct and laugh as Ahnold fled 'to da choppa!'. Danny Glover wouldn't stand a cat in hell's chance against the Predator. Hell, when Batman fought him (and remember Batman has tons of gadgets and was trained by mountain ninjas) he ended up in a coma for weeks. Ok so that was the comic books and not canon. But still.
Right from the start Danny Glover's character jars with me. His insane car stunt makes no sense. By rights he should have had his face shot off right there. His rulebreaking gets him repeatedly bollocked yet everyone seems to let him get away with it. Even when he enters Keye's trailer at the end Keyes puts up no resistance, letting him in on the whole story immediately. And why didn't the predator just fucking shoot glover in the initial rooftop scene? He's armed and aiming straight at him!
Which brings me on to the Predator's behaviour. What the fuck is he doing in the city? Why is he killing criminals from rival drug gangs, going so far as to target the leader of the Jamaican Voodoo Posse? It makes no sense. Which is why Ahnold refused to reprise his role as Dutch and why we got stuck with Glover. We see the Predator's code of honour again when he spots that Leona is pregnant on his thermal vision. We never find out what all that was about. Apparently it was cut from the film. O_O So why leave the pregnancy reveal in?
It gets worse! Just as things finally start to pick up and Keyes and his men try to trap the Predator by using body insulation and UV light we finally get to see the Predator's other vision modes. Great! Then we see him blast Keyes with his shoulder gun only for Keyes to get back up a short while later and take another shot at him! Now ok, we do know that the Predator cannon can stun as well as kill. It happened in the first film although we're not sure why. But here Predator is killing Keyes' men one by one. Why spare Keyes with a stun blast? Doesn't make sense.
We also see Glover cut off the Predator's arm after he initiates his self destruct which seems to completely nullify its effect. Why? Is the wrist device just a timer? Is the explosive within the body of the Predator itself?
Also, the Predator is clearly able to learn human speech and mimic it in context. In the first film we see him memorize Mac's line "Turn around" which he whispers in Dillon's ear as he's stood behind him. He also memorizes Billy's laugh which he performs after setting his self-destruct. In this film, he utters the line "Shit happens" showing a clear understanding of humour. If learning language is so easy for a Predator then why does this one only have a couple of phrases uttered by the immediate cast? He's been hunting presumably for some time. I forget exactly how long Keyes says they've been tracking him but it's long enough that he should have a bigger selection of language.
And what about the other Preds?! There's like ten more on the ship. What have they been up to this whole time? If there were ten predators in the city surely we would have heard about it.
And the ship!! Why does it have three inches of fog on the floor? In the film Alien that was explained. The alien eggs need cool temperatures and the ship they were on had a cooling system that maintained that floor mist. Surely that is not something the Predators would want! After all, there's an alien skull among their possessions. Clearly they are already hunting them. Giving them a perfect environment to live on on your own ship seems stupid.

Oh and also... why does the Predator save that guy's necklace, only to return it to Glover later? Is that supposed to be significant somehow?

Then there's the shooting. Predator is shot multiple times in the film. Pretty much every shot ricochets off his armour. Expect of course when Glover shoots him near the end, somehow hitting his soft underbelly with each shot. Now in Predator 1, the Pred is new to Earth so his lack of body armour is understandable. But why the second Predator seems to think he can wear chest armour and leave his abdomen exposed is bizarre. I mean, he knows about guns. Even the Predator in the first film recognised guns as a weapon and the second Predator can even differentiate between a real gun and a toy. He has a ship full of equipment. Why no full body armour?

And finally. The (sonic?) chakram. I'm guessing the lights on it and the sound it makes are meant to indicate it has some form of sonic technology. That would certainly explain how it cuts through a handful of animal corpses and the entire body of Gary Busey. But even then I'm struggling to see how Glover has the strength to nearly rend the Predator in twain near the end. Even with one arm the Predator should have dodged and then gutted Glover like a fish.

Oh and with regard to production values in general... Why the obvious green screen on the ship at the end?

Sigh. It was all just so... pants, really. That's the only word I think can fully describe how disappointing the film is. It's pants.

Teen Wolf

2010-07-28T12:00:00.000+01:00

Who remembers the film, Teen Wolf? I do. Or at least, I thought I did. I must admit that when I last saw Teen Wolf I was a child, it was the 80s, and I clearly wasn't paying enough attention. Those of us who haven't seen the film since we were children are seemingly out of the loop. Everyone knows but us. It's been all over the internet for some time! Even Family Guy have talked about it! Which is how my brother found out and passed the information on to me.
What information?
Well folks. It turns out that at the end of the film Teen Wolf, as our lycanthropy sufferer M J Fox goes to kiss his girl on the basketball court there is an extra in the background... with his cock out.
I know. You don't believe me, right? Well Pete got hold of a copy of Teen Wolf and we checked it out. It's there. For real.
Here are the 8 seconds in question as found on youtube which take place just after the kiss.

WHAT THE FUCK?

Tuesday Music

2010-07-27T10:29:00.002+01:00

One of the many things I hate about summer is how difficult I find it to sleep. I'm tired and kinda bored myself stupid reading about nihilism and the work of the Marquis de Sade. Oh and GG Allin. Probably not the greatest combination of morning reading. Methinks it be time for some videogames.
But, before I abscond. Let's have a sleep deprivation special edition of Tuesday Music! Yes that's right. My three favourite songs about not sleeping. Ready? :)

You'll have to excuse the advert which may or may not appear at the start of this one but I had to embed from Daily Motion as Sony have torn every copy of this video from Youtube, uploaded their own and then disabled embedding. The corporate bastards! Not impressed. Spinefarm leave their embeds on!
Anyways, I love this song. Insomnia by Faithless.

Faithless - Insomnia
Uploaded by djoik. - Music videos, artist interviews, concerts and more.

Well, can Youtube come up trumps for my second choice? It seems so! This track is by the Faders (who kinda faded into obscurity without even making a full album). One of them is the daughter of Midge Ure! Dunno which one though. Still. This is probably my favourite of the three songs I own by them.
No Sleep Tonight by The Faders

Ok, I admit it. The cute redhead Molly is the daughter of Midge Ure. :P

But of course I'm a metalhead at heart. And I must say, thank you Universal Music Group for leaving your videos with an embed code! Certainly making Sony look like miserable bastards today aren't we? :)
Enjoy the classic, Enter Sandman by Metallica.

Mmmm, metally.
See you tomorrow. ;)

Predator

2010-07-24T12:30:00.002+01:00

There's something of a generation gap between me and my brother. There's eleven years between us. He missed the 80s entirely. One of the main things about this gap though really manifests itself when we discuss films. Having the luxury of those extra eleven years, when the internet and even CDs didn't exist (well ok the internet 'existed' but nothing like now) I've seen films which I just assume he has too. You know, standard classics of our era, like Terminator. For further example, he only recently got round to watching GhostBusters. Yeah. There are people who haven't seen GhostBusters! As you can see, he has a lot of catching up to do.
Now, there is a third Predator movie. I think my Predator fanboyishness is well known so obviously I decided we would have to watch the first two predator films first, to get Pete up to speed. So last night we watched Predator.
I must say, it hasn't aged even remotely. It's still a fantastic example of how to make a film. the misleading story that sees Dutch and his team think they're entering the jungle to rescue hostages. The reveal that Dillon actually wanted to crush the rebel base and was just using Dutch and his boys. And of course then the grand finale... it's all irrelevant anyway as there is an invisible alien hunter in the jungle! Hooray! And the level of suspense around the Predator's identity is amazing. The layers slowly come away as the film progresses. From unseen threat that only Billy can sense, to 'invisible' monster, to unstealthed, dreadlocked, armoured and armed alien hunter, to the very final showdown where, after waiting and waiting and not realising it's just a mask... the Predator finally reveals *that* face.

And of course, for the real geeks, there's one more layer to come. The chopper pilot who rescues Dutch at the end? One Kevin Peter Hall. The guy who plays the Predator. ^^ Sadly he died of AIDS. Sucks.
(Well ok, he died of pneumonia, AIDS doesn't kill you.)

So, bearing in mind how iconic the first film was. How awesome the Predator was. All the awesome one liners! With all this... surely they can make a Predator film that doesn't suck now, right? Predator 3 will be what we always wanted from Predator 2?
I hope so because I read something that worried me and I wish I could remember where. I read that the Predators in the third film have been stripped of their code of honour, to be portrayed as hunters rather than warriors. I even saw someone dare suggest that the Predator's Code of Honour was just something thrown into the Alien Vs Predator franchise.
NO!
Predator's code of honour is there from the start, re-enforced by two specific moments in the film.
1. Dutch's revelation to Anna that the only reason the Predator hasn't killed her is because she's unarmed.
2. When the Predator has Dutch in his grip and examines his face then steps back and removes his mask to reveal his own for the final punch up.

I really hope they haven't ruined Predator again.

Keep firing, assholes!

2010-07-23T11:39:00.000+01:00

And if you can name the movie that quote is from... you get a dragon named after you. ^^

But yes, keep firing indeed. Two of my dragons have hatched. ^^ Aww ain't they cute? But we're not out of the woods yet people. The other eggs still need some... eggtention. ¬¬ And even those little baby dragons still need your help to grow wings. :)

Now, while I go to get my new PC joypad working, enjoy some random information.

A dragon with no front legs is a Wyvern.

Wingless dragons are more common over in China and Japan. Seems we Europeans preferred ours with wings. Some of those wingless ones can still fly though.

Even Slovenia has a dragon statue in its capital. In fact, it has four of them. They sit at the four corners of the Dragon bridge. How awesome is that?!

The internet.

2010-07-22T13:22:00.000+01:00

The dragon eggs are starting to crack. :)

Today I want to talk briefly about the internet. It gets a bad rep from time to time. The newspapers take every opportunity to make it seem like Facebook is full of paedophiles and, presumably, children. Unproficient users fear the dreaded 'virus' that can make their computer melt while simultaneously being the ones who forward endless amounts of spam to their friends on the basis of it being 'funny' or warning about spam. The irony. They're also the ones who tend to go hunting for antivirus software from less than reputable sources and in doing so, contract viruses.

But the internet is really a magical and wonderful place. Ok sure, there's B. But if you avoid B then it's a magical and wonderful place. Without the internet I likely wouldn't have friends in America, Canada, Holland, Germany, Italy, Portugal, Egypt, New Zealand and Australia and probably more places that I've forgotten. In fact I probably wouldn't know any of you.
Without the internet I wouldn't be able to order incredibly rare CDs from places such as Germany and Austria (thank you Amazon for making that possible).
Without the internet I wouldn't have the wealth of knowledge (accurate or otherwise) that places such as Wikipedia and IMDB provide. I *could* always go to the library and waste hours and hours looking stuff up. Or I could just type "Mongolian History into Wikipedia and discover in an instant that the Mongolian Empire was founded by Chinggis Khaan in 1206. I *could* go to Blockbuster video and look on the back of every film until I find one with Jason Statham in... or I could just type his name into IMDB and be presented with a chronological list of his every appearance.
Without the internet, the only contact I have with my folks in Greece is a voice conversation over the phone that costs more than it would to visit them. With the internet a live video chat is just a click away and free, thanks to Microsoft.
Without the internet, I'd still be stuck in musical limbo, listening to the same old CDs I've always known, waiting for a friend to play me a song to see if I like the band. With the internet Pandora (now US only) and Last.fm allow me to listen to music I've never heard before, based on the type of music I already like allowing me to broaden my musical horizons beyond my wildest dreams. the internet is literally the world at my fingertips and yes, that means both the good and the bad. It still has its fair share of racism and intolerance, ignorance and simple incorrectness, but no more than the real world. The 38'000 idiots who joined the Raoul Moat Facebook tribute page would still exist and still share that opinion whether the internet existed or not. Those same paedophiles would still be out prowling for children in a more traditional fashion. The internet has not made the world a worse place. Some might argue that it hasn't really made it any better. But it's certainly made it a lot easier, whether you're using it to stalk your next murder victim or simply to send a birthday gift to a foreign friend.
I think it's high time people stopped giving the internet a bad name or taking it for granted and respect it for the tool that it is. A hammer can be used to build or destroy (or even kill) but no one moans about how much nicer the world was before hammers!

So today I want you to think about all the good the internet has brought into your life. All the great things it's done for you. All the ways in which it has made your world better. Today is Love the Internet day.

Tuesday Music

2010-07-20T12:02:00.002+01:00

I hope you appreciate how much work went into this. It should be obvious when you see that these are not all youtube videos.

火曜日の音楽
Kayōbi no ongaku

Google reliably informs me that's Tuesday Music in Japanese! It's probably wrong but never mind.

So. The Japanese. Crazy huh? Yeah, it's true, they're a mad old bunch. But that doesn't hinder them in making rather beautiful music sometimes. Especially when they use odd mixes of Japanese and English lyrics. And so today is a Japanese special.

We'll start with two songs by Secret Ocean. I've spent the week setting the top scores on Audiosurf for these two songs and I love them. So much so I'll be buying the album.

This first one is aptly named "Beautiful".

Free music for professional licensing

This second one is called Kokoro no Furyoku which translates as The Buoyancy of a Heart.

Free music for professional licensing

Next one is a song my brother threw my way. It's the opening song to the absurdist anime Excel Saga. The title is Ai Chūseishin. I have no idea what it is or what it's about. Just enjoy the weirdness.

And then something a little upbeat. Heat of the Night by Aikawa Nanase (Or Nanase Aikawa depending on which way you prefer to Anglicize Japanese names. :P).

Don't forget to click the dragons.
Arigato!

Mindreading and dragons.

2010-07-18T16:11:00.000+01:00

I know what you're thinking. One or more of the three following things...

1. Where the fuck are you Charon?
2. Huh? Dragons?
3. Man I could go for a sandwich right about now.

Well I can't help you on the sandwich. You'll just have to make it yourself. But I suppose I can explain the other two.

Where am I? At work. I guess that should really be "Where have you been?" although then the answer is still "at work".
Ok let's say "Why haven't you been blogging?!".
Truth is, I needed a break. I've said before there's only so many times I can bust my balls off writing and be faced with a blank comments page. So I've been gaming. After all, my Audiosurf thrones won't defend themselves and Ches is hot on my heels trying to best my highscores. Not to mention Steam's epic summer sale which saw me pick up a few new titles to occupy me.

And that brings me on nicely to... dragons! You may have noticed that in the top left corner of the blog are dragon eggs. Dragon eggs that will eventually hatch into dragons. Dragons that need your help to hatch. :) And you're already helping, whether you want to or not. Simply loading this page means you've helped that little dragon survive. But if you'd rather they hatch than die completely all you have to do is give that egg a click, once per day, no more, no less.

I think you can guess how this game works. I need incentive to blog, you don't fancy leaving comments. Dragons are the glue. If you like my post, all you have to do is click a dragon egg. Your work is then done and I will know you're paying attention as my dragons grow. :) The cycle of life in all its self-perpetuating glory.
It's so exciting. :P

Tuesday music

2010-06-23T14:27:00.000+01:00

Yeah I know it's Wednesday. Let's have some music to get me over having to work Tuesday night/wednesday morning with barely 4 hours sleep in between. Something groovy for this sunny weather?

Sweating Bullets by Megadeth

Sabbra Cadabra by Metallica

Have You Been Around? by Hardcore Superstar

Tuesday Fucking Music

2010-06-15T11:19:00.000+01:00

Right. I'm fed up with my boss taking off more holiday allowance than us grunts get for the whole year in just two months! I'm fed up of covering extra hours.
Let's make some noise!

Rollins Band - Liar

Tool - Hooker With a Penis

And the official video from the latest Kiuas album. One band who isn't afraid to put their work on Youtube, themselves.

Kiuas - Of Love, Lust and Human Nature

And to wind down, I found a version of Robotboy by Robyn. Still can't find any moving videos or lyrics style ones for it though. :S

Tuesday Music

2010-06-01T22:30:00.000+01:00

And no sooner do I revive Tuesday Music than I have to work on a Tuesday.

To start with ~~Robotboy by Robyn~~
Nope. Youtube doesn't have the proper version.

Bad Reputation by Joan Jett.

Evolution (The Grand Design) by Symphony X

Survival of the Sickest by Saliva

Ah that's better. I feel more relaxed.

The Earth... it's alive!

2010-05-31T14:10:00.000+01:00

May I direct your attention to www.breathingearth.net
It's pretty straightforward so I doubt I need to waste time explaining what you're looking at there. It is strangely hypnotic though, watching the population rise and taking a look at how specific countries are doing. Check out Burundi's falling CO2 emmissions, or Russia's falling population. :o Awesome stuff huh?

Tuesday Music

2010-05-25T11:17:00.000+01:00

Returns, sporadically. Today we have a comedy special. See, music and comedy go hand in hand. Provided of course it's done correctly. Here are some people doing it correctly.

Garfunkel and Oates - Fuck You.
These girls are classic. Really. I hope they do a lot more. Check out their other songs when you have time.

College Humour - We Didn't Start The Flame War.
They won't let this video be embedded from Youtube, although they have an embed and download link on their own site. :S Fucktards. Just trying to be awkward. Hope this works then.

Flight of the Conchords - If You're Into It

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio

2010-05-20T16:17:00.002+01:00

Earlier this week we lost a legend. Ronnie James Dio died of stomach cancer aged 67. His music career spanned 53 years, starting when he was just 15. He sang for Rainbow. He replaced Ozzy Osbourne as the lead vocalist in Black Sabbath. He wrote and sang for his own band, Dio. He is credited with popularizing the 'devil horns' symbol thrown by metalheads worldwide. He appeared in the film "The Pick of Destiny" with Tenacious D, playing of course, Himself. His lyrics were fantasy based and often metaphysical which, coupled with his unique voice, made him an incredibly popular singer/songwriter. As tribute, here are three of my favourite Dio songs.

One More For the Road

One More for The Road has that groovy little tune that propels it forward at a pace best described as classicly rock. It was an instant favourite when I heard it and still always gets me smiling and singing along.

Master of the Moon

Sadly the live version of this is hopelessly out of sync. A seemingly common problem on Youtube these days. The above is a fan made video using clips from the videogame Final Fantasy VIII. I love Master of the Moon. It's classic Dio. Wonderfully powerful, amazing lyrics and a strong message about not letting people try to change you? That's my interpretation. Stay true to yourself.

The Man Who Would Be King

Found one with (slightly inaccurate) lyrics again here. I don't know exactly what it is about this song that mystifies me so. There's the war theme on the surface, conquering. There's the whole 'father' thing that makes the core of this about betrayal but also the line "Is the Devil just the man who would be king?" that hints at something deeper, darker. But there's also the fact that there is a Rudyard Kipling story of the same name which in turn is based on the true story of James Brooke, an Englishman who became the first white ruler of Borneo.

So if you're going out this weekend, raise a glass to the man who inspired me and many others. Then have one more for the road.

R.I.P. Dio. We'll miss you.

Bytesize 1.2

2010-05-10T18:33:00.000+01:00

I know it's been over a week. Sorry. This is harder than it probably looks.

Bytesize 1.2

It didn't take long for Gaston to drag them along the lightspeed hop to the nearest inhabited system. Kheiros. It was a small dead end system. Only three planets in orbit around the Kheiros star and only two of those were inhabitable, one just barely. But Kheiros 2 was still a busy place and both Kheiros 2 and 3 had orbital docking stations, huge constructs that served as an extension of the planet. As they neared Kheiros 2 Gaston turned off the traction beam and Daizy fired up her ship's sublight engines. A transmission request light blinked on one of the displays and Daizy allowed it. A computerized voice spoke:
"Now approaching Orbital Docking Station K2-Beta. Please identify."
"Captain Daizy Byrne. Ship ID 7943261 alpha. Requesting docking permission for indeterminate stay pending repairs."
"Accepted. Please initiate docking procedure for docking bay H2."
Daizy hit a few buttons on the autopilot controls then watched it to make sure it was actually going to dock with the station and not attempt to fly straight through it. Thankfully it worked without a hitch, positioning her outside dock H2 so the station's traction beam could pull her into the docking bay. As the station slowly swallowed up Daizy's ship she couldn't help but notice Gaston's ship heading into a similar docking position nearby.

A few minutes later she managed to track down Jules. He was stuffing two oil-soaked towels into the laundry unit.
"I have to get round to fixing the shower units." he said. "I think I'll bump it up the 'to do' list once we have new engines. Oh that reminds me."
He looked pleadingly at Daizy and made a mock begging gesture.
"Puleeeeeaazze can I have fifty creds?"
Daizy didn't even need to ask what for. There was only one thing Jules enjoyed spending money on and that was the ever-thriving sex industry. Still, she couldn't blame him. He was Gromularian after all and it wasn't like he ever asked for money for anything else. They gripped left hands and Daizy transferred him fifty credits. Jules grinned.
"That's me taken care of." He handed her a piece of paper. "That's the engine model we need and the new scanning unit for Zeke. Say hi to Gaston for me." He made on obscene hand gesture and Daizy smiled.
"I'll pass that on. See you later."
She watched him scamper off eagerly and then looked down at the paper. At least both her ship and Zeke used fairly common parts. That would make things easy. Speaking of Zeke... She tried the comms a few times with no success and then went looking for him. He was 'asleep' in his sync pod. Zeke was a self powered model so didn't need to recharge but the sync pod allowed him to update his knowledge files from and also send information to the central database.
"Zeke."
"Yes Daizy."
"Come with me."
She waited while he disconnected and then led him off to the airlock. The station's docking bays were pressurized so she simply opened the door and stepped out. The ramp had already been extended by Jules as he made his mad dash for depravity and there, stood at the bottom of it with his entourage, was Gaston. Daizy marched down the ramp.
"If you're waiting for me to fling myself at you in gratitude you have a looooong wait." she said.
"I am merely being courteous." said Gaston, failing to conceal a smirk. "I fancied a leetle shopping myself, while I am here. My robot needs a polish."
He gestured to the black behemoth standing nearby. It was everything Zeke wasn't. Sleek, sexy, jet black, gleaming green lights for eyes. Its joints looked like they would be far more fluid than Zeke's. All in all, it looked like it knew how to kick ass.
"Yeah right." said Daizy. "I'm warning you Gaston. Stay the fuck away from my ship."
"Like I would be interested in 'La Poubelle des Étoiles'." He said dismissively. That was Gaston's favourite joke. Mocking her ship's name, 'Belle of the Stars'.
"Zeke, security protocol four." said Daizy and watched as Zeke took up his position in front of the airlock and detached his zap rifle from his back, gripping it in both hands.
"I know you Gaston." she continued. "You'd just love the chance to poke around Belle for clues about Talus."
"Dai-zee please. You are no closer to finding Talus than me. You have... no clues." he smirked. "And now no enzheene." he said, "Tomorrow I will continue zee search with my ship full of supplies once more."
Daizy knew what he was implying. After buying the engine she and Jules would be poor once more and that meant abandoning the search for Talus temporarily to make some cash. Daizy passed on Jules' obscene hand gesture and waltzed past Gaston and into the space station.

Bytesize 1.1

2010-05-02T16:46:00.001+01:00

I dunno. It just kinda popped into my head. Honestly, I have only a vague plot so far but I'm working on it. So updates might be a little slow while I figure out where the story's going and how it's gonna get there. For now, here's the first byte.

Bytesize 1.1

Daizy stared out into space. Or rather she stared at the vidscreen showing the view outside of the ship which was the aforementioned space. She was beginning to hate the sight of space because, once the inital excitement had subsided, space was, in fact, fucking boring. It had been incredibly exciting two years ago, when she'd first bought this spaceship and left the miserable planet of Exerion Prime for the first time. But after two years of blundering through space it had become dull. It wasn't just the bleakness of the everlasting blackness that filled the vidscreen. There was also the fact that she shouldn't be seeing space. Or at least, not at this speed. She moved over to the comm unit and pressed the transmit button.
"Jules, we're out of lightspeed. What's going on?"
There was a long pause filled with static and then Jules' not so deep voice over the comm.
"The lightspeed engines are fucked!"
"That's not what I want to hear Jules. You're my engineer. Work on it. I'll comm you back in ten minutes and I want to hear good news."
She left the comm and flicked on the ship's autopilot. Under the power of the sublight engines it was more than capable of making sure they didn't hit anything. The ship though, was falling apart.
Daizy thought back to those early days working on the salvage yard and one day in particular that had set her out on this crazy path. A new ship had been towed in for salvage and as always she'd checked it over. There was nothing of any real interest until she found a hidden compartment beneath the captain's seat holding an ancient bottle of some spirit. A droid scan had revealed it to be whisky; not only that but a whisky of incredible rarity. She'd checked the flight recorder next and found the last entry pretty cryptic. All it consisted of was the Captain saying "Find Talus." and holding the whisky bottle up to the screen. There was also a set of co-ordinates that were incomplete, missing the reference star that would render them viable. She'd wiped that last entry and took the whisky bottle. That was what got her here. Quitting her job, selling the whisky, buying this heap of junk under the impression it would last far longer than it did. Truth was, she'd been taken for a fool. She got a fair price for the whisky but not for the ship. The lightspeed engines had been on their last legs two years ago and now Jules had his hands full just keeping them running.
Jules.
She buzzed the comm.
"Jules. Make me happy."
"The lightspeed engines are fucked!" said Jules once more.
Daizy sighed and tried the comms again.
"Zeke?"
Another long pause. More static. Even the comms were on their last legs. Finally a robotic voice came back to her.
"Voice pattern Daizy: Yes Daizy?"
"Zeke, meet me in the engine room."
"Affirmation: Yes Daizy."
Zeke came with the ship. He wasn't the best droid around. A little slow if Daizy was honest, which she almost always was. But he had his uses. He was humanoid in design and bipedal and she'd grown fond of him, even if his verbalisation module was somewhat screwed. She checked the autopilot once more to make sure it really was engaged then made her way to the engine room.
The scene when she got there was bizarre. Jules was half wedged in some machinery, just his wiggling legs visible, making intermittent clanking noises and swearing profusely while Zeke stood by repeating "Unknown protocol" in his same robotic monotone.
"Zeke, engine status." she said.
"Engine status is 'fucked'." mumbled Jules from inside the machinery.
"Scanning." said Zeke.
Daizy waited. Minutes passed, Jules cursed.
"Zeke?"
"Scanning." said Zeke.
"I think he needs a new scanning unit." said Jules.
"Scanning."
"Zeke for fuck's sake..."
"Engine status: Unrepairable."
"He said that last time." said Jules, clambering out from the mass of pipes. "This time though, I'm inclined to agree with him. We need a new lightspeed engine Daizy. Until then, sublight is all we've got."
"That's gonna cost most of our money." she sighed. "Zeke, how far to the nearest hospitable planet?"
"Scanning."
"Too far." said Jules. "I already checked. We're sitting dry out here."
"Then we're going to need a tow." Daizy bit her lip, "I'll contact Gast..."
"Don't say it!" yelled Jules."
"...on." said Daizy.
"Dammit!"
"Like it or not, Gaston's our only chance." said Daizy. "I don't know anyone else with a ship big enough to tow us. If you know otherwise Jules..."
"Nearest hospitable planet is Alph..."
"Forget it Zeke." said Daizy. She looked over at Jules. He was filthy, covered in engine oil and sweat. His dark black hair squashed from its usual spikey form into a tangled mass on his head. He was Gromularian which was basically a four foot high humanoid and Daizy's old friend from the salvage yard. She'd let him in on her plan from the start, knowing she'd need his skills if she was ever to find Talus.
"Clean yourself up Jules. I'll go see if I can get the long range comms online long enough to reach Gaston."
Jules threw a mocking salute.
"Aye aye, cap'n."

Back in the captain's chair Daizy tapped away at a computer keypad until the long range comms finally located Gaston's Ident signal. She paused, then decided there really was no other option and hit 'call'. It didn't take long for Gaston to answer and his image came up on the vidscreen. Gaston. Like the vast majority of races in the universe he too was humanoid though with some notable differences. The off-yellow skin for one and a third eye upon his forehead. All three eyes were insect-like compound structures. He smiled when he saw Daizy.
"Ah Dai-zee. To what do I owe ze pleasure?" he asked in his inexplicably French accent that always emphasized both syllables of her name.
"I need your help Gaston." said Daizy, "Our lightspeed engine conked out and we're stranded. Any chance of a tow?"
Gaston raised an eyebrow and she could see the metaphorical glint in his eyes.
"Sweet Dai-zee. I am a very bee-zee man. I would be sacrificing my other obligations..."
"I'll pay you Gaston."
"Four hundred credits." said Gaston, smiling.
"Two fifty." said Daizy, "I have a new engine to buy Gaston. Cut me a break."
"Fine, fine." said Gaston, waving a hand dismissively.
"Thanks. I'll send you our co-ordinates."
"Ah one more thing miss Dai-zee. As much as I trust in our long standing friendship... I must ask for ze credits up front."
"Yeah, sure."
Daizy slammed her left hand down on the palm scanner and transferred two hundred and fifty credits from her biochip into Gaston's account. The transaction must have been successful because Gaston grinned and nodded at the vidscreen.
"Merci. I shall be with you presently."
Daizy killed the vidscreen. Stupid slimy frenk. She hated dealing with Gaston. He took every opportunity to keep a close eye on Daizy for one simple reason. Talus. It had taken her the better part of the first year to discover exactly what Talus was. Back in the early days there had been a planet called Earth on the brink of ecological collapse. The humans living there had done the most logical thing they could do. They had escaped to the nearby planet of Mars. But the newly terraformed Mars didn't have all the resources Earth did and so they left behind a basic colony to produce the goods that they couldn't on Mars until there was nothing left on Earth to use. The last ship to leave Earth was a massive cargo ship called Talus. Legend had it that something went wrong as Talus neared Mars and instead of penetrating the planet's atmosphere the cargo ship was instead slingshotted out into deep space. And that was the last anyone ever saw of Talus. Millennia passed, the neo-Martians colonised other planets, met and interbred with other sentient races and eventually Talus' existence was forgotten. Or almost forgotten. Rumours of it still existed, that treasure trove of ancient Earth artefacts presumably still out there somewhere. But there'd never been any proof of its existence. At least not until Daizy had found the whisky. That was the proof that Talus not only existed but had been found by the ship's captain. At the time Daizy hadn't known it, but selling the bottle of whisky had confirmed the rumour and now many spacefarers hoped to make their fortunes by finding Talus. The search was on once more. And both Daizy and Gaston spent their days trying to find it.
Daizy took one last look at the autopilot, just to be sure, then made her way down to the shower cubicles.

The ship had three shower cubicles although at any given time only one of them would be working. She managed to find the working one on her second try and stood under the lukewarm water. Finding Talus would make her rich and save her having to take on odd jobs just to make ends meet. All she had to do was find it and beat Gaston and countless others to it. And speaking of odd jobs, they were going to have to find something to do to earn some more cash now they had the engines to replace. That probably meant a cargo run. She finished her shower and dried herself off then checked herself out in the mirror. She ran a comb through her bright blue hair that hung midway down her back. She'd inherited that from her father and her pale skin from her mother. Mixed race, half-Exerian, half-Talimarian. Could have been a worse mix. At least she had the standard number of limbs, heads and eyes, which unlike Gaston's were also humanoid in nature if a pale yellow colour. As if he could sense her undressed state the incoming comm signal sounded and she knew Gaston had arrived even before she pressed the button and heard his voice.
"It eez I, cherie. Gaston, your rescuer."

Puzzles

2010-04-28T17:17:00.001+01:00

One part of my week that I look forward to is when my Dad gets the latest TV guide. Not because I ever look at it, or watch much TV, no. But he likes to do the puzzles. Puzzles that take the form of a crossword. Once the crossword is complete you take the letters from the highlighted squares and rearrange them to answer one final clue. And invariably he comes to me seeking the last couple of missing letters he needs, or to solve the anagram because, not only am I good at anagrams but I invariably soak up information without realising it (such as knowing Nina Wadia plays a character in Eastenders. I've never watched the show, but I know her name and knew it fitted the letter pattern available). It's just a shame it tends to be over too quickly. Today's went a little like this.

Me: Nina Wadia. Your last letter's an A.
Dad: Ok so we have sixteen letters. It's a Tv presenter, 7, 9.
(He shows me the letters)
(Two seconds pass)
Me: Claudia Winkleman.
Dad: Well done!

Sometimes it's nice to be useful, even in a useless way. You know?

Reading

2010-04-27T14:40:00.000+01:00

So having finished Ed's story I took a little break to catch up on some reading. Oh sure my xfire profile will tell you that I also did some heavy hours on Counterstrike (ranked 3rd on the server out of over 1500 :P) but I have been reading my socks off.
I started with "Colony" by Rob Grant. Been meaning to read that for a while. It was amusing and quirky, as expected from Red Dwarf's co-creator. A little short though and the ending... Weeeeelllll. I'm left wondering if I interpreted his intention correctly. :P You can never tell.

And then I began reading the Complete Sherlock Holmes. :D I can't remember when I bought it but it's another one I've been meaning to read like forever. I think I was probably cajoled into picking it up by having seen the new film recently. That was worth a look by the way. Much better than I expected for a Guy Ritchie offering. The book is simply a collection of all the stories as they were published in The Strand magazine. The thing it that stands out is just how short they are. Some of these early mysteries are over in no time at all and yet still there's a fair bit packed into though, most of it of course simply based around Holmes's unerring logic.

And then I read Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green and David Levithan. It's a great premise for a book. Two people, both called Will Grayson, each one written by one of the authors. The Wills don't know each other at the start of the book but near the middle they meet. It's pretty good, both writers have managed to create distinctly different Will Graysons and a small supporting cast. All in all, it's bloody good. And John Green is awesome. Which is why I also started reading another book of his called "An Abundance of Katherines".

But then I got annoyed with myself for not being able to write as well as Rob Grant, Conan Doyle or John Green. And that of course just make me determined to make sure the next project is even better. It occurred to me that that really means leaving Ed behind. It's a shame, and maybe he'll return some time. But I think I'm done with Ed for now. As for what's coming and when, I don't know. I get the feeling an idea is brewing at the back of my mind but I'm not allowed to peek yet. But I can feel it there. When it's ready, I'll get right on it.

Bitemarks - Epilogue

2010-04-22T13:24:00.001+01:00

Bitemarks - Epilogue

Ed pulled over his car at the side of the road and got out. This was it. This was the address. The house was pretty nondescript. A semi-detached property in a reasonably quiet leafy street. A far cry from his own urban terraced pad. He climbed out of the car and pushed open the gate but before he could approach the door it opened. And there she stood. The first time he'd ever seen Katia outside of work. He didn't know what he expected but it sure wasn't slashed blue denim jeans and a Poleaxe T-shirt. Sure they were going to see the band perform but still it took him by surprise.
"You're late." she said, cocking her head to one side as if awaiting an excuse.
"My satnav is useless." he said, and it was. "Thanks, you know, for coming with me. Only Tony said if I went alone he was going to announce on stage that I was gay and single..."
She laughed at that.
"That's ok. I'm a big fan after all. How could I resist backstage tickets?"
"I didn't even think you liked metal."
"There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Ed. You should learn to ask questions."
"Such as?"
"Such as whether their current drummer was anywhere near as good as their original one."
She poked her tongue out at his lack of response and made for the car. Ed shook his head and followed her.

--------------------

The gig itself was every bit as phenomenal as he expected. Poleaxe put on one hell of a show, mixing their set up by alternating between material from the new album and their old classics. And as promised they blasted through the New Year's Eve countdown with "Atomic Bomb" finishing to thunderous applause and yelling and screaming from the mass of fans. Ed genuinely enjoyed himself and from the looks of things so too did Katia. And when the gig was over and the fans began to drift out towards the bar to grab 'one for the road' and let their hearing return Ed and Katia made for the backstage area, flashing their passes at the burly security guards. Sure enough Tony was waiting for them.
"Ed! You dirty little fucker. Was that awesome or what?"
He was still wide-eyed, buzzing from the adrenaline and sweating like a pig.
"Yeah." smiled Ed, "Pretty hardcore."
"Like the filthiest German porn." agreed Tony. "And who's this stunning piece lurking behind you? Alright sweetheart?"
He offered a sweaty hand and Katia shook it.
"Katia. Ed and I work together."
"Oh fucking aye. 'Work together' is it?" He leered and winked at Ed, "So you're from that place? What was it again Ed, fucking catering or some shit?"
Katia nodded.
"Worthington catering yeah."
Tony shook his head.
"Such a shame. fucker had so much promise too." he slapped Ed on the back. "Well let's not stand around back here like some old fucking grannies, eh?"
He turned and led them to a function room where the rest of the band were lounging around on battered old sofas and swigging beer. Ed was warmly greeted by his ex bandmates and Tony tossed him a beer from a cooler.
"And for the lady?" asked Tony.
"Beer's fine thanks."
He threw her one, purposely fast but she snatched it from the air regardless.
"Girl's got reflexes." he chuckled, plomping himself down on one of the sofas. "Oy Derek, skin up a phat one for our guests."
Derek groaned.
"Colin can do it man, my hands are killing me."
Colin set to rolling an overly large cannabis joint as the others slurped their beer. Ed took it upon himself to introduce Katia to the other band members.
"Tony, you met. That's Derek, bass guitarist. Colin, vocals. Gary, second guitar. And Tobias, drums."
Tobias nodded.
"Guys keep telling me how good you were, Ed. I gotta admit, you were better than I am."
"Enough of that soppy shit." interrupted Tony, "We wouldn't have you if you weren't at least decent. What did you two fuckers think of the set anyway?"
"You kicked ass." said Katia, "Loved every minute of it. Why did you open with Death Mask though? Bit slow to kick things off. I was expecting maybe Hammerblow or Guns of Fire."
"A true fan." said Tony impressed, "It was that useless cunt, Derek's idea."
"Oy bellend!" shouted Derek, throwing his empty beer can at Tony who ducked, giggling.
"Nah we love him really, silly little fucker. Keeps us amused. So tell us, you two dating or what?"
Ed was about to protest when Katia snuck an arm beneath his.
"He doesn't know it yet, but this was our first date."
"Fucking ay." said Tony, "Guess you're not a queer after all, Ed. Shame, Derek was eyeing you up."
Derek looked around for something to throw at Tony but couldn't find anything so he resorted to a put down.
"Yeah, just you single now, eh Tony?"
"All the better for ease of groupie access." Tony shot back without a pause. He tapped his head twice then pointed a finger at Derek. "Mind like a fucking razor blade, son."
Derek sighed.
"And a mouth like a Romanian hooker." he tried.
Tony laughed, standing up and grabbing his crotch.
"Poosey for sale bayby." he mocked, gyrating.
"Now you see why I left." said Ed. Katia nodded.
"Yeah, they're far too mature for you."
"Oooh zing!" yelled Tony, flopping back down. "I like her Ed. You too should have little chef babies or some shit."
Ed didn't even know what to say.
"Silence says it all." said Tony, making whipcrack motions with his hand and sound effects with his mouth.
Ed sighed.
"You just can't win against him." he said to Katia, "He's got an answer for everything."
"He doesn't even need the fucking questions." said Colin, "Never shuts up for a second."
"Gotta make up for his tiny dick somehow." said Katia.
Tony's mouth opened wide.
"Oh, it's like that is it!"
Ed burst out laughing.
"Think that's the first time I've ever seen him stumped."
Katia squeezed his hand and sank back into the couch.
"We should have done this ages ago..."

---------------------------------

THE END

Bitemarks 5.7

2010-04-19T17:47:00.000+01:00

Bitemarks 5.7

Ed didn't realised he'd passed out, or whether he was really conscious. The sky was black and the stars twinkled, vanishing entirely every time he blinked. Somewhere around him he could hear the soldiers moving around. He caught the faint voice of General Tober.
"That kid's got balls. Stevens, see what you can do for him."
A soldier's face loomed over him. He spoke to Ed and snapped his fingers to the left and right. Ed's eyes lazily followed them.
"He's dazed sir. And fatigued." said Stevens, "Don't think he's concussed though." He looked down at Ed again. "I'm gonna reseat your jaw. This is gonna hurt, try not to flinch."
Ed nodded, as best he could, and braced himself. Stevens clicked his jaw back into place and he'd been right, it hurt. Ed winced but managed to restrain the urge to flinch or yell. Stevens offered him a hand and pulled him up into a sitting position. Ed put a hand gently on his chin.
"That feels funny." he managed.
"You're gonna need medical attention and some painkillers." said Stevens, "Get that jaw looked at."
Now that Ed was sat up he could see General Tober, Alf and the other soldiers and the body of Skarletta, her head a few feet away.
"My men are shutting that radar terminal down." said Tober.
Alf shook his head.
"It may be too late for that." he pointed at the broken device on Skarletta's back. "Even if she was only transmitting for a few seconds..."
"How will we know?" asked Tober.
"We won't." said Alf, "Not until they arrive. We have to assume she was successful."
"A whole race of those things?"
"Perhaps." said Alf, "Maybe they died out long ago. Maybe they're so far away we'll have died out before they arrive. Or maybe we're in big big trouble."
"They could annihilate us." said Tober.
"No." said Ed, still nursing his jaw. "They don't want to kill us."
Tober looked confused.
Ed looked down at his free hand, still devoid of fingerprints from the acid.
"Every human has a unique fingerprint." he mused, "A great way of keeping track."
"What are you saying, Ed?" asked Alf.
Ed stood up.
"It's all too convenient. Our blood sustains them. They can pass on a portion of their strength, making weaker copies of themselves? All the better to keep the cattle in line. Livestock, all uniquely branded. They don't want to kill us. They want to control us."
"Why?" said Tober. "Why would they need us?"
"I don't know." said Ed, "But my guess would be that they're an old, dying race, technologically advanced, practically immortal but unable to breed. Maybe they created us, maybe they put us on this planet, who knows. But without them here to enslave us, control us, we overbred, became independent, developed our own technology. They left us here so long we evolved."
Alf snapped his fingers.
"The AB blood type!"
Ed nodded gently.
"But then why didn't it react with Beaclair's blood?"
"'Cos Beauclair was still essentially human. The mother was the only alien. The others were merely granted a taste of the master's power to keep everyone else in line. I guess whatever plan they had for us was put on hold when the Mother was buried in the ice."
The long wail of a siren signalled the arrival of Ed's ambulance.
"So what now?" said Tober.
"Well General", said Alf, "My 'boy' here is going to take a well earned rest while the rest of my field team finds the spawn this thing left behind."
"There's more of them?"
"Weaker ones, we hope. We'll have to work together to take them down while my scientists learn what they can from the alien's body."
"Your scientitsts?" said Tober, "This is a military situation."
"General please. We have diagnostic equipment that doesn't even exist until we announce it. Right now you and I need to prepare for an invasion that might never come..."

Bitemarks 5.6

2010-04-17T23:02:00.001+01:00

Bitemarks 5.6

Skarletta hadn't been idle. The terminal computer would require too much work to have it send a message directly, but forcing it to echo an existing signal would be easier. Building a transmitter was child's play for her, even with such primitive components and tools. All it took were a few modifications to the main radar terminal to point the dish at the nearest satellite, a little coding to rewrite the computer's behaviour and a little soldering to make the computer components work the way she wanted. When she was finished she had a motherboard with three pci cards plugged into it, all powered by the cmos battery. It wouldn't work for very long at all. In fact, once the battery was in place her 'transmitter' would be able to transmit her signal for all of thirty seconds, more than long enough for the radar dish to detect it and echo the signal up to the satellite which in turn would send it on through space. All she had to do was step outside, push the battery in place and ensure the device remained transmitting for those thirty seconds. She still needed to take some precautions though. Although she could withstand a thirty second barrage of automatic weapons fire the fragile transmitter could not.
She lit the welding torch and gathered all the side panels from the PC towers she'd brought with her and those inside the radar hub and welded them together into one solid plate. Then she welded the motherboard mounts onto the plate and finally screwed the motherboard into place on the mounts. She took the last of the wires she had and strapped the contraption to her back. As long as she faced the enemy at all times any bullets that hit her would hit the plates next. It certainly wasn't flawless but hopefully it wouldn't matter. She didn't even need the full thirty seconds anyway. The signal would repeat six times over in that time frame so really, five seconds would be enough, ten to make absolutely certain. The Dherroine may well finish her tonight but their death warrant had been all but signed...
Skarletta picked up the dead cop by his head and drank down the last of the blood in his system then unbolted the door to the bunker, pushed the cmos battery into into place, kicked the door free of its housing and stepped out...

----------------------------------------------

Ed's heart pounded. He'd had plenty of time to dwell on the fear in the helicopter. His mind replayed a scene from his past in his head. His first ever live gig with Poleaxe. The fear had gripped him then, backstage. He'd let it overpower him and his hands still shook as he walked to his drumkit. His timing was awful. His feet missed beats, his hands double tapped cymbals. He was a mess throughout the first song. As that opening number finished the vocalist had begun shouting at the crowd to get them cheering and Tony had come storming over to Ed and shouted at him.
"Sort your shit out cunt! I know you're bricking it, we all are. But this isn't the time for fear man. This just isn't the time!"
That thought echoed through him.
This just isn't the time for fear.
Ed felt the microsyringe in his left hand. Adrenaline. The drug that gave the body its 'fight or flight' response. Ed knew which option he had to choose. This just wasn't the time for fear.
He looked ahead of him, at the shadowy figure of Skarletta that he was rapidly nearing. He heard soldiers somewhere nearby let off a volley of gunfire and the General's voice yelling at them to hold their fire. Ed jabbed the microsyringe into his leg and his whole world slowed to a standstill as the adrenaline blasted through his system. His right foot thumped into the floor and he lifted off again. The sounds of the automatic rifles slowed to distant thundering cannons. Somewhere ahead of him he saw the shock on Skarletta's face as she recognised him.

--------------------

Skarletta looked in astonishment as Ed drew closer. Twelve, thirteen. She counted in her head. It was him. That Dherroine with the bizarre weapon and the foul tasting blood. He had the look of a man prepared to die and she smelt no fear upon him. Only confidence. Determination. Fifteen. That was three repetitions. More than enough. Time to remove his head from his shoulders.

----------------------

Ed saw her leap. Saw her sail through the air almost gracefully, extending her right foot. He felt his left leg shift as it hit the floor. Felt his right hammer into the ground after it and push him aside. He could feel the whistle as her foot sailed past his right ear, missing him by millimetres. He tumbled forward, bringing his right arm upward. His elbow struck the floor and he rolled along the curve of his spine, twisting himself as he landed on his feet, facing the other way only to see her doing the same. A bullet struck her face, entering through one cheek and out the other but she didn't flinch. Somewhere in the back of his mind Ed became aware of a slow drumbeat growing louder and louder.
Thump
Thud
Thump
Thud
It was his heartbeat, he realised. And to that slow rhythm Skarletta ran toward him.
Thump.
Ed stood up.
Thud.
She was right there in front of him.
Thump.
He raised the crossbow and she pulled back a fist.
Thud.
Ed fired. Skarletta's punch connected. He'd tried to move, to dodge the incoming blow, but still it glanced off his chin. His world went topsy turvy as ground became sky, sky became ground and his vision exploded in a sea of red pain. The sound of his jaw cracking was like a thunderclap to his ears.
Thump.
Thump.
That second thump was not his heart but his skull hitting the floor. Air burst from his lungs. If he hadn't hit her then any second now his life would reach its conclusion. Coughing he pushed himself back onto his feet and wiped the tears from his eyes and blinked until his vision returned.
Thump.
Thud.
She was still standing. She pulled back her fist again. There wasn't time to reload the crossbow. All Ed could do was brace himself.
Thump.
Her whole body moved as the punch wound up and then... A blue surge of electricity engulfed her body. her face froze and her arms went limp. She visibly staggered. Ed's breath caught in his throat. The crossbow fell from his grip. His jaw screamed out in agony as it hung loosely. Skarletta steadied herself. Her foot lashed out in a kick aimed at Ed's side but again the blue surge fired through her body. Her left leg gave way, her kick missed its target and Skarletta fell to her knees.
Groggily Ed drew the sword from its scabbard on his back. He felt like passing out. Or being sick. Or both. But somehow he wrapped his fingers around the hilt with both hands. Skarletta tried to rise but the electrified crossbow bolt released its load again. she spasmed violently, her arms flailing. Summoning all his strength Ed raised the sword above his head and swung it in an arc. The blade sliced through the air and struck the back of her neck. It bounced off the bone and the shock of the impact numbed Ed's arms. He yelled out in pain, dropping the blade and falling to the floor. Ed rolled on the floor in agony. His dislocated jaw, the reverberating bones in his hands, wrists and arms, the adrenaline leaving his system, abandoning him to his pain.
"This isn't the time, you cunt!" Tony roared in his mind. Somehow Ed forced himself to stand once again. Skarletta lay writhing on the floor, caught between the repeated shocks from the crossbow bolt and the gaping wound at the back of her neck. Ed stamped down hard on the circuit board strapped to her back, snapping the PCI cards from their housings then picked the sword up once more. Skarletta tried to push herself up onto her hands and knees and as she did he took his final swing. The slow motion effect from the adrenaline had left him. His head still swung groggily side to side as he tried to blink away the sweat and tears threatening to clog his vision. With a roar like no sound to ever leave his mouth Ed shouted.
"This! Isn't! The! Time!"
Moonlight flashed from the sword blade as it swung down once more. This time it sliced between the bones, severing Skarletta's head from her shoulders. It passed clean through and struck the floor. Again it jarred Ed's arms and he lost his grip and fell backwards onto the floor. And he lay there. Breathing heavily. Gazing up at the night sky and wondering if it was all too late...

-------------------------------------------

(not the end yet :P)

Bitemarks 5.5

2010-04-14T15:53:00.000+01:00

*yawns sleepily* Oh man. Dunno how the boss has got the cheek to make me work all Easter weekend and then decide he wants another week off on top of that.
Where were we?

Bitemarks 5.5

"Are you sure about this?" Ed asked as the chopper flew toward Keflavik airport. "I mean, there's no turning back from this..."
"What other option do we have, Ed?" said Alf, "The army's involved whether we like it or not. They already have reason to suspect the existence of an organisation like ours and they know enough about the Mother to know she's not human. Ideally I'd like to keep our existence classified among only the top brass but..."
Ed knew what Alf was thinking. They'd discussed nothing else during the chopper flight. Skarletta had broken into the radar complex for one purpose and one purpose alone. She was doing what any pilot who no longer had a craft would do. She was going to call for help. The long term implications of that were staggering and it would be irresponsible if not disastrous for them to try keep it a secret were she successful.
"I just hope we're not too late." said Ed.
"She's still inside the radar hub by all accounts." said Alf, "I have no idea how she plans on sending her message but our scientists assure me she can't do a thing from inside that building. Regardless what futuristic device she's building she'll have to use it outside. That's our only shot."
"What if the army boys do something stupid?"
"They know it's pointless firing on her but they'd probably try it anyway. I've already managed to convince General Tober that a missile strike is out of the question. All that would do would create enough chaos for her to disappear again. I'd be willing to bet she'd survive a blast."
The chopper began to descend and Ed gripped his modified crossbow nervously. He'd been scared before. He thought back to his fight with Dennis in werewolf form and how he'd feared death at his hands but this was worse. It wasn't just the fact that Skarletta might kill him, it was the fact that she might not. Ever since seeing her spaceship Ed had been thinking about what lay beyond. A whole race of her kind with technology beyond the scope of mankind. For all they knew they could be just around the corner, metaphorically, amassing an invasion, or worse, an extermination force. But there was something else he couldn't put his finger on. Some final piece of the puzzle that didn't yet fit.
The chopper touched down and he and Alf clambered out into the scowling face of General Tober. He was a stern, square-headed man in his fifties with the heavyset body of an ex boxer. He looked at Ed, his eyes bulging as he took in the blond mohawk, the bizarre crossbow and the replica sword from the film 'Highlander' that Alf had managed to borrow from a private investor. A replica sure, but as deadly as the real thing, custom built by Crisp & Sons at a cost of over £6000.
"Are you shitting me?" growled Tober.
Alf offered a handshake that went ignored but introduced himself nonetheless.
"We spoke on the phone General Tober. I'm Alf, this is Ed, from the Paranormal Investigation Bureau."
Tober seemed unimpressed.
"So the rumours of a vigilante operation were true all this time..."
"Not entirely vigilante." Alf corrected him, "We were formed by Royal edict a long long time ago. But we can discuss our legal status some other time. Right now we have the pressing matter of..."
"A vampire." said Tober, cynically. "Or is it a goddamn alien?"
"Strictly speaking... both."
"Immune to bullets, missiles, fire, disease? And your boy here kitted out like we're in the Dark Ages?"
"I understand your scepticism, General but we have had more dealings with this creature than you. My 'boy' here has already faced this alien twice."
"Then why the goddamn fuck is she still alive? You want me to put my faith in you gentlemen? I'm already evacuating this airport and the surrounding area. If you can't kill this thing I have a missile strike just awaiting my order."
Alf put a reassuring hand on Ed's shoulder.
"I have every faith..."
"SIR!"
A soldier appeared in front of them, threw a hasty salute and addressed the general.
"Sir, the vampire has left the radar building sir."
Before the General could issue a single command Ed was off running as fast as he could toward the radar dome.

Bitemarks 5.4

2010-04-08T13:57:00.001+01:00

Bitemarks 5.4

Ed walked into one of the Bureau's communications monitoring stations. Alf was wearing one of the headsets and tapping at a keyboard.
"What's going on?" Ed asked. Alf didn't reply but one of the other staff answered for him.
"Seems like our vampire is in Iceland."
"The food store?"
"No, the country." said Alf, removing the headset. "Shit, this is really bad news." He stood up and paced for a while. Ed eventually broke the silence.
"What's going on?" he asked again.
"Some news desk in Iceland just got hold of amateur footage from a reporter who was off duty at Keflavik airport." He punched a few buttons at the terminal and the shaky phone camera footage came up. It clearly showed Skarletta smashing through the window at Keflavik, throttling a woman at the help desk and then opening fire on the security guards.
"Holy... shit..." said Ed.
"I know and it gets worse. We were still monitoring the military comms after they picked you up. They're on this already. They've contacted Iceland saying the vampire is a criminal they're after for crimes against the British military. They're assembling a commando unit as we speak."
"Christ... but she had guns. I mean... she already took out two lots of soldiers armed with rifles at the Arctic base with her bare hands!"
"She's up to something. All this in public?" said Alf. "Something about that radar site."
"They won't be able to stop her." said Ed, "Is that crossbow ready?"
"Yeah it's ready. But what can I do Ed? If I just send you in... To them you're just another hostile."
"We have to do something. Right now we're the only ones capable of stopping whatever she's doing."
"Then I guess there's only one thing we can do..." Alf put the headset back on, "Someone patch me in to the General in charge of that unit."

-------------------------------------------

Skarletta dragged one of the dead cops into the bunker and then slammed and bolted the door shut behind her. It was dark but that didn't bother her. She fed a little on the dead cop until her bullet wounds were fully healed and then adjusted her pupils to make the most of what light there was. There was still some computer equipment here and she lugged her array of towers over to it. She tried starting up the main computer terminal but there was no power. She cursed and looked around. There were three more doors and she tried all three until she found the one that led downstairs to where the backup generator lay. It wasn't a complicated mechanism. Hopefully it would provide enough power for what she needed to do. She started it up and returned upstairs. The main terminal had come online and she keyed in an adjustment to the dish's angle. That done she opened her PC towers and began putting components together.

If Jesus returned...

2010-04-06T15:43:00.003+01:00

Would he be a young girl? What if Boxxy... was Jesus? I'll link to the Boxxy vids at the end for those who live in a cave and have no idea who she is/was. But let me present my theory.

A long time ago a man existed. A man named Jesus. Whether you identify this man as the son of an almighty being or simply as a prophet is irrelevant. Jesus did some amazing things. Jesus said some amazing things. He inspired millions of people to follow him and millions more to hate him. And when he died, he said he would return.

Fast forward to our modern age around 2007/2008 when a video appeared, made by a young girl. For a whole year, no one took any notice except for maybe the friend the video was made for until one day, 27th December 2008, someone posted a link to the video on www.i-am-bored.com. A curious date, considering this piece of information regarding a visitation from Jesus.

"On December 27, probably 1673, the feast of St. John, Margaret Mary reported that Jesus permitted her, as He had formerly allowed St. Gertrude, to rest her head upon His Heart, and then disclosed to her the wonders of His love, telling her that He desired to make them known to all mankind and to diffuse the treasures of His goodness, and that He had chosen her for this work."

From here the video finally made its journey to the heartland of the internet, 4chan's /b/ board and the Boxxy phenomenon exploded. Her ADHD ticcing, unusual voice patterns and bizarre heavily eyelinered cuteness captured the minds of Anonymous. To some she was the epitome of virtue, a being of pure innocence, joy and goodness. They crowned her their Queen and some still claim to hear her voice in their dreams. Nothing she said made sense and yet to those followers, it made perfect sense. Like Jesus before her Boxxy had captured their hearts. Her words enthralled them and enraged others. Her very existence caused the biggest civil war the Digital Age has ever seen. The mighty united force of Anonymous was fractured by her presence. Two more Boxxy videos were found and this schism grew until, on January 10th 2009 the fighting reached breaking point. The Boxxy haters, fed up of endless threads about the new Queen attacked their own website, their haven, their sanctuary, bringing it crashing offline for nearly four hours. With nothing more than a handful of nonsensical words Boxxy had brought down one of the internet's most popular websites inhabited by the all powerful Anonymous. Anonymous has a reputation of being able to find anything, anyone, anywhere and a full scale search to find Boxxy was launched. It's now April 6th 2010 and Boxxy still hasn't been found. No more videos ever came. But Anonymous does not forget. People on both sides still search and Boxxy's followers still fervently believe that one day our Queen will return. The war still rages on in her name. Just the mention of the word Boxxy on /b/ causes an instant rush of "Awwwww" and "Fuuuuu!".

To my mind, this is exactly the kind of reaction I would expect if Jesus were to return. A sudden appearance and disappearance. Instant love or hate caused by nothing more than a speech. And a war. An ongoing legacy. And the neverending hope in his followers that one day he would return.

Is Boxxy just a girl? Out there somewhere, getting on with her life, somehow avoiding every attempt to find her?
Or did we bear witness to the seemingly impossible? The resurrection of a prophet? The visitation of a soul reincarnated in a completely different body?

We may never know. All we can say for sure is that she was Boxxy. Our Queen. And live in hope that one day, she may return.

Did you miss the whole Boxxy thing? Left confused as to what could have caused all this? The war has had casualties and Boxxy's videos have been removed from Youtube twice due to 'copyright claims'. But they will always return.

The original video.

The second. Where she actually mentions 4chan.

The third. Where she claims not to have ADD. And spawns the images of "You's trollin'", "I am Boxxy you see!" and "I c what u did thar." She mentions the rising attention from 4chan and her disappearance from Gaia. What was it she wouldn't tell us because it would ruin the mystique? And then she vanished...

Bye Boxxy. :'(

And the obligatory remix.

Feel the love. I'm going to go cry somewhere like a sad emo. ¬¬

Back. To add in one more comment based on the remix.
"All over the place, like I am right now."
Omniprescence. Boxxy is everywhere and she loves you all without compromise. Look into her eyes as she says it. And believe!

Bitemarks 5.3

2010-04-06T14:15:00.000+01:00

Can you smell the end approaching? :)

Bitemarks 5.3

As she ran Skarletta stuffed one pistol into her waistband so as to free up her right hand. She could fire just as well with her left. It was a squat, rectangular construction and like most airport terminals was designed with large amounts of glass in place of walls. Even at this time of night she could see it was bustling. This was going to be fun.
She brought up the pistol and fired two shots at the glass and then threw herself at it. It shattered under the impact, weakened by her bullet placement and Skarletta crashed though into the terminal itself. As she'd expected the congregated public instantly resorted to panic at her arrival rapidly turning the scene into one of pure chaos. She barged her way through screaming members of the public to the nearest desk and grabbed the woman behind by the throat. She forced the Thrall upon her.
"Mechanic." Skarletta growled. "Where?"
The woman pointed, choking under Skarletta's grip.
"That way. Fourth door on the right."
Skarletta dropped the woman and fired off a shot from the gun at an overly brave security guard that had caught her eye then took off the way she'd been directed. She counted the doors. One, two, three, four! She kicked it clean off its hinges. Inside, oblivious to the chaos, were various workers relaxing. One was wearing blue overalls and grubby enough to be what she sought. She placed him in the Thrall.
"I need tools." she told him. "Blowtorch, soldering iron, screwdrivers."
He offered no resistance, trapped as he was under her mental control. Skarletta let him lead her out of the room and off through the terminal. Most of the general public had begun fleeing in one mass exodus out of the terminal and here and there what remained of the terminal's security took up defensive positions, keeping her in their sights. They were using radios and Skarletta guessed they were calling in local authorities. Good. That was the plan.
She let her captive mechanic lead her to an equipment locker. Satisfied it held everything she wanted she fed on the unlucky mechanic and then stuffed a bunch of equipment into a handy toolbag. She should just have time to make it back to where she left the computer towers...

A few of the security officers opened fire on her as she made her way back through the terminal to the smashed window. She ignored them, using the last three shots from her gun to panic them enough that they took cover. She took a few bullets but the fresh blood from the mechanic was enough to keep her going, full speed, back through the terminal window and back to the IADS control centre. The sound of approaching sirens could be heard as she squatted inside the doorway of the building. She used some of the wires to tie the PC towers together. The timing on this was going to have to be smooth. She took the radio she'd picked up earlier and activated it.
"Radar hub two!" she shouted into it and then slung her towers onto her back and sprinted for radar hub one. Stupid humans. She ran, knowing they'd almost all head for radar hub two. As the other radar hub came into view she saw that they hadn't put all their eggs into one basket after all. Two police officers, both with high powered rifles were watching this hub just in case. They noticed her just after she noticed them but it would already be too late. She'd slid her package of pc towers from her back and with all her strength tossed it high into the air ahead of her. She pulled the second gun from her waistband as the two officers knelt and opened fire. As the assault weapons' bullets struck her torso she fired two shots at one officer and two at the second. Her aim was flawless and the automatic fire stopped. Without breaking stride she jumped, catching the falling package in both arms and landing on her knees, cradling the delicate equipment. She regained her footing and checked the two officers. Both were dead from shots to the head. Satisfied, she kicked in the door to radar hub one and deposited her package and equipment inside. She took one assault rifle from one officer and tossed that through the door two. Then she took the remaining one, squatted in the doorway and pulled out the radio again.
"Radar hub one!" she yelled. Then she brought up the rifle, stared down its sights and waited.
Humans had a curious tactic of escalation faced with such problems, she noted. Security called first for the police. And when she killed those they'd bring in light military. And after that, the heavy guns. But with each escalation they'd grow more cautious. Once she took out this police unit it would be a while before the military assaulted the bunker, long enough for her to get to work.

Epitaph

2010-04-05T22:37:00.000+01:00

Finally Easter weekend is over. Thank God.
Bitemarks will resume tomorrow.
In the meantime... I wrote my own epitaph!

Epitaph

When I'm gone what will I leave behind
But sparkling fragments of a diamond mind
Time-worn bones and a fossilized tear
And the silent echo of my voice to hear

Now see my breath drift past the moon
On the coldest winter night
Here lieth Charon
The ghost who loved to write

© Charon 2010

Woooooaaaaahhhhh GEEK OUT!

2010-04-02T13:12:00.003+01:00

Last year was a pretty crap year for film if I may say so. Not saying I watched them all or anything but there was very little to really excite me, to get my geeky juices flowing. Roll in 2010 and suddenly, BAM, an explosion of tasty geek treats. Allow me to give you a run through of my most anticipated for 2010. In no particular order.

1. Legion.
I know it's out already but I haven't seen it so it still counts. The trailer was just so good that this *has* to rock. If it doesn't, I will be sorely disappointed.

2. The A-Team.
This will either be amazing, or an utter disaster. There can be no middle ground. The trailers just aren't convincing me yet. For these very good reasons:
I - Multiple errors in the opening voice over. For example, they escaped from a maximum security STOCKADE not facility. And they survive as soldiers of FORTUNE not soldiers for hire. This to me, doesn't bode well. It suggests too much of a willingness to deviate and worse still, the stupid hollywood blockbuster style voiceover does not fit this famous line! Don't believe me, judge for yourself.

The original intro from the show.

And the new trailer.

Which brings me on to point 2
II - Where's the goddamn theme tune?! Are you shitting me? The theme *made* this show awesome. It's legendary. Iconic even. That was barely a a few seconds of the opening bar and it sounded slow as hell. Surely they didn't... oh wait... what's this I hear sneaking its way into trailer number 2?

Only a snippet, but it's there. BA whistling more of it than we've actually heard played. Is it a promising hint that the full theme will be played over the opening credits? Or simply a minor nod? It had damn well better be the former and with as much power as they can muster.

III - Not enough bling on BA Baracus. Fans of the show will remember BA actually fine tuned the suspension on the infamous van because the weight of his chains made it wonky, hence Murdoch having so much trouble driving it that time. :P

IV - No sign of them making improvised weapons out of cardboard tubes and superglue. :(

I reserve judgement but let me say this. Back when the superhero franchises were wearing thin (X3, Spiderman 3 et al) I said they should do Iron Man because it would be awesome. They did and it was. And after that, I said the next big superhero movie should be Captain America. Guess what got announced recently? Captain America. With two successful predictions under my belt let me suggest this. If the A Team movie is a success I hereby predict a new Knight Rider movie. Watch this space. :)

3. Tron: Legacy.
WOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! GEEK OUT!!
Tron: Legacy. Fucking TRON! :D Oh man. Have you seen the light cycles? :D And Jeff Bridges... This is gonna be badass. Sadly I can't show you. Because it's Disney. And they won't allow people to embed Youtube vids. FUCKERS! Well guess what. I ain't going to the cinema to see this. You won't play fair Disney, neither will I. Selfish corporate bastards.

4. Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time.
Usually videogame films are crap. Sorry but they are. No matter how hard they try it ends up being rubbish. Even DOOM, which I liked, I have to admit, was piss-poor. Final Fantasy, sucked balls. Resident Evil made me weep, and not in a good way. Time for a checklist...

I - Main character looks like the main character? CHECK!
II - Familiarity? Are the amazing acrobatic moves in there that made the game so much fun? CHECK!
III - Plot. Roughly in keeping with the game? CHECK!
IV - The dagger can rewind time right? CHECK!

Oh man. They did it right? Amazing! Check out the trail... oh yeah. It's Disney. Fuck's sake Disney! Yet another one I won't be going to the cinema to see. I think I'll make this my new rule. You don't allow me to embed the trailer, I'm not giving you a penny.

5. Kick-Ass
I don't even know what to say. Again, I can't show the trailer (new rule guys, fuck you) but I really suggest you head on over to Youtube and look it up. Because, you know, the world kinda needs a film like this. All the films mentioned above (And Iron Man 2) have me excited but this one is something else entirely.

Ah ok, so the official trailer isn't embeddable. Thank God for people breaking the rules. ;)
Enjoy.

Well now you mention it...

2010-04-01T17:16:00.003+01:00

I was bored. Really bored. So bored in fact that I read Private Eye and the latest issue of Wired already. And then I went poking about on the internet looking for everything and nothing in particular. I even took a look through the blogger settings and noticed a 'new' editor. New? Crap, when did I last even look in the settings? Why wasn't I informed? Does it work? Because the text looks a little... weird. Guess we'll find out soon. The important part is that it's supposed to fix the problem we had back in Bitemarks chapter 4 where it posted on the day I began the draft rather than the actual day I published it to the world (that's you Ches). :P

Oh and then I noticed something else. I've been on Blogger over a year now and have made 200 posts! Well, this is post 201. In fact, that probably averages at a post every other day (sure doesn't feel like it sometimes huh?). I'm so glad I can't actually pull up statistics for how many of those posts were read. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.

Earlier today I was thinking about Kurt Cobain (topic change seatbelt on? I hope so). Well, I was more trying to think *like* Kurt Cobain, in the hope I might be able to squeeze out a poem that embodies the sort of meaningless meaningfullness of 'Come As You Are'. I guess I'm just eager to find a way to spin metaphors that are a tad more abstract than my usual fare. Which is tricky, when your mind is logical and literal and overthinks every tiny detail. But it's doing things like trying to think like Kurt Cobain that eventually pushes my brain into the overdrive mode that spits out things like 'Cold Rainbows'.
Anyway, where was I?
Oh yeah, I was thinking about Kurt Cobain and how, you know, he killed himself, pretty much at the height of his fame (or three years after the peak if you think that way). An interesting move. Because it makes me think beyond it. What would he be like if he was still around? Would Nirvana still exist? Would they be long serving rock legends? Or washed up has-beens?
And then I was thinking about JK Rowling and her sudden explosion as one of the world's best known children's authors. Once she's finished with Harry Potter, what then? Early retirement? Snuggled up in front of her magnificent fireplace (which she has in my mind)? Or will she take up the pen again and try to do better? How would she top Harry Potter? How would Kurt top Nevermind? Where do you go when you've stood at the dizzying heights of perfection, casting your gaze downwards at the pitiful mewlings of your once-peers vying to climb up your bootstraps?
Fuck, lost my train of thought again.
Something about... moving on, yeah. See, I generally try not to think so much about what I have written (because Cold Rainbows and Song for the Girl were so good it gives me JK Rowling syndrome) but more about what's coming next. Because I always want everything to be at least mildly better than what came before. Otherwise what's the point? I guess that's the advantage of still being at the 'permasuck' stage. There's always better to strive for. I'd hate to become the overnight superstar like JK or Kurt. I'd hate to think I'd hit any sort of pinnacle or peak. I'd hate to have a specific piece of my work become so legendary that I could never best it. And yet... that's exactly what the net result would be if I continued to get better every time (optimistically speaking). Maybe trying too hard is what ultimately makes you the victim of your own success. And maybe, just maybe, that's why I prefer to put off the more ambitious projects. Like a novel, for example. There are plenty of authors my age or younger who've already written books and they're supposed to take like four years to write. So I'm nearly a decade behind anyone who would, I guess, be considered my 'peers' depending on your definition of that. And I haven't even begun one yet!
In short, I'd rather labour under the presumption that I'll slowly get better than already be as good as I'm gonna get even if it means sacrificing long term endeavours toward lasting infamy.

That was my primary musing for the day, in between bouts of poking around the net and listening to Nirvana. Some might call that a pretty lax day (I *did* write the next Bitemarks though, look!). I consider it highly productive. Thinking is one of those pastimes that people seem to largely forgo these days. Dwelling over one's achievements and prospects or even just enjoying thoughts and musings. People should spend more time thinking (and perhaps, faced with the risk of JK syndrome, a little less time doing, lest you achieve the perfection you strive for).

Your homework for today (or tomorrow, whatever). Go do some thinking.

Bitemarks 5.2

2010-04-01T13:29:00.002+01:00

Bitemarks 5.2

Dodging the unremarkable security patrol at Keflavik Airport proved an easy task for Skarletta and she soon found the building she was looking for. At one time it would have been the bustling hub of the Iceland Air Defence System; the control centre for the radar blanket watching over the country. Now it was a building abandoned by people, containing only the monitoring equipment as it awaited relocation to a new home. It was this equipment Skarletta wanted but this building itself was inconvenient to her needs. She needed the equipment closer to one of the radar sites to avoid being disconnected from afar and on top of that this building was too difficult for her to defend by herself. She would have to break in and move the equipment to the other end of the airfield where one of the huge radar dishes sat atop an old bunker. Of course, she couldn't have these trigger happy guards shooting at her valuable equipment as she moved it.
She peered through one of the grimy windows and saw a dull red light. Excellent. She gripped the door handle and tore it free of its housing, letting the door swing open, then stepped inside and waved her hands in front of one of the motion sensors. It tripped and an alarm began to sound out across the airfield. Skarletta took her position just inside the door and waited.

The sound of footsteps running was her signal and as they came she readied herself for the coming combat. It would be quick, clean and luckily for her enemies, unfortunately painless. The first security guard was perhaps the luckiest, not seeing what was coming as he ran through the door. Skarletta gripped the back of his head as he entered, using his own momentum and her own strength to propel him forward into the wall, crushing his skull beneath her palm as she followed through. In one fluid movement she spun around him as his body fell, snatching the pistol from his hand and pointing it through the open doorway. She fired once at each target she saw, striking a clean headshot on each unlucky guard. One or two were fast enough off the mark to fire but only one bullet struck her passing cleanly through her cheek. Perhaps as she'd expected the guard unit consisted of six members and the gun had enough shots to suit her purposes. With the unit disposed of she took two more guns, making sure to choose the guards who hadn't fired. These human weapons were remarkably effective and she found herself at least moderately impressed with the resulting efficiency. She grabbed hold of the first guard she'd killed and unclipped his radio from his belt. Not yet...
She took his flashlight too and made her way into the complex under its light. There wasn't time to be fussy over what equipment she selected. She spotted a huddle of PC towers and took three cases to one side. She slid the sides off and tore out the components and motherboards then quickly made her way around the room, cherry picking components and stuffing them into the tower cases. Once she had everything she thought she'd need she took a fourth intact PC tower and a bundle of wires and moved them over near the broken door. She heard footsteps and correctly presumed the second unit was arriving to investigate what was going on. She didn't wait for them this time. She burst from the door in one huge leap, rolled as she landed and came up on one knee as to make herself a smaller target. She brought up the pistols and opened fire. Six more widows. Six more children without a father. She chuckled evilly as she discarded the pistols and retrieved two more. Child's play, she thought as she ran at full speed to the main airport terminal.

Bitemarks 5.1

2010-03-31T11:25:00.002+01:00

Yes, 5.1. I realise section 4 was small but sometimes that's how it happens.

Bitemarks 5.1

With little choice left Ed had returned to the Bureau. He was still reeling slightly from the shock of seeing Skarletta leap from one helicopter to the other. Not to mention being temporarily face to face with her for the first time. Twice now they'd met. The score stood at one all. Ed had a feeling only one of them would survive their third meeting.
"Ed? Back already?"
It was Alf.
"I lost her." said Ed, "She fell into the ocean after I zapped her. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she turns up again real soon."
"I'll have everyone looking out."
"You know, she didn't seem too fazed by this thing." said Ed, holding up the stun gun. "But when I zapped her with it, just for a second, it was like she lost control of all her muscles, went limp."
"That's the general principle as I understand it, Ed."
Ed held up the modified crossbow bolt in his other hand.
"I'm thinking... anti-pacemaker."
"You mean... if we...?"
Ed nodded.
"See if RnD can find a way to combine the two technologies... quickly. If I can lodge one of these bolts inside her and it can repeatedly zap her. Maybe it'll only slow her down, maybe it will incapacitate her, who knows but I'm keen to end this. You said all the vampires in the cull were killed by decapitation?"
"That's right."
"Then I'm going to need a sword as well."

------------------------------------------

Skarletta pulled herself ashore and lay panting. She wasn't easily tired but the electric shocks, the fall from the chopper and swimming through the strong oceanic currents had been hard work even for her. She lay on her back for a moment and looked up at the sky. Night was falling already and she could see Polaris shining. She'd swum due east after her fall and that meant she now lay on the west coast of Iceland. Iceland. She smiled. A perfect place to put her final plan into action. Iceland had no military of its own and by the time another country sent in re-enforcements to stop her it would all be too late. But she needed access to some technological equipment. Keflavik would be perfect for her needs. The radar complex had been closed down recently but the equipment had yet to be relocated and would suit her needs. The only real difficulty would be defending the main complex whilst putting her plan into action. Pity she hadn't had the foresight to bring David along. He would have been useful fodder...

Ray Bradbury and Obama

2010-03-28T13:22:00.002+01:00

Firstly I'd like to pass on a link a friend sent me to a short story by Ray Bradbury.
http://raybradbury.ru/library/story/53/2/0
Wish I could write like that. :(

Secondly. Remember when Obama came to power and he was all like:
"I'm gonna get shit done!"
And we were all like:
"Wow. Cool. I hope he gets shit done."
And then he just got on with and started getting shit done. Kicking off at the carbon emissions conference? Radically changing America's healthcare policy? Nuclear disarmament treaties?
I'll tell you what. When America's done with him Obama's welcome to come over here and kick England into line. We need a man who'll just get shit done.

Just a couple of things.

2010-03-25T15:55:00.003Z

So, that was the revelation. The climate changing device intended to bring about global cooling, though not exactly plunging Earth into an ice age still reducing the entire planet to little more than an Arctic wasteland. How, you ask, given the spherical nature of the planet and the impact that has on how the sun's rays strike its surface and give it warmth. Well I kinda meant to mention it but it just didn't really fit in at the time. It's to do with altering the Earth's atmosphere. Kinda like thickening the Ozone layer up so far less sun gets through. Like a reverse greenhouse effect. But it doesn't matter. The main point is, I planned that from the start and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the discussion we had on global warming. An annoying coincidence.

Secondly, regarding this concept of alien life arriving on Earth in much earlier times (Which in bitemarks is manifested by Skarletta being here so long ago that her direct 'descendents' 'evolve' to become successively weaker forms of her that we know today as vampires). This is not a new concept. I'm probably not the first to mix vampires in with this early alien visitation theory either. And what's more, who says it's just a theory? I'm not the first to point out the sheer unlikelihood of Earth being the only planet in the universe capable of holding life.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a9/Rosa_camuna_e_antropomorfi_R24_-_Foppe_-_Nadro_(Foto_Luca_Giarelli).jpg
That's a stone carving done in around 10'000BC or so I was told, discovered at Val Camonica, Italy. Is that some form of space helmet? Or an animal skull? Who knows.
This picture too shows engravings from the same place.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2d/Ancientastronauts.jpg

And what about this one from Tassili N'Ajjer in Algeria circa 6000BC?
http://www.inquiring-mines.com/images/ancient_astronauts/cave_art_tassili_mountains_02.jpg
There's probably more too. Is it really coincidence that even 8000 years ago the 'flying saucer' existed as a concept? I just thought you might be interested in seeing those.
*cue spooky music*

Bitemarks 4.4

2010-03-25T13:33:00.002Z

Ok so, I see my cunning plan of starting Bitemarks 4.3 on Sunday and finishing it off on Tuesday made it post as a Sunday update. Gah. Foiled.

Bitemarks 4.4

Skarletta clutched the device to her chest as she fell. To be this close... All those years ago it had all seemed so simple. She'd travelled to the north to see how the Dherroine coped with the extreme climate. The results had been perfect. They were able to survive but suffered from the cold enough to make them easily manipulatable. Exactly as hoped. And all she had to do was activate this device and bury it. A forcefield would protect it against anything once activated and, if placed far north enough, it would gradually alter the climate of the planet to match that frozen north. They'd stopped her then... but not this time.
She ran her fingers across the device's surface, triggering the startup sequence and...
Nothing happened.
"Noooooooooooooooooooo!!"
She ran her fingers across it again and again though she knew it was futile. The electric shock had damaged its circuitry. The device was useless. with one final scream of frustration Skarletta plunged into the Atlantic.

Ed was pulled back by the pilot and landed hard on his seat. His right elbow struck the pilot and the chopper veered wildly to one side until he managed to bring it under control. Ed gripped the seatbelt again and peered down from the chopper door at the ocean beneath them.
"Shit. Where'd she go? Circle round."
The pilot did his best to keep the aircraft going in a circle while allowing Ed a clear view. They circled like this for about five minutes then Ed sat back down in his seat. He stamped his foot angrily on the floor.
"Fuck!"

Skarletta let the device sink down. It was useless to her now. Her mission had failed and all that remained was one last option. Staying a few feet under the surface she struck out and began to swim, heading to the last landmass she remembered seeing from her chopper.

RIP

2010-03-22T22:09:00.002Z

Today we mourn for the tragic passing of Magical Trevor, the most ninja of all mice, who died today having reached the grand old age of 4 and a half. :(

Bitemarks 4.3

2010-03-21T15:00:00.003Z

Bitemarks 4.3

Skarletta couldn't help but smile as she flew across the sea in the stolen news helicopter. She hadn't expected it to be so easy. She was beginning to like this 'internet'. The way it made all the skills and information of mankind open to her. Oh sure the chopper was clunky in comparison to the smooth controls of her spaceship. But it would get her where she wished to go and that was all that mattered. Soon she would be north enough to land the chopper, plant the device and then... She hadn't really given much thought to what then. Other than guarding the device and studying the Dherroine she was free to do whatever she wished.

----------------------------

Ed's chopper also was making its way northwards and whether by luck or simply the difference in speed between the two it wasn't long until they sighted the news copter. It was the pilot who brought it to Ed's attention. Out of place, slightly erratic flight pattern. Ed was sure it was her but still had the pilot radio in to check. Once they knew for sure the chopper had been stolen Ed was convinced.
"We need to take her down." he told the pilot.
"This ain't no military craft son." the pilot replied. "No guns on this thing."
Ed thought. All he had with him was the micro syringe, his pistol and... the stun device.
"Can you get within fifteen feet of her?" asked Ed.
"Fifteen feet. This isn't a fucking car you know. Can't just pull up alongside. The blades." He pointed upward.
"What about if you get above her?" Ed asked.
There was a lengthy pause.
"If she were to hit us with those blades..."
"You know what she is, right? You have clearance?"
"Yeah... Shit boy... if you get us killed..."
The pilot pulled the chopper up. He was faster, more manoeuvrable and more skilled than Skarletta and so far she'd still given no indication of noticing them behind her. Slowly he drew nearer and nearer. Ed wound his left arm into the belt of the seat and gripped the device tightly in his right hand. He slid the chopper door open and peered out at Skarletta's helicopter below them. He indicated with his hand for the pilot to drop down a little more. Ed's heart was pounding as the spinning disc of Skarletta's rotors loomed closer. It was hard to judge distance looking down from the chopper like this but when it felt right Ed fired the device. The electrical bolt hit the rotors and Ed watched as blue lightning cracked down from them, seemingly encompassing the little chopper. There was a horrible whining sound and the chopper spun wildly. Even if the bolt had interrupted the controls for a moment it could be enough, thought Ed, pulling himself back inside as the pilot raised their own chopper up higher.
"Crazy sonofabitch." said the pilot as he swung the chopper to one side so they could see what had happened. Skarletta's chopper was spinning wildly now as it lost altitude.
"It's just sea down there." said Ed, realising he had no idea whether or not Skarletta would survive.
"Look!" said the pilot.
Ed looked. As the chopper spun the door on it opened and he could see Skarletta looking out at them. Neither of them expected what happened next. Seemingly defying the laws of gravity Skarletta leapt from the stricken craft but not to plunge into the icy waters far below. No, she jumped straight up. Panicked, the pilot tried to manoeuvre but there was no time. With a thud Skarletta struck their windscreen and clung on tight. She stared through the glass at them, eyes open wide as she recognized Ed.
"You!" she mouthed, or rather shouted, her voice drowned out by the sound of the chopper and the thick glass between them.
"SHIT!" cried the pilot, "Do something!"
Ed could only think of one thing to do. He swapped the device into his left hand, slid the chopper door open once more and gripped the frame tightly with his right. He pushed with his feet, temporarily leaving the craft entirely and swinging, pivoting around the door frame and coming face to face with Skarletta. In the second before he started to swing back he pointed the device at her face and pulled the trigger. The bolt struck the vampire and Ed swung back. His feet fought for purchase on the chopper floor and his grip on the doorframe loosened. For a second Ed thought he was about to fall, then he felt the pilot's hand grabbing the back of his shirt. Suspended temporarily, half in, half out of the chopper, Ed watched as Skarletta fell. The device had made her lose her grip on the chopper and now she was plummeting down...

Expedition

2010-03-19T14:45:00.002Z

Expedition

What do you see in the pools of chaos
The waters that encourage humanity's demise
Somewhere lost, the wandering soul of a warrior
A fallen soldier so eager to rise
The dreams of the angels mix with the devils'
A long lost secret that they dare not speak
Don't stare for too long in the pools of chaos
They'll suck you right in if your will is too weak

What do you find in the jungle of torment
A myriad of caves where the madness hides
Keep on your feet, foolish would-be explorer
Lest this be the prison where your spirit resides
The longer you stay the more you'll fall victim
To the hot humid stench of lingering doubt
Retrace your steps to the river of anguish
If you follow its banks you might just get out

What did you learn beyond the threshold of reason
How to succumb to logic's power?
Undermine yourself with emotional treason
The fruit of secret knowledge, both sweet and sour
Take this one piece of joy as you now step free, blinking
Shielding your eyes against the harsh light of day
Your feet only covered but a fraction of the journey
And you're blessed with the freedom to walk swiftly away

© Charon 2010

Bitemarks 4.2

2010-03-19T13:48:00.004Z

Bitemarks 4.2

Skarletta rapped sharply on David's door until he answered. She shoved him aside when she did and made for his bedroom and began rummaging through his wardrobe.
"What's going on?" he asked.
Skarletta pulled the device from her trousers and passed it to him.
"Hold this. Bloody thing got wet on the way here but it should be fine."
"What is it?"
"None of your concern." Skarletta told him, swapping her top for a t shirt of his.
"Did you spawn while I was gone?"
"Yeah." David grinned. "It was easy. Three people!"
He seemed pleased with his results.
"It will do for now." she told him, "But more is always better and do try to spread them out." She gave him a look then helped herself to a pair of his jeans.
"So what's this for?" asked David, waving the device around.
Skarletta thought back to the maps she'd seen of this planet.
"Greenland I think will be north enough. There's no need to get right to the pole."
"Greenland?"
"Territory of Denmark. Bit further north than Iceland." she told him matter of factly. "I'll need a helicopter."
"Wh..."
"A helicopter David. Where can I find a helicopter?" She kicked off her damp shoes and put on a pair of David's boots.
"The police station has one I guess. Or the airport. Or the radio?"
"Radio?"
"They use it to give traffic reports."
"Excellent." She made her way to his computer and pulled up Google maps.
"Show me where it is."

--------------------------------

Ed played with the micro syringe in his fingers. A shot of adrenaline. It was going to take more than this to take down a vampire but he was thankful for even that edge. Hopefully it would be enough for him to get a shot off from the crossbow before she killed him. But where to shoot? He'd obviously damaged her severely last time but hadn't seen where he'd hit. Should he aim for the heart? Would the bolt lodge in place? Would it even pass the ribcage? Or perhaps the head? Beauclair hadn't said if they could regrow brain matter or not. Ed had to presume they could.
There was a knock at the door and Alf entered the Briefing Room.
"Nearly ready?" he asked.
"Yeah." said Ed. "Listen... if anything happens to me Alf... my documents are up to date, right?"
Alf nodded. He knew Ed was talking about his will, what would happen to his possessions if he were to die, letters that needed to be delivered to various people.
"I have every faith in you Ed." said Alf. "And you won't be without some surprises." he showed Ed the device from the spaceship.
"You were right. It's a weapon. R and D have been firing this thing in one of the chest chambers and analysing it. It's not unlike a taser really. They told me the specifics but... you know. It fires electricity."
Ed nodded.
"Ok. So it's a stun weapon?"
"We guess so. Obviously there's no real way to test it and they didn't know what kind of charge it holds so we only fired it twice. But they estimate it would disrupt the natural flow of electric charge along the body's nerves enough to cause temporary paralysis."
"How temporary?"
"No idea. But they reckon it should work even on the Mother. The body has ways of fighting diseases. Antibodies. Electrical disruption is something else altogether. She shouldn't be able to avoid its effects."
"Right." Ed took the device.
"Oh and one more thing. I went through your medical records. Your blood type is AB negative."
"And?"
"It's the rarest blood type. Maybe it's important, maybe it isn't. It's something to do with having A and B antigens but no D antigens."
"And that's significant?"
"Maybe. We don't know yet. We took blood and cell samples from Beauclair. R and D are testing them against various blood antigen combinations now."
"Well at least I know she won't feed on me."
Ed took the device from Alf and held it.
"How does it work?"
"Put a little pressure on the trigger mechanism." said Alf, "A light will appear around where your thumb is now. Just push that and pull the trigger at the same time. There's no recoil."
"Range?"
"About fifteen feet."
"Oh great." said Ed, sarcastically. "So much for keeping a safe distance. I won't have much time to do this. Cooldown time?"
"Couple of seconds and you can fire again."
"I doubt I'll get a couple of seconds... Is the chopper ready?"
"Ready when you are."
Ed stuffed the device in his pocket along with the micro syringe.
"Let's go."

Qarîna

2010-03-18T20:54:00.003Z

You know, the root canal wasn't that painful at all really. :S I can't help but expect to wake up tomorrow in agony. :( The joys of pessimism. In the meantime... been a while since I wrote a poemette, right?

Qarîna

Curvy form of comely wench
The lingering scent of innocence
Eyes that promise answered lust
Lips that lie as they sing of trust

You 'splay the charm that never fails
Drawn by beckoning fingernails
My lips, they struggle, to name the spectre
The words drowned out in a sea of nectar

You might as well be made of fire
Wearing clothes of razorwire
Untouchable
You're untouchable
A demon birthed of pure desire

© Charon 2010

Meow

2010-03-18T06:31:00.005Z

6:30am. It's a shit time to be awake. It's an even shitter time to be at work. And worse still knowing all the other things I have to do today and tomorrow.
Still, least I can rely on the good old British press to make me lol first thing in the morning. Calling for a ban on Mephedrone because (shock horror!) the death toll has risen to...
Wait for it...
FIVE!!

ZOMG. Ban it quick! A drug we know nothing about killing a grand total of 5 people. Wait... haven't we known Mephedrone was being used since like 2007? So that's five deaths... in three years...
*grabs a calculator*
1.6 recurring. I thought so.
1.6 deaths per year is enough for a ban?
Well shit, people. In that case I hereby call for a ban on:
Cars
Junk food
Tobacco
Alcohol
Baths
Stairs
Bumblebees
Peanuts
Sex
Guns
Doctors
Airplanes
Fire
War
China
Religion
and Electricity.

Just because 1.6 people per year are stupid... Just because 1.6 people per year kill themselves by abusing something... That's no reason to ban it.

Bitemarks 4.1

2010-03-14T14:02:00.003Z

Bitemarks 4.1

Ed was beginning to hate the feeling of waking up with a sore head and lurching stomach. As he groggily surveyed his surroundings he recalled the crash. Time to speculate further was lost as he became aware of sirens some way off in the distance. Regaining clarity he scrabbled on the seat for his rucksack and stuffed the crossbow inside it. The driver's side door of the car was wrecked. The vehicle had struck the tree side on, mercifully it was the rear door that had connected and buckled under the impact but it had been enough to twist the metal frame. The glass had shattered in the window and the section round the locking mechanism told Ed it wouldn't work. He shuffled over the handbrake to the passenger door and tried it. It was stuck. Ed shifted his position, gripped the handle and gave it a firm kick. This time it shifted and two kicks later it was open. Ed made sure he hadn't left anything behind then climbed out of the car. The sirens were drawing closer. Ed caught a glance of himself in what remained of the wing mirror. He looked a mess. Fragments of glass had cut his head in places and his face was bloodied. He certainly wasn't in any state to be seen by anyone. He slung the rucksack onto his back and took off into the woods at a jog.

Maybe they'd notice he'd fled into the woods. Maybe they wouldn't. Either way Ed wasn't about to take that chance. He ran and as he did so he rang the Bureau. As long as he kept going in a straight line they could track his signal easily and get a chopper out to him. Ed was glad he lived in the digital age. Agents past would have had much more difficulty in dealing with a scenario like this. All he had to do was keep moving. He used his time wisely as he ran, thinking back over what he'd seen at Beauclair's place. Trying to find some clue as to what the Mother would be doing next...

-------------------------------------

Back at the Bureau Alf and Ed had a lot to discuss.
"What on Earth happened to you?" Alf asked, as Ed entered the briefing room.
"Had a little run in with the Mother." Ed told him.
Alf raised an eyebrow.
"And she didn't feed on you?"
Ed shook his head.
"No... at least... I don't think so."
Alf came over and examined his neck.
"That's odd." said Alf.
"Now that I think about it." said Ed, "It's really odd. I must have hit her with the crossbow. She bled all over the place."
"So why wouldn't she have fed on you?" Alf mused.
"Yeah, thanks for the sympathy."
"You know I'm right though. If we can figure out why, we might be able to use that to our advantage. Are you anaemic?"
"No." Ed sighed, "Just have someone sift through my medical records later."
"Did the crossbow do much damage?"
"I dunno." said Ed, "I was unconscious. I didn't even see it fire let alone hit her. She moved so fast. I heard her coming but before I could even turn around..."
"That we can help with." said Alf with a smile. "Beauclair told us all he could before he passed away. Turns out that the vampires have conscious control over their endocrine system. It this that allows them to increase or suppress their healing rates among other things. The other thing it allows them to do is massively increase the flow of adrenaline around their system. Oh sure they might already be faster, stronger, but it's that surge that gives them the boost."
Alf pulled out a disc shaped object and passed it to Ed.
"You know what this is?"
"Micro syringe, right?" said Ed, examining the button on top of the device.
"Exactly. Place it over the vein, push the button. Piece of cake. That one's loaded with a small shot of adrenaline. Enough to flood your system, not enough to kill you. It's not exactly going to let you outpace her, Ed, but we figure every little edge counts."
"We'll see if it works before too long. I have a feeling I know where she's headed."
"How?"
"She blew up the spaceship." said Ed. "But she went inside it first. She didn't go there just to blow up her ship. I think she wanted something from inside it and whatever it is, she's taking it back to the Arctic."
Alf mulled this over.
"I'll have to get some people out there. See if any parts of the ship survived. If we're dealing with an alien race then we need all the information we can get."
"Then it's a good job I have this."
Ed produced the device he'd stolen from Skarletta's ship.
"If I'm right, it's a weapon of some kind. If we can figure out how to work it I want to take it with me. Maybe I can use it against her."
"Even if we do stop her, Ed... we're still left with some major questions. Knowing now that she's an alien... Why the hell was she here in the first place. Why in all these years haven't we seen any others? And just how advanced could her race be after all this time?"
"The questions are your job." said Ed, "Stopping her from doing whatever she's planning to is mine."

Bloggy bloggy.

2010-03-13T22:10:00.002Z

Bitemarks will continue monday, I promise. In the meantime, I wanna talk so sit down, have a cuppa and listen up.

I've become lost in the sea of internet blogging. I've come to terms with reality in many aspects. I realise the chance of new readers coming my way are as close to zero as they're gonna get, closely followed by my dwindling active readership. I'm also acutely aware that though I'd quite like to be rich (wouldn't we all?) or renowned or even just respected by my readers and fellow writers the simple truth is, it ain't gonna happen. Sun-Tzu knows why. Clever bastard. Perhaps, as he would say, it's simply that I don't want to win. I just don't want it enough. Perhaps, just like JD Salinger, I'm content simply to write for my own amusement and entertainment first and foremost. Perhaps I'm just too miserable and/or disillusioned half the time to cast even the simplest of linguistical spells. Perhaps I get too caught up in reading either to research ideas I don't even know I'm having yet, or to expand my knowledge overall. Or perhaps, like Douglas Adams, I'm just lazy.
This might sound like some farewell. It isn't. If anything, it's the opposite. It's a declaration that whether people are here reading or not, I intend to continue, even if at times it doesn't look like it. I'm even going to make sure I get back into writing some actual blogs and not just posting poems and story snippets. Because I just like writing. To please me.
I used to think I had a pretty unique mindset. Turns out I was wrong. Turns out there's a lot of people out there who think like me, feel like me. Maybe that's something I'll tell you about some day. Maybe it isn't. But even those thoughts and ideas and feelings and mannerisms are no longer truly my own, they still are mine. One thing I know for sure. In the wake of Iamamiwhoami, I realise that I don't really care for total anonymity. At least, not as a writer. So I point anyone looking over to
http://www.formspring.me/Charonicus
where you can ask me anything that's on your mind. Be it about me, my thoughts, or just seeking an answer to any question at all. I am putting myself and my knowledge at your disposal.

The other thing I wanted to talk about was metadata. I read an article recently in Wired magazine by Russell M Davies. He points out that you, the reader, are devoid of information about the metadata behind the pieces we writers produce. Now, I, as a blogger, can and often do include such metadata. (Like how sometimes I'll bracket in an afterthought or an aside). But even then not all of it. Would it matter if you knew or not that as I write this article I'm listening to Sun and Steel by Iron Maiden. Or that I just finished work, the boredom of which was the factor that drove me to think up this very blog entry? Or that I'm itching to get finished and watch a movie before bed? His point was that you miss a lot of the creative process. You don't know if I stopped halfway through this blog to get a sandwich. Or if the phone rang and I was interrupted enough that I forgot a section that I wanted to include, thus denying you that section. I found this interesting in part because it relates to something coming up in bitemarks. I don't want to spoil it. But let's just say this. There's a part coming up that I've been nervous about. Nervous because it may seem to be related to something that happened on my blog during the early days of this Bitemarks project. I just want you to know, it isn't related. It was always the plan. The fact that it's there is co-incidence. And when it happens, I'll point it out, so you know what I'm on about.

I think that's everything. See you soon.

Bitemarks 3.12

2010-03-08T12:09:00.004Z

Ah sorry. Allow me to sum up my week.
"Al, can you stay late after work today?"
"Al, can you work tomorrow instead of having the day off?"
"Welcome home Al... remember I was renovating the loft? Well I've blown the lighting circuit. Here's a torch, see you monday."
¬¬

Now where were we?

Bitemarks 3.12

Her memory filled in the gaps as Skarletta ran her fingers over the hidden touchpad on the ship's exterior. A door seemingly appeared from nowhere on the smooth surface and slid silently open. Skarletta ducked inside. There wasn't time to power up the ship beyond its basic auxiliary power. Neither was there time to run a full set of diagnostics on the device. But the device *was* here and that was a good thing. Skarletta grabbed it from its housing then made to leave. Her hand was slippery where the arterial blood was pulsing against the wound and seeping out through her fingers. She couldn't dally, but she could spare enough time for one more act. She flicked open a panel near the ship's primary controls and pressed a series of buttons then made her way back out. Ed lay where she left him, still unconscious. Inconsequential now she mused and made her way back out of Beauclair's house. On the drive here she had passed a small village. It was close enough. She would feed, heal and then make her way back to England.

--------------------------------

Ed groaned loudly and tried to open his eyes. His vision swam and wouldn't focus. His whole skull felt like it had been shattered. He shifted his position and sat up, immediately wishing he hadn't. The rush of disorientation flew down to his stomach and he rolled to one side and vomited heavily. He was aware now how tender his neck felt too. Gingerly he pressed around it with his fingers, listening for the tell tale scrape of bone on bone but it seemed intact. He hadn't seen a thing but he had no doubt what had happened. It had to be her. He looked around for the crossbow and found it. It was in its fired position, so he'd got his shot off after all. That was evidenced further when he saw the trail of blood leading from him towards the ship. The ship! He saw it now and lost himself in a moment of disbelief. An actual working spaceship, right there in front of him, defying everything he thought he knew. It was smaller perhaps than he expected although in this huge hangar it was hard to judge the true scale of the bubble shaped craft. He moved closer to it. It could be around the size of four double decker buses, elliptical, maybe 25 metres or so long and half as wide. Its outer surface was completely smooth with no distinguishing marks except for the large bloody handprint upon it. Ed reached out and touched the print. The blood was smeared, almost like someone had drawn a pattern on the side. He traced it with his finger, a criss cross diamond shape. As he traced lights glowed under his touch and as he completed the pattern a section of the bubble slid away to reveal an opening. Ed fished in his pocket for another of the silver bolts and fitted it to the crossbow. Was she still in there? He peered inside. Lights had come on inside as the door opened and Ed stepped in. The inside was similar to the outside. Smooth white metal in most places and here and there more familiar sections of steel. There were two doors ahead and Ed took the one on the right first. Beyond the doorway was a room of sorts. At its centre was some form of computer terminal that reminded him of the Tardis controls from the Dr Who show he used to watch as a child. It was full of blinking lights and buttons and a few levers. To his left there were more panels on the wall and a section of glass. Ed looked at the glass panel. It housed some form of device that looked detachable. He ran his fingers around the edge of the glass and noticed a soft red light blinking to the right. Taking a deep breath he pressed the red light as it lit up. The glass panel slid aside and Ed reached in and pulled out the device. It could have been anything and Ed wasn't stupid enough to give in to mere curiosity given the situation but there was something important about this device. It had a trigger. Oh it wasn't gun shaped and perhaps it was something as innocuous as a medical device, but Ed decided he wanted it. He noticed more lights blinking on the control panel and went over to look. A section of panel had lights and he noticed more of them had lit up since he first looked. Ed watched them for a while. They were flashing in some kind of regular pattern. He had no idea what they were but they put him in mind of a film he'd seen a long time ago as a teenager. Predator. A chill ran down his spine. That was what they looked like... a countdown of sorts. And countdowns on electronic devices generally meant...

Ed didn't even stop to think. He ran. He ran with the urgency of a child running away from the playground bully. He ran with the panic of an animal escaping a predator. He ran like a man who genuinely feared for his life. He ran from the room so fast he slammed into the vault door opposite. He ran down the corridor and nearly lost his footing on a rug near the door he'd entered through. He ran through Beauclair's house heading only for the door, ignoring everything else in the way. He ran out of the main door and down the stairs two at a time. He ran to his car, tore the door open and started it up even as he closed it behind him. And once the engine started he slammed his foot down on the accelerator and drove at full speed down the country road, back the way he'd came. He didn't care about the windy country roads he hated so much. He didn't think about those shadowy trees that leapt from nowhere. He drove. Time no longer meant anything, coming rapidly in moments of fast and slow motion. Had it been seconds? Minutes? How much distance had he...?
WOOOOMPH!
He felt the explosion and saw the mushroom cloud in the rearview mirror as it swallowed up the hill that Beauclair's house had sat upon. He felt the shockwave slam into the car. He felt the wheels lose friction as the car was temporarily lifted by the force. He felt the wheels strike the road again and heard the tires screech as the car slid sideways. He felt the heat of the blast and he felt too the jarring impact as the car slammed sideways into one of those trees. And for the second time that day, Ed felt himself lose consciousness...

Bitemarks 3.11

2010-03-04T14:13:00.002Z

I'm back from my brief sojourn. Sadly no, it wasn't a visit of pleasure but a family funeral. Such things happen. On with the story.

Bitemarks 3.11

Skarletta tugged on the silver tube protruding from her shoulder. What was this? She wiggled it and felt it shift. The spasm of pain that followed told her all she needed to know. The tube had struck her brachial artery. The moment she tugged it out she would begin to bleed profusely. There was a genuine fear at the back of her mind. She already needed to feed and this only complicated matters. Her next meal was now an urgent consideration. she looked over to the fallen body of Ed and walked over to him. Perhaps if she pulled the tube out whilst feeding on him it would heal fast enough, then she need only feed again before she crossed the Channel again? She nudged Ed's head with her foot and it lolled to one side revealing the soft skin of his neck. She leant in close and stopped. She took an experimental sniff. Something was unusual here. Curiously she scratched the surface of his neck with a fingernail. Not deep enough to hit a vein, just enough to draw a single drop of blood. She drew it up to her mouth and let the drop land on her tongue. Almost immediately she balked and spat it out, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. It didn't taste right, not right at all. It was sour and bitter. What ailed this repugnant creature to make his blood taste so foul? Whatever the reason Skarletta knew she could not feed upon him. Nor could she afford to waste time leaving this tube stuck in her arm lest the artery close itself off entirely. Time was her biggest enemy now. If she was quick, she thought, she should easily be able to enter the ship, leave and find someone to feed on before she bled to death. As for this creature, she thought, grimacing as she yanked the spiky tube from her shoulder, she had no doubt their paths would cross again. She clamped her hand down as blood spewed from the wound and quickly headed towards the spaceship dominating the centre of the room.

----------------

Sorry, something just came up. I'll carry that on tomorrow.

A Brief Hiatus

2010-02-28T22:15:00.002Z

There will be a short break until the next Bitemarks (which will hopefully appear on thursday). I realise I've left it in an annoying place but that really can't be helped as I will be away from my PC (and the internet) until then.

Bitemarks 3.10

2010-02-28T15:25:00.005Z

Bitemarks 3.10

Skarletta gave Beauclair's house a good searching. Although there was plenty that piqued her interest there was nothing of any real significance. At least until she noticed the vault doors.

------------------------

By the time the flight landed Ed's nerves were on edge. Neither did he feel any better driving the route to Beauclair's house as the sun began to dip lower in the sky, the modified crossbow sat on the passenger seat. He had no faith in it. If she could withstand a full clip of rifle fire from multiple soldiers Ed just couldn't see how this contraption would slow The Mother down. He felt even more unsettled when he pulled to a stop by the vampire's residence to see the gate swinging in the breeze. She was here. Or had been here. With any luck the delay in Ed's flight had allowed her to reach here first, get what she came for, and leave. Ed was't exactly filling himself with confidence. He slid Beauclair's 'key' into his pocket, picked up the crossbow and made his way up the steps to the house. The front door was open, not wide, but enough that Ed could see where the doorframe was damaged. He could only presume that the Mother had kicked until the lock ripped right through the frame. He pushed it gently until there was enough space to slip through then did so, stopping just inside to listen. There was no sound but he clutched the crossbow anyway and made his way, step by step down the hallway.

---------------------------

Skarletta stopped fiddling with the vault's locking mechanism as her ears pricked up. Footsteps, slowly and cautiously coming her way. Had the owner returned? Certainly that was going to make life easier than trying to break through the vault doors. She backtracked down the corridor to where there were two doorways. She knew which one the footsteps were coming from and so she ducked inside the other, pushing it almost closed behind her so she could just see through the crack.

--------------------------

Ed hadn't heard a sound and so far hadn't seen any other signs of disturbance. He pushed open the door ahead and went into the corridor. This was the one, he was sure, that lead to the vaults and sure enough, down the far end of the corridor were the three doors. He knew which one led to the artefact room and which led to Beauclair's own posessions. The third then was his goal. He looked over the keypad and retina scanner. They weren't damaged in any way. Maybe his luck was holding. He drew the key from his pocket and raised it up in front of the retina scanner. An LED on the keypad flashed and Ed heard the clunking sound of the door's mechanisms unlocking. With a final hiss, the door shifted slightly and Ed pushed it. It swung easily on its hinges. A flourescent light began to flicker as the door opened and Ed stepped through...

Skarletta had only a split second to react. The moment she saw him push the door she yanked her own open, sprinting from her hiding place and down the corridor towards him. He heard her but it was already too late. Her speed gave her the element of surprise. Even as he turned she was upon him, her elbow connecting expertly with his temple. There was a snapping sound and for a moment, watching him leave his feet and sail through the air, she thought perhaps she'd hit too hard and snapped his neck on impact. But then she felt the sharp pain in her left shoulder and looked down at the spiky silver tube protuding from it...

Bitemarks 3.9

2010-02-26T13:42:00.002Z

Bitemarks 3.9

Ed drummed his fingers against the briefing room desk. For once Alf's many contacts had let him down and there simply was no flight available yet. Ed didn't like the waiting but there was little else to do but wait while the only guy available to fly Ed over to France came back from Germany. The door to the briefing room opened and Katia's head poked through.
"Oh hi..." she looked at him oddly.
"It's me." said Ed.
"Ed? Wow. I knew you were getting a free makeover, but... wow."
She grinned.
Ed shook his head.
"Yeah, laugh it up. Just imagine what they'll do to you if you ever get caught."
She laughed and poked her tongue out at him.
"I'm too sneaky for that. Anyway. Have you seen Alf?"
"Last I heard he was out by the comm desk trying to wangle me a flight to France."
"Yeah, I heard you're heading over there. Good luck."
"And what are you up to?" asked Ed.
"I'm off to Tibet. Going to check out some child claiming prophetic powers. It's possible he has some sort of pre-cognition. Could be useful."
Ed nodded. Pre-cognition was pretty much the holy grail of this line of work and all leads were investigated fully. So far they'd never found anyone truly psychic but the hope was there.
"Have fun." said Ed.
"I'll try. You too, Ed. Good luck."
With that she ducked back out of the room and closed the door behind her.

-----------------------------------------------

Skarletta pulled the car to a stop and climbed out. Just a short walk later and she stood by the coast, staring out over the English Channel. She cursed her over eagerness. Has she waited until nightfall she could have snuck aboard a ferry but as it was, some time after noon, she'd have to be a tad more resourceful. She clutched her chest as she felt the obsidian shard graze the wall of her heart once more. This was beginning to become more than a simple inconvenience and she was certain it was responsible for her increased need to feed. Still, she had plenty of strength left for now, enough for her next exertion. She walked out into the sea, wading until it was waist high and then began to swim. The cold didn't bother her, neither did the thought of having to spend so much time under water. She could easily hold her breath all the way there but she feared she would need to feed again once she recovered the device. She took a breath and then dove under the water and swam. She would make her way out, only a short distance really and wait for the first ferry to come by. She'd hitch a ride underneath to conserve energy and then steal a car and make her way to Beauclair's house. She couldn't wait to see what kind of man paid good money for Karal artefacts. Perhaps if she had the strength she'd grill him for information under the Thrall then feed on him afterwards...

Bitemarks 3.8

2010-02-25T14:14:00.004Z

Bitemarks 3.8

"Well there we go." said Caroline as she finished styling Ed's hair. The dye had taken about twenty minutes to work and now Ed was looking at himself in the mirror, sporting a short blond mohican style cut. Caroline had even dyed his eyebrows.
"You'll have to shave regularly." she told him, "Or your stubble will betray you. Oh and here."
She produced a small plastic case and opened it to reveal multiple pairs of blue contact lenses.
"One a day." she told him and proceeded to show him how to put them in. Ed did so and checked himself out again.
"I look stupid." he said.
"Perhaps. But you certainly don't look anything like you did before. A quick change of clothes and you're good to go." She showed him a pile on one of the tables. Baggy blue camo pants, a white vest-style t shirt, a short black leather jacket and a studded leather wristband.
"You might as well keep your trainers. They're a common enough style. I'll leave you to change."
Ed looked again at the outlandish hairstyle and his new blue eyes.
"Yeah... thanks."

Just a short while later Ed pushed open the door of Briefing Room 5 and went in.
"What a change." said Alf, clearly surprised. "I can barely tell it's you."
Ed shrugged.
"It feels weird, but I'll get used to it."
"Hopefully it won't be for too long." said Alf.
"So Beauclair?"
"Yes. I'd better fill you in hadn't I? Beauclair was already on his way over when I called him. He came to give you this."
Alf held up a silver metal device, not much bigger than a usb flash drive and with a similar look.
"He said it would let you into the vault at his place."
"How is he?" asked Ed, taking the device.
"Not good I'm afraid. He asked to see you when you were ready."
"Let's go."

Beauclair was laid out still on the gurney. He looked up weakly as Ed and Alf entered the room.
"Ed." he managed with a smile.
"You look terrible." said Ed.
"Too many... bullets." Beauclair replied. "It has been too long since I... fed. Rescuing you took... all I had..."
"He's dying, Ed." said Alf, "He needs to feed to heal."
Ed shook his head.
"I hope you're not suggesting..."
Beauclair shook his head and coughed. The movement of his body caused more blood to drip from the bullet holes in his chest and arms.
"No... All these years I... never broke my promise..."
"Well I appreciate the rescue." said Ed then held up the silver device. "What's this?"
Beauclair's eyes shone.
"I came to... bring you that... The Mother... she'll want what's in the... vault. She..." He broke out in a fresh fit of coughing.
"Beauclair told us of something called the Thrall, Ed." said Alf, taking over, "A form of brief mind control used by the vampires. He thinks this Mother will find his house and if she does he'd be unable to resist. She'd make him open the vault and help herself to whatever's inside."
"What's inside?"
"He wouldn't say. I don't think he trusts the Bureau, as an entity to keep whatever is in there a secret."
"And what if she finds me there?"
"You resisted Crowley's mind control before. Beauclair thinks you might be more resilient than most. Certainly more than he is."
"She will work fast." said Beauclair, "She may already... have been there. I disabled all the security... That key is the... only way in... use it on the retina scan..." He coughed violently again and lay back on the gurney, breathing shallowly.
Alf took Ed aside.
"He probably doesn't have long left but he gave us what information he could before he decided to rescue you from the army convoy. Modern weapons are useless against the vampires. The velocity of bullets is just too high. The bullet goes in, pierces whatever organs and exits again and the wound just closes up behind, assuming of course that the vampire has fed recently and we can be pretty sure she has. What intel we got about the Arctic base suggests the soldiers unloaded full magazines from assault rifles into her." he looked over at the dying vampire, "Just like they've done to Beauclair. But she's still out there walking around. Even if a bullet strikes bone or gets embedded somehow it will work its way out. The only thing they can't heal is an object embedded in the heart itself. Seems that way back in the past a well placed arrow or a brave stab with a knife could take them down but not easily."
"So those are my options?" asked Ed, "Cut off her head or shoot her with a longbow? There has to be something else."
Alf hesitated a moment.
"Beauclair said we could experiment... when he passes. There's a small chance, Ed, just a small one that we could find something that attacks his specific genetic makeup."
"Like a vampire virus?"
"Sort of. Vampires are immune to disease, from the common cold through to cancer and AIDS. But it's just possible that some substance or bacteria that we're immune to could prove deadly to them. Kind of like how a healthy human is immune to pneumocystis pneumonia but someone with HIV isn't. Their immune systems are so strong but hopefully we can find something they're weak to and an effective delivery method."
"Sounds like a long shot."
"That's because it is. In the meantime we got you something to take with you. Hopefully you won't run into her at Beauclair's place but if you do..."
Alf went over to a nearby table.
"A crossbow?" said Ed.
"The design is modern, small, handheld. I had RnD find a way to slow down the velocity of the bolt and alter the design." He held up one of the crossbow bolts. It was an unusual shape with spiked sections.
"It might just lodge itself if you get a clear shot off."
"Then let's not waste any time." said Ed. "I want to be there and back before the Mother even knows where Beauclair's place is."

Bitemarks 3.7

2010-02-23T10:59:00.003Z

Bitemarks 3.7

There was a ringing sound somewhere near Ed and he fished around in the well beneath the handbrake and pulled out a mobile phone and answered it. It was Alf on the other end.
"Ed? Where's Beauclair?"
"In the backseat." said Ed, glancing in the rearview mirror at the prone form of the elderly vampire. "He's not looking so hot."
"I've cleared the main entrance for you Ed. I'll talk you through the route."

--------------------------------------

Ed wasn't the only one on the move. Skarletta too was driving, making her way south. She'd taken the liberty earlier of memorising the basic layout of the globe and she knew where she had to go. There were many aspects of modern life she was still unsure of but something told her speed was critical. Her plan was pretty simple. She would ditch the car when she hit the southern coast, make her way across the Channel and acquire another vehicle once in France. Depending on the condition of her ship and the presence, or not, of the device she would have to consider her options once she reached that point. For now she had David left behind as one distraction and the shopkeeper as a second. With any luck they would spawn more and a cascade would begin. It wasn't ideal for her ultimate purpose but she could deal with that later.

------------------------------------------------

Ed revved the sports car along the dirt road that led to the Bureau's primary entrance. It wasn't long before he could see it looming up ahead of him, a hangar like entrance embedded in the base of the mountains. Private armed soldiers guarded the entrance but they had already been warned of Ed's arrival. The barrier was raised and Ed drove straight in, sliding the car to a stop. A group of people raced towards him, one shoving a gurney. They helped Beauclair from the back of the vehicle, looking pale and disoriented and loaded him onto the trolley. He was wheeled off as Alf approached Ed.
"I didn't send him, Ed. It was his idea."
"What was he doing here?"
"All in good time. First we need to take care of you. We've already got someone breaking into the police computers to remove your fingerprints and mugshot but we can't be too careful."
A young woman, probably in her mid twenties stepped forward.
"Ed, this is Caroline Rebert. A makeup artist we employ for such occasions. She'll look after you. I'll be in Briefing Room five when you're done."
Caroline smiled warmly.
"Come with me Ed. It's time to give you a makeover."
Ed followed Caroline as she led him off to one of the labs. It had been emptied of most obstructions and a large mirror set up against one wall. A lone scientist sat tapping away on a laptop. Caroline offered Ed a seat and he sat down.
"What exactly...?" he began.
"It's ok, Ed. I'm just going to make some temporary changes to your appearance. Alf tells me both the police and the army will be looking for you so we'll have to make a pretty drastic change to your usual appearance. First things first though."
The scientist stood up and came over.
"Dr Goeber." he introduced himself. "Your fingerprints will be off the police files soon enough and perhaps even the army's too but in the meantime, we can't be too careful." He reached over the table for a small glass bottle and a swab. "This is a compound we developed a couple of years ago. It works like acid. It's strong on a local scale but weak overall. It will take off your fingerprints, for a couple of weeks or so. It's painless, look."
He dipped the swab in the bottle and smeared it across one of his index fingers.
"It doesn't look like anything's happening." said Ed.
"It takes a few minutes." said Goeber. He showed Ed the index finger on his other hand. The finger was smooth where the print would usually be and a lighter shade of pink.
"It looks like a burn." said Ed.
"It is, really." said Goeber, "Although on a much smaller scale destructively. It will feel soft but no pain and after a week the soft skin will be replaced with your usual print coming through once more."
Ed offered his hand.
"Go ahead."
Goeber painted each one of Ed's fingers and his thumbs with the compound and applied sticking plasters over them.
"Keep the plasters on for an hour." he said, "That will be long enough."
"And now my turn." said Caroline, pointing Ed towards the mirror. "I'm afraid this hair is going to have to go." she told him, running her fingers through his locks.
Ed sighed.
"Do what you have to do."

Bitemarks 3.6

2010-02-19T14:50:00.004Z

Bitemarks 3.6

Beauclair stared at Ed's cage then clambered over to him and gripped the bars. He pulled and strained against the alloy.
"What's going on?" asked Ed.
"There is... no time." said Beauclair, tugging with all his might, "They will come round... soon."
"They're not dead?"
"Dead? No... unconscious..." Beauclair gave up tugging on the bars. They had bent only slightly. He dived back out of the truck and returned a minute or two later with a set of keys in his hands. He tried the lock on the cage until he found the key that opened it. Ed raised his hands, showing the cuffs and Beauclair tried the keys on those too and found one that fit. Uncaged and unshackled Ed followed Beauclair from the vehicle.
"Follow me." said the vampire and led Ed off to the right of the truck. They scrambled up the embankment to where the road curled back on itself up above. There waiting was a red sports car. Ed turned back to look over the scene. The sun was already rising and bathed the smashed truck in a warm glow that contrasted sharply with the crushed front end and the heavy tree trunk it had struck. Beauclair fished another pair of keys from his pocket and tossed them to Ed.
"You drive." he said, opening the rear door and sliding himself onto the backseat. Ed didn't need telling twice. He yanked the driver door open, got in and fired up the engine.

----------------------------------------

Skarletta yawned. She'd been sitting in the car for way too long waiting for the owner to show up and open his shop. She checked the clock on the dashboard. Any minute now. As if by magic, the shopkeeper appeared and raised up the shutters on the door. As he unlocked the door itself Skarletta made her move. In mere seconds she was out of the car, across the pavement and pushing the shopkeeper roughly inside the building. He tumbled into a heap on the floor and Skarletta thrust the Thrall upon him.
"Keys." she demanded and he handed them over.
Skarletta pulled the shutters back down and locked the door from the inside. That done she released the wretched creature from the Thrall. She couldn't afford to expend too much power so quickly. Back in control of his own mind the shopkeeper scrambled to his feet, fear evident upon his face.
"What the..."
Skarletta grabbed him by the throat in a grip that ensured he wouldn't dare fight back and stared deep into his panicked eyes.
"If you wish to remain alive you will answer my questions and do so truthfully." she said, giving him a few seconds to let the message sink in. She gave an extra squeeze, just to re-enforce her point. The man nodded gingerly.
"I..." he began.
"Irrelevant." said Skarletta. She pulled a piece of paper from her pocket. The scanned page of Karal text David had printed off.
"This writing. It's from a book you sold. You remember that book?"
The man gulped and nodded. The fear had made his breath grow ragged and his lips were dry. Skarletta loosened her grip a little. "Who did you sell it to?"
"A foreigner." gasped the man, "I don't remember the details."
Skarletta squeezed again.
"I have it stored on the computer." he squealed. "I'll show you, I'll show you. Please don't kill me."
Skarletta let go and the man fell to the floor once again. He scrabbled a few feet away and stood up.
"Show me." said Skarletta. "And I warn you. One stupid move and I can kill you in a second." To make sure he understood she took a step over to the shop counter and picked up the phone upon it. She held the handset in one hand and crushed it into pieces. The shopkeeper nodded. He got the message. He moved over to the computer and switched it on, looking nervously as Skarletta came up behind him to look at the screen. The operating system booted up and prompted him for a password. He tapped it in and waited for the desktop to load.
"What are you...?" he asked tentatively.
Skarletta gave a wry grin.
"That isn't important."
The man looked back to the computer screen and clicked the mouse.
"Just a sec." He said, clicking through a few folders until he found the file he wanted. "Here, here it is."
Skarletta pushed him back, away from the screen and looked.
"This man bought both books?" she asked.
"Yes and other related artefacts."
"That's his current address?"
"I... I don't know. It's the address he gave. I sent the books there."
Skarletta closed the file and the folders.
"That will suffice." she said, turning back to face the man.
"I did what you asked." he said, trying to edge away from her.
"And I promised you would live." she said. Her hand shot up again but this time not to grab his throat. It was a punch and a solid one at that, colliding neatly with his temple. If she had wanted she could have killed him with the blow but that was not her intention. She caught him by the neck of his shirt as his legs gave way and tilted his head to one side, exposing the bare skin of his neck. Her fangs shot down from their sheaths and she opened her mouth wide and then clamped down...

Two Poems

2010-02-17T13:26:00.002Z

A quick break from Bitemarks to share some words and some poetry.

First off. What's new? Well. I think I mentioned I bought a new computer somewhere near Christmas. Since then I've bought a 5.1 gaming headset and today bought the Sims 3 with expansions. Hooray! Plenty of gaming fun which I'll no doubt find time for somewhere.
Then there's the ongoing dental work. I have yet another temporary filling plugging the hole that I'm still dubious even existed until it was drilled there by the dentist. ¬¬ I have that for a month when I get to have root canal surgery to remove the nerve in the tooth and hopefully, finally, get a proper filling in its place. I'm expecting to be in some pain that week (circa 18th March) so make a note that there probably won't be any Bitemarks at that point.
Other than that I found the time to do a little reading on brain structure. For personal research. :P
I was also pleased to see Terry Pratchett kicking up a media shitstorm by announcing his wish to undergo euthanasia if his mind deteriorates beyond his acceptable standards. Good for him. I'm all for assisted suicide.
I also inwardly cheered for the Sikh who won the right to be cremated on an open air funeral pyre of sorts, essentially rewriting Britain's laws on what consists a 'building' in that crematoriums (crematoria?) can now have a hole in the roof to comply with Sikh cremation rituals! Hurrah! A victorious blow not only for multiculturalism but also for people's right to choose. I've always fancied open air cremation myself. Congratulations Davender Ghai. there are still many people trying to oppose this but to honest... why? O_O People are so fucking picky.

And that's 2010 so far in a nutshell. On with some poetry. I have two pieces for you. Both are free verse. The first was just one of those 'It's 3am get the fuck out of my head so I can sleep' pieces. The second is a misanthropic view of the declining standards of modern Britain, covering alcoholism, knife crime, childhood obesity, pollution, ignorance, poor education standards, poverty, welfare and the failing economy, that was really just an excuse to have a good play with words and sounds which I haven't done for so long. ^^

Void

All he ever wanted was to dream
In pictures
Not words
Never ending lexicomanic obsession
And at night
Restless
Sleepless
He feels like he's falling
Tumbling through the void where his sanity once resided
They always said he looked vacant
And inside his head there's so much room
Where did all the memories go?

© Charon 2010

Rule Britannia

The Sceptered Isle
Now a septic pile
Of alcoholic sponges, vile
And bloated with bile
Devoted to defile
Carbon based knife forms
Hardened faced deformed crime spawns
Her Majesty's objectionable subjects
Doing life in housing projects
Mired deep
Dire, bleak
Their circumstances
Too weak
To take their chances
Sit and reek
Inked defeat on rancid skin
Patter of not so tiny feet
Let the next generation begin
Smell the meat
Our climate's changing
Recycled hope won't pave the streets
Of tomorrow's daydream
Scream
In frustration at the here 'n' now 'n'
Offer these thugs next decade's power?
As amnesty?
We'll see
When the unemployable have no one left
To pay for their enjoyable
Travail bereft existence
No public coffers to offer assistance
Persistent offenders
The last defenders
Of the crumbling empire
Rue Britannia

© Charon 2010

Bitemarks 3.5

2010-02-16T15:41:00.002Z

Oh joy. Root canal surgery next month. Lucky old me.

Bitemarks 3.5

Ed did his best to nap for his remaining two hours. Whether they were on time or not he couldn't tell. All he was aware of was the sound of the door being unlocked and opened as he came round. Two soldiers marched into the room, both wielding assault rifles trained on Ed. one at head height, one at the chest. Clearly they were taking this threat seriously. A third soldier, probably the one who'd being guarding the door, entered with a pair of cuffs in his hands. They were different from standard police handcuffs. Ed even knew what they were. The Bureau had developed them to restrain various superstrength creatures. Werewolves initially. No surprise that the technology had eventually been sold on to the army. But Ed didn't have superstrength. To him they were not really any different from the cuffs he'd been led to the cell in. He offered his wrists and the soldier slipped the cuffs on and locked them. A blue led indicated they were live. Remote controlled shock cuffs, Ed knew. Not that it mattered. Any escape attempt would be futile. And so Ed let them lead him from the station, a blanket over his head in case of any stealth photography.
When the blanket was finally removed Ed was in the rear of the armoured vehicle. It was some form of all terrain truck he guessed. The innards had various metal panels welded into position and he couldn't begin to guess at what lay beneath them. They hadn't taken any chances. Even from the inside it looked built to take impact. A series of vertical bars sealed Ed off from the rearmost section of the truck, where his two armed guards sat. Ed didn't need to examine them to know what alloy they were made of. They had the same colouration as the bars of the cage they'd kept Grace in. The panels too now he took the time to look. Ed was actually impressed. If they'd somehow caught The Mother instead of him this cage just might hold her. And so Ed sat back and waited as they drove through the morning darkness. Away from the city. And out to who knows where...

----------------------------------------------

Ed was watching his captors through the bars. They hadn't spoke to one another. Had barely shifted position except to occasionally glance at Ed. Not so much as a cough since they'd left the...
"What the..."
There was a screech of tires accompanying that voice from up ahead and the truck lurched violently. Ed was thrown up against one side and then up towards the roof as the rear end of the truck seemed to lift up from the floor. For a second it felt as though the vehicle was airborne then the rear end hit the floor again with a thump, jolting Ed once more, hard into the metal panels. Ed winced and clutched his head where it had struck the wall. Through the bars he could see his guards regaining their footing and reaching for their weapons. There was another sound from outside the vehicle. Gunfire, from an automatic weapon. Then a scream, then silence. Ed's guards looked at one another and held a brief whispered conversation before checking their weapons and opening the rear door. They both left, the doors closing shut behind them. From his prison all Ed could do was wait and listen. More gunfire. It sounded like both the soldiers were firing in short controlled bursts. He heard the clang of metal on metal as some of the shots hit the vehicle. Then more shouts. And then more ominous silence. Ed braced himself for the worst. Something struck the back of the truck and it shifted under the impact. What was going on? Was it The Mother? Or someone thinking they could steal her? An army of her spawn? Whatever was pounding the doors was actually having an impact and here and there the metal was beginning to buckle. Soon there was a terrible scraping sound and the leftmost door was torn clean from its hinges and flung aside. Pressing himself up against one wall Ed looked out into the darkness.
"Ed?"
He didn't recognise the voice straight away, but as the head came into view, peering into the truck Ed recognised the face. Climbing inside and bleeding heavily from numerous bullet wounds was Beauclair.

Bitemarks 3.4

2010-02-15T12:22:00.004Z

The annoying thing about having only one day off in a week is that I have to spend it catching up on everything. I have two, yes two poems waiting to be typed up tomorrow and a dentist appointment and a bunch of other things. But lucky for you I can squeeze a Bitemarks in today. Now, where were we?

Bitemarks 3.4

Ed woke up to the sound of the hatch on the door opening. He hadn't been asleep very long. There was no way it was morning yet.
"That's him?"
"Yeah."
He didn't recognize the first voice but the second was the cop who'd arrested him.
"We thought it was gonna be a woman."
The hatch shut and Ed sprang from the bed and pressed his ear to the door. The rest of the conversation was muffled through the thick door.
"So what now?"
That was the cop again.
"I'm standing guard by this door 'til they finish armouring the transport and send it over. Shouldn't take them too long."
"He's really that dangerous?"
"I'm not authorised to give you details but if he gets out of there or tries anything I'm to shoot and the same goes for every cop in this place. You understand?"
"Yeah. Shit. I thought there was something funny about him, you know? Didn't think he was the guy you looking for 'til the prints matched."
"Well in another couple of hours it won't be your problem any more."
That was all they said and Ed presumed the cop had left. They'd mentioned prints and from the sound of it Ed guessed it was the army. They must think he was responsible for what had happened at the Arctic base. He thought he'd wiped off every print and mentally kicked himself for being sloppy. They must have been checking the police databases as he was brought in. Suddenly things didn't look so good. It was one thing for Alf to arrange to have him released from a police cell. But in the hands of the army and an armoured vehicle? He tapped on the hatch and called out.
"What time is it?"
"Two thirty am, sir."
Ed was surprised his guard had responded. Two thirty. His escort then was expected around four thirty. These guys worked fast. Whatever base they came from must be close. Aborfield? Ed didn't know the distance exactly but it seemed possible. If they took him there, what chance of escape would there be?

Something interesting.

2010-02-11T13:33:00.004Z

Fulke Greville. You know, I'd always dismissed the theory as rubbish. People want to believe in conspiracies and this simply gives the academics something to argue about, to be divided over, to sneeringly deride the common man "Bah, You think Shakespeare actually wrote The Tempest? You know nothing."

Turns out there may be more to it than I thought. O_O

This caught my eye in the papers today.

Could it be that there may be proof that Greville wrote Shakespeare's works? :o

And if that's true... How did Shakes get credited for them all at the time if it really was so painfully obvious that he was 'barely literate' as it has been said. :S

And if it only proves that Greville wrote some of Shakespeare's works, do we then presume him to have written them all?

This is a lot to think about.

Oh baby.

2010-02-10T18:49:00.001Z

http://www.verbatim-europe.co.uk/en_1/product_5-1-channel-gaming-usb-headset_15786.html

Woohoo!!! :D Suddenly my previous headset sounds so pathetic. Pete and I are stepping it up a notch. ^^ Online gaming is gonna be so awesome.

Bitemarks 3.3

2010-02-09T19:21:00.004Z

Bitemarks 3.3

With his hands cuffed behind him Ed was chaperoned, unceremoniously, towards a desk at the nearest police station. The bored looking officer behind it pulled a fresh form from a pile.
"Name?"
"Dale Fletcher."
This was the first part of the system.
"Address?"
"32 Westcroft Avenue, It's in Bradford." Ed said. And it was. A real address, registered to one Dale Fletcher. If they bothered to check they'd find the bills paid from Mr Fletcher's account regularly and a passport and driver's licence proving Ed to be Dale Fletcher.
"Post code?"
"BD12 3FG."
It wasn't perfect. If they looked hard enough they'd realise it to be fake in the end. But it would buy time. Ed wasn't sure what for exactly.
The officer addressed the other policeman holding Ed.
"Charges?"
The arresting officer placed Ed's gun down on the desk, and the clip he'd removed from it.
"Possession of an unlicensed firearm. Unknown model, no serial number. Discharge of an unlicensed firearm in a public place. That's it until we question him, but possible connection to a murder as well."
The desk cop didn't bat an eyelid. He just wrote it all down then sealed the gun and clip in clear plastic pouches and placed them in a safe behind him.
"Sign here."
Ed waited while he was uncuffed then signed Dale's signature at the bottom of the form.
"Right, come on, with me." barked the arresting officer, tugging Ed down the corridor.

Fingerprints were the next stop and after that Ed was bundled down more corridors, past security gates, to the cells. His escort pushed him through and locked the door behind him. He stopped to open the hatch on the door and peered through.
"We'll be back for you in the morning. You can ring your lawyer then, unless you need us to provide one?"
"I have my own." said Ed. Sure it looked bad but he wasn't about to let this faze him. The system existed for a reason. He had all faith in Alf. The cop slammed the hatch shut and bolted it. Ed looked around at his room for the night. An off white mattress with thin grey blanket and a stainless steel box that was no doubt the lavatory. It was bolted to the floor as was the bed and overhead a dome camera sat nestled in the roof, a single red LED its only feature. Ed lay down on the bed and tried to sleep.

-----------------------------

Skarletta looked up from her papers as David entered.
"What happened to you?"
"I was shot..."
Skarletta came over to him and examined the wound.
"Hmmph. It'll heal. Lie down."
A foolish mistake, she thought to herself. David had given away their location and being so caught up in the remembrance of her mission she'd forgotten to spawn more distractions. No matter.
"David. I have to go to Coventry." she waved the papers he'd printed off as explanation. "You stay here. Rest up. It shouldn't take me long."
She neglected to tell him she wouldn't be returning. From Coventry she would go straight to find her ship, leaving more spawn in her wake. If she had further need of David she could return for him and if not he'd suit his purpose as a diversion for anyone trying to follow her.
"Do you need to me to do anything while you're gone?"
Skarletta shook her head.
"I have all the information I need for now. Oh. Wait, there is one more thing. You do have a car, right?"

Just a chuckle.

2010-02-08T11:57:00.002Z

Smile, it's Monday. :)

Oh Myspace... Thanks for trying.

-----------------------------

Revenge!

----------------------------

And my recent attempts to sign up for AOL Instant Messenger. Thanks for reminding me why I hate you, AOL.

Bitemarks 3.2

2010-02-06T22:55:00.003Z

Bitemarks 3.2

"What is it?" Skarletta asked, not looking up from the sheets of printed paper she held in her hands.
"I need to feed again..." said David, wringing his hands. Skarletta sighed and looked up at him.
"Then go feed child. You do not require my permission or blessing. Come, go, as you please. Just as long as this research is completed as quickly as possible."
He hung there for a moment.
"Begone!" she cried, swinging an arm in the direction of the doorway and watching as he scampered off.
She turned her attention back to the documents she held. He'd done a good job. She had to give him credit for that. She had expected it to take longer but already she could see many things of interest to her.
Firstly the planet's fluctuating temperatures. Not particularly out of its original tolerance either way. This was enough to convince her that either the device had not been activated, or if it had it must be too far away from the magnetic pole which had caused it to malfunction. Had she had it on her all those years ago at the Arctic? Or, as she presumed, had she been there on recon, the device still safely stored aboard her ship. And that raised the ultimate question, who had her ship now? Where was it? And the answer loomed back at her from another sheet of paper. Copies of information relating to the sale of two books written in an unknown script sold to an overseas collector by an antiques dealer in Coventry. It was close enough that she wanted to visit it. She needed to find out who had bought these two books. She had no doubt that they were written in Karal. Everything she had researched about unknown scripts had pointed to two things. A useless book called the Voynich manuscript that she had already determined was not written in Karal, and a scanned page that was definitely written in Karal taken from one of the two books. There were others of course, but even her eyes could discount them as old, half-formed Dherroine languages or works of fanciful gibberish or complex ciphers invented by novelists. No, these books were definitely Karal in origin and whoever bought them knew damn well what they were buying and Skarletta would bet her life that they knew where her ship was.

Ed stood near his parked car and looked over the edge. He'd parked on top of a multi-story carpark, giving a decent view of an area of the city around where the bodies were found. He looked out over that area now with a pair of nightvision goggles. He hadn't seen anything unusual in the last few hours and neither had Katia yet. He pushed the goggles up onto his forehead and returned to the car and slid into the driver's seat. On the passenger seat behind him was the laptop. He sent Katia an instant message.
"Anything yet?"
and then checked his mail to see if there was any more news from the Bureau. His inbox was still empty and the instant messenger application beeped at him. He checked Katia's reply.
"Not a thing. I'm gonna leave the car, take a look around. Maybe ask a few people."
He sent back a quick "OK" then went back to his post. The view was good up here but maybe he should follow Katia's lead and take a look around street level too. He tossed the goggles back into the car and locked it then made his way down the car park.

A few minutes later he exited the car park and looked around the streets. No surprise they were empty. Most people were tucked up in bed by this time on a Monday night. He took a left, making for one of the quieter side streets. The most recent bodies had been found not far from here. Just a street or two away...
A scream cut through the air at that moment and Ed's ears pricked up. He'd heard the direction it came from and ran without thinking into a darkened alleyway. There was a shorter cry, much quieter this time, but close. Around the next corner, thought Ed as he ran. He reached the next right hand turn and stopped, peering around the corner. Less than ten feet from him a man held a woman up against the wall. The lack of light made it difficult to see but the man had the woman pinned and was leaning close. Ed could swear he was leaning in to bite. He reached under his coat and pulled his gun and stepped out from his cover.
"Hold it!" He called, raising the gun and aiming at the man. He let go of the woman, who fell to the floor. It may have been dark but Ed was certain she was dead already. The man seemed indecisive, not knowing what to do faced with this threat. Fight or flee? He made the latter choice and as he ran Ed fired after him. Just one shot, he saw it strike him, saw his footing slip for a second, and then he was gone. Ed moved to the woman, reached down and felt her neck. He hadn't bitten her but she was dead. He moved the head a little and confirmed what he'd thought. Her neck had been snapped. He stood back up and was about to holster the gun and return to the car when another voice shouted out behind him.
"Freeze buddy!"
Ed froze.
"Hold it right there mister. Hold the gun out, arm's length."
Ed did so.
"Drop it, kick it away and turn round."
Ed sighed. This was something every agent dreaded. He knew without looking that it was a cop behind him, with gun drawn no doubt. He couldn't run for risk of being shot. He couldn't fire on him, both out of conscience and Bureau rules. There was a system in place. A system every agent knew only too well and hoped they never had to implement. Ed dropped the gun and kicked it aside and turned around. He'd been right of course and the cop kept his gun trained on him.
"Is she dead?"
"Yes." said Ed. There was no need to lie.
"Lie down with your hands on your head."
Ed did so and heard the cop radio in for backup. This was going to be a long night...

Bitemarks 3.1

2010-02-06T13:00:00.002Z

Bitemarks 3.1

Ed ran into Alf by the main desk at the Bureau and didn't waste any time.
"What's the news, Alf?" he asked, eager to know what he'd missed.
"Well, we think we've found where she is, Ed." said Alf. He motioned Ed to follow him and they made for a briefing room, talking as they walked.
"Military security has been tightened since the Arctic Incident but we did discover that the troops posted to investigate came from Aborfield. In recent years it's been reestablished as one of the major army bases in England. The chopper was returning there when the 'Mother' presumably escaped. Now..."
They reached the door and Alf opened it and walked in. There were photos of various kinds already spread out on the table and pinned to a notice board against one wall.
"Three notable deaths over the last two or three days in Birmingham." He pointed to one aerial picture.
"It's on the flightpath as the chopper returned to Aborfield and that's also around where the army tried to make contact with it. Police intel we gathered on the three murders marks two of them as definite vampiric activity. A woman, found yesterday night. Bite marks on the neck, severe blood loss. The police are confused but this has to be a feeding victim. I've already sent Katia to go check out the surrounding area. The second was a couple, found just an hour ago. Their bodies were in a dumpster, same deal, feeding victims."
"And the third?"
"A man. He wasn't fed upon but he was mutilated. Poor guy had his cock torn right off. They found it twenty feet away... I can't even begin to imagine why... but that has to be our vampire too."
"Wanton sadism?"
Alf shrugged.
"Who knows, Ed? But it was only a short distance away from where they found the first young woman. Did I mention the woman was found naked?"
"She took her clothes? Well that makes sense. She's trying to blend in."
"Which doesn't make it any easier to find her."
"So what now?"
"I want you in Birmingham. You and Katia. She has a police scanner and I'll give you one too. Take a laptop and we'll keep an eye on things and direct you as necessary. If we can at least narrow the area down... Someone must have seen something unusual."
"And when we find her?"
"She's dangerous, Ed. First of all we just need to see what she looks like, where she's hiding, what she's up to."
"And how do we kill her?"
"I... I don't know, Ed. We don't have any real methods from the archives other than the beheading tactic used during the cull. We can rule some things out straight out of the myths though. Sunlight, running water, garlic, crucifixes. All bullshit."
"Then get hold of Beauclair. He must know something. I'll head over to Birmingham now. As soon as you know something, update me."

Postponed.

2010-02-01T12:31:00.001Z

I'm now on painkillers and anti-biotics. It could be an abscess. I'm postponing Bitemarks until I recover from this. Sorry.

Bitemarks 2.7

2010-01-29T11:11:00.002Z

My teeth hurt. :( But I know people are waiting. I also notice we're getting a little asynchronous, which is why we're still with Skarletta.

Bitemarks 2.7

Skarletta awoke, the memory of her death still fresh in her mind. The frozen wastes of the Arctic. Why had she been there? The pieces were definitely coming together. Soon she would know. She got up and went to the window, peeking out through the curtain. Night had fallen and a blue led clock beside David's bed showed 12:30 am. And David himself? He was asleep on the floor. She leaned over him and sniffed. The transformation was complete. His immune system had been overpowered by her venom and now he was just like her. Well, almost. Certainly enough to suffice. She jostled him with her foot until he awoke and saw the pained expression on his face. He clutched at his stomach and groaned.
"It hurts..."
"It's the hunger." she told him, "You know what that means?"
He nodded weakly.
"Come on, get up." she continued. "We'll go feed."

They didn't have to go far to find their victims. There were people still in the streets, making their way home from whatever nighttime entertainment they'd indulged in. Skarletta waited until she detected a young couple who didn't have incredible volumes of alcohol in their bloodstream and then she and David stalked them. The attack was quick, Skarletta was too seasoned a killer and the couple offered little resistance. She showed David how to locate the veins and release his fangs. He was a messy feeder but he'd learn soon enough. Afterwards Skarletta dumped the bodies in a skip in an alley behind a restaurant.
"Let's go back." she said, "I have things I need to know."

Back at David's house Skarletta booted up his computer.
"You are proficient at using this device?" she asked him.
"Yeah." David nodded, "What is it you were looking for?"
"I still don't know. Something important. Something I was doing before..." she trailed off, looking at the various posters around his bedroom.
"Who's that?" she asked, pointing at one that showed a bald man wearing an unusual black and red top.
"Captain Picard. He's a fictional character from a tv show? Star Trek?"
"Star... trek...?"
"It's about the future, when humans have gone into space and begun exploring the stars."
Skarletta laughed.
"Dherroine? In space? Hah. Your people lack the brains for such an endeavour."
"They already made it to the moon."
Skarletta's eyes flashed wide.
"They've already left the planet?"
"Sure."
Whatever mental barriers blocked her memory of the past gave way and everything came flooding back in that instant. That was the important thing. If they'd already managed to produce craft capable of reaching the moon then her time was running out! That was what she was doing in the Arctic! The device! Her ship!
She grabbed David by the shoulders.
"My ship. We need my ship. Those centuries wasted while I lay in the ice! It must still be here somewhere."
She pointed to the computer.
"Find out who has it."
"How?"
"Karal. All who are spawned speak it. Find out everything you can about anyone involved with anything that could be linked to me."
"It's going to take time..."
"Then you'd best begin immediately."
"And what will you do?"
Skarletta drummed her fingers against her thigh. What did she need to do...? The Arctic? She thought for a moment.
"Get me some information first. Climate reports. Scientific journals. Temperatures over the last few hundred years. Air composition. Soil mineral levels. I need to know if the device was activated and... see if you can find any lists of unusual electromagnetic signals. It's always possible that some foolish Dherroine accidentally activated the device or something else on my ship that we could trace."

Angel's Mansion

2010-01-25T16:41:00.004Z

A virtual walk around Angel's mansion by the waterfall in Sims 3. This is aimed at one specific person but you're all welcome to comment. :P
Pictures are cropped due to size, click them to see the full size picture. (Photobucket window opens in new tab, click the picture in that window to make full size).

Starting with a long shot of 53a Waterfall Way showing the house and the waterfall.

Front of the house, showing fishpond, signpost, front door and two cars.

Close up of cars. In the foreground, Angel's customized sports car. In the background, Randall's Police Cruiser.

Front door, showing entryway, customized mailbox/dustbin and personal fire hydrant.

Long shot of the ground floor showing floorplan.

Entering through the front door we have the ancillary hallway. Statue of Venus plus a Masterpiece painting by Randall.

Turning left from the statue of Venus we see the archway that leads us through into the main hall.

A view down the main hall.

First room on the right from the main hall is the kitchen.

First door on the left leads to the Lounge.
Widescreen Plasma TV.

And custom fireplace (with blue fire).

Second door on the right leads to the Dining Room.

The windows look out over the waterfall.

A shot looking backwards along the main hall (ie the reverse of the previous Main Hall shot.

The archway at the end of the main hall leads into this perpendicular corridor. The statue is of Atlas. The stairs lead up to the next floor but we're not going up them yet.

Randall's Bedroom.

Angel's Room. Note the portrait of Angel and another of his wife. The guitar in the room is gold.

The two identical downstairs bathrooms.

Reverse view of that corridor. In picture, Angel's wife Christina and Angel's daughter, Zara.

Bird's eye view of the pool/gym.

Closer view of the gym section.

Closer view of the pool section.

Shot of the study (from the doorway). In picture, Randall, painting.

Reverse angle shot of the study. In picture, Angel and Angel's daughter, Blaze.

Last view of the corridor to show staircase fully.

Upstairs corridor.

Doorway to master bedroom.

Master bedroom with cribs for the twins.

Door to playroom.

Playroom.

Upstairs bathroom with potty facilities.

This archway at the top of the stairs leads into another hallway that sits on top of the main hall downstairs.

And that hallway itself. Currently there are no doors on the right hand side as there are no rooms above the pool/gym, study and lounge.

But it does have two doors on the left which lead into...

Blaze's bedroom.

Which has one of the best views in the house through that bay window.

And Zara's room.

Which also has a beautiful view out onto the waterfall.

And that's it. The mansion so far. Currently valued at a little over 300'000 simoleons.

As a bonus here's the pic of Angel playing one of his customized guitars which might look better in the higher resolution offered by Facebook.

:) Nice? Hope you like the decor. I spent a long time debating floorings, wall coverings, little details like the magazine strewn coffee table in the main hall and the dual flooring in the gym/pool. All paintings were painted by Randall or Alan and vary in value from 2'000 to 4'500 simoleons.
The second easel is a spare that belonged to Alan before he went to the Netherworld.
The guitars all belong to Angel (four in total). One animal print, which was his very first from the old house. Two blue flame guitars (one for the house, one for his inventory), and the solid gold one in the bedroom that he wished to buy after becoming a rockstar.
There are various certificates dotted about which may or may not be visible that belong as follows.
Study - Painting - Randall.
Study - Writing - Alan.
Gym - Athletics - Angel.
Angel's bedroom - Guitar - Charisma - Angel.
Kitchen - Cooking - Randall.

Bitemarks 2.6

2010-01-22T14:08:00.002Z

Yeesh, I dunno. It was only Monday yesterday. What happened?! O_O

Bitemarks 2.6

Skarletta was dreaming. Dreaming of that last two days before her death. There were three main tribes she remembered living there in the snows. She'd always tried to be careful but with such small populations it was probably only a matter of time until she slipped up. She'd spawned of course, to divert attention away from herself. But one tribe member came across her feeding one night without her knowledge and had reported it to the tribal chief. They'd hounded her from the settlement forcing her to run and run she had. She ran across the snows all night to the second tribe and there she sought shelter. But her safety there was shortlived and soon a messenger arrived, to pass on the news of the ungodly creature walking among them. Skarletta heard them coming for her and made her way to the last place she knew. The village of the third tribe. That was to be her downfall. All the time she had known herself mentally superior to these Dherroine but the first chief was about to surprise her. He had anticipated her reaction and had already sent a messenger to the third tribe. That alone would have meant little, but so too had he sent all his able warriors to lie in ambush. When Skarletta arrived at the third settlement its warriors awaited her with their crude weapons of stone and bone. The warriors of the first tribe sprang their ambush and closed in from behind. Trapped in between the two tribes Skarletta had no choice but to fight. She was fast of course and stronger than any individual Dherroine but their numbers were great. She killed many that day but the rain of spears and arrows took its toll on her. The running from one tribe to the other had weakened her and when they closed in with daggers and heavy clubs it was only a matter of time until one struck her a lucky blow across the head. Many more were quick to take advantage of her dazed state and standing in the blood drenched snow, surrounded by the dead of both tribes, Skarletta was brutally beaten into unconsciousness.

It was some time until she awoke. What was left of her energy had healed her many wounds. The tribes had seen this as they bound her and spoke of devil magic. The third tribe's chief was the first to suggest it was her who had caused the arrival of the others, members of their own tribe who exhibited this magical healing and thirst for blood. It was he too who suggested the only way to rid themselves of that curse was to sacrifice her to the Great Bird God. And unanimously, Skarletta's fate was decided. At noon she was dragged to the top of the Hill of the Bird God and shackled to the stone altar there, usually used only for animal sacrifice. She is an animal, said the third chief, and thus would they offer her to the Bird God as one.

She could still recall how they slashed at her throat and wrists and neck and ankles, severing veins, arteries and tendons. She remembered the look of disgust on the face of the third chief as he slashed at her throat again when it healed over. For an hour they bled her this way until she was too weak to struggle at her bonds any further. And then the third chief took his polished obsidian dagger and drove it through her ribcage into her heart with all his might. Her screams filled the air and she used one final burst of energy to try and escape her bonds. Her shifting body weight wrenched the dagger from the chief's grip and she felt it shift inside of her. Angrily he reached for its handle and tore it free of her chest. The blade splintered as it withdrew, leaving a small shard within and as the blood flowed freely from the wound Skarletta felt herself drifting away...

Bitemarks 2.5

2010-01-18T12:29:00.005Z

Bitemarks 2.5

Skarletta looked around David's batchelor pad. It was a single bedroom, kitchen, small lounge and bathroom in an old converted house. The only real signs of decoration were various posters, mostly in the bedroom but she paid them no mind. David stood idly by, still locked in the Thrall. Skarletta sighed to herself. She had relied so heavily on the Thrall to get others to do her bidding but it was not a simple task to maintain. It drained her and spawning David would take its toll too. She would have to feed again tonight. She looked over at her target. He was not physically strong, not that it mattered, the transformation process would improve his strength. The important part is that he would retain his knowledge and skills. She just knew that was going to come in useful. There was little point her delaying longer than necessary. She slid over to him and bent his head to one side exposing the veins on his neck. She could feel the blood screaming through his veins, begging her for release. Such a simple biological process. One of the things she had seen on the internet was a snake that injects its venom through hollow fangs. Not entirely dissimilar she thought as her own fangs slid down from their protective sheaths and punctured his skin. She took but a sip of blood through them, just for the taste, then injected him with her venom. He didn't resist, though his limbs twitched in faint struggle against the foreign substance now overwhelming his immune system. She knew exactly how much he needed and when she was done she pushed him to one side and he collapsed upon the floor, still twitching. She let him loose of the Thrall. It was done. He would be powerless for a few hours until the transformation was complete. He would need to feed then, as would she. She made her way over to his bed and flopped down onto it. She would sleep 'til then.

--------------------------------------

Ed was awoken by the sound of his mobile phone ringing. Groggily he reached for it and answered.
"Yeah?"
"Ed, you lazy little fucker."
It was Tony, lead guitarist for Poleaxe, Ed's ex bandmate.
"Tony? What time is it?"
"1 pm you hardcore little party bastard. Musta been a good night. Now listen up, 'cos I've only got a few minutes. We've managed to snag a fucking cushty little gig. You remember when we were starting out we played that metal club down near Stanley Park?"
"Satan's Armpit?" Ed remembered it well. It had been the band's first big break.
"Yeah that's the fella. Well they're having one fucktastic New Year's Eve party and we're taking main slot! Right through the fucking countdown son! They want us to play "Atomic Bomb"."
Ed knew the song well with its catchy chorus, 'Time to explode, here comes the motherload, three two one like an atomic bomb!'. Fitting, he supposed. One of Tony's twisted creations about Nuclear War breaking out on New Year's Eve. Tony was still rambling in his ear.
"Very strict access list yeah? But I have a couple of guest passes heading your way for the gig and afterparty backstage. And Ed, I said a couple bitch, bring a friend. Don't turn up alone, eh Chuckles? I ain't taking no for an answer either before you think about pussying out. All work and no play..."
Somewhere in the background Ed faintly heard another voice.
"Tony, for fuck's sake man. We're waiting on you. This shit ain't cheap!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming Derek, keep your fucking panties on! Listen Ed, I gotta go. We've started recording the new album. It's gonna blow you to shit. We'll be doing a preview track at the gig. Don't take your eyes off the fucking postbox. Laters."
Tony hung up and Ed sunk back into his bed. This actually sounded like a welcome distraction. Once this mess was all over and everything had returned to something resembling normal... Well it would be nice to see how his bandmates were doing and nice to return to their roots in Stanley Park. But first he had a vampire to take care of. Time for him to get back to the Bureau and find out what had happened overnight.

Ahem

2010-01-14T20:40:00.002Z

So I was just reading when I came across Twenty Rules for Writing Detective Stories, a list by S.S. Van Dine published in 1928.
It's here if you wish to see.
http://gaslight.mtroyal.ca/vandine.htm

I couldn't help but be delighted by this rule.

16. A detective novel should contain no long descriptive passages, no literary dallying with side-issues, no subtly worked-out character analyses, no "atmospheric" preoccupations. such matters have no vital place in a record of crime and deduction. They hold up the action and introduce issues irrelevant to the main purpose, which is to state a problem, analyze it, and bring it to a successful conclusion. To be sure, there must be a sufficient descriptiveness and character delineation to give the novel verisimilitude.

Clearly I am not the first to note overly lengthy descriptive devices as little more than distraction, wasting time and steering the reader's attention away from the lack of action!
Glad someone agrees with me.

Bitemarks 2.4

2010-01-13T14:31:00.004Z

Bitemarks 2.4

Ed left the base and jogged back to his car. He was still fuming inside and felt the jog take the edge off it slightly. He didn't fancy going home and remembered the gym at his dad's place. He had the key. Well, it was his place now. He might as well make the most of this downtime. If he was honest with himself he knew his anger was becoming a distraction. He reached the car, slipped behind the wheel and headed off to his dad's house. Maybe it was time he should start thinking about moving in there. His place had the soundproof room but his dad's place was far more isolated. He could sell that pokey little house with its defaced windows, not that he needed the money.

The drive was empty when he pulled into his dad's place. His place. Valentina still came once a week to keep it clean but Ed didn't need the kind of round the clock care his father had. He parked and locked the car and made his way inside. Locks were fine but if he was going to move his equipment here he'd probably install an alarm system. He'd seen one advertised in a magazine last week that used satellite technology to link the alarm system to a wristwatch so the owner would be alerted if the alarm triggered. Very high tech. He decided to check the manufacturer's website later. First he had more important things on his mind. He went down to the gym and flicked its lights on. His dad hadn't used it much in his later years but Ed had used it before. Among other equipment there was a punchbag leaning against one corner. Ed lifted it up and hung it on its hook. He took off his jacket, slinging it to one side then let loose a punch at the bag. Something was missing. He needed some focus. It was too quiet. He headed up to his dad's room and looked around for a laptop. It was on the desk near his dad's bed. It wasn't exactly top of the range but it would suit his needs. He took it back down to the gym and switched it on, opening a web browser and navigating to his online storage folder. He kept a few things on there, including a few albums for ease of access. He scrolled through 'til he found something that suited his mood, Drowning Pool's album "Sinner". He set the album playing on shuffle and moved back to face the punchbag. He felt the guitars kick in, let their distorted wailing and churning fire through his body, felt the high notes scream up and down his spine and listened to the singer's voice, full of anger, resentment and animosity. He pulled back a fist and slammed it into the bag again. Better. He shifted position and let a volley of punches leave him, feeling the impact of his knuckles slamming into the bag as it fought against him.

Ed was worn out by the time the fourth song ended. His arms and hands ached from the exertion and impact and sweat coated his upper torso, drenching his t shirt. It covered his brow too, his hair clinging to it. He brushed it from his eyes with his forearm as the band's singer mournfully lamented the folly of narcissism.
"Do I really want this
Sometimes I scare myself I just can't let it go
Can you believe it
Everything happens for reasons I just don't know
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone
I don't care about anyone else but me
I don't care about anyone or anything but me "
That final chorus haunted Ed and he closed the media player and switched the laptop off. He sighed deeply. It wasn't just about his own feelings, he saw that now. He had to see the bigger picture. Whoever let Beauclair survive the cull was no different than Ed choosing to let Grace live. Beauclair hadn't interfered with the status quo any more than she had. The Mother would have been dug up eventually one way or another, with or without Beauclair. At least this way they had the advantage of his expertise and knowledge. And people, although they didn't know it, were relying on him to save them. He wasn't responsible for letting Beauclair live, but he knew now he was responsible for making sure The Mother died.

(Lyrics from Tear Away by Drowning Pool, copyright of respective owners.)

Bitemarks 2.3

2010-01-12T14:38:00.005Z

Today's dental appointment was cancelled so I have spare time! :O

Bitemarks 2.3

Skarletta stood near the shelf, book in hand. She was only skimming its contents, not through lack of ability. Reading had come pretty quick to her and the book was not entirely uninteresting, being as it was a beginner's guide to internet usage. But as she scanned its pages she was keeping a watchful eye on the computer terminals and the people using them. She watched their movements noting the simplicity of the devices used. One flat array of alphanumeric characters for input, one moveable device that controlled an on screen equivalent allowing direct interaction. It was fascinating. So complex to design, build and even comprehend its inner workings, yet so laughably simple to manipulate. At that moment one elderly man left his terminal and Skarletta sidled over and sank into the chair. From what she'd read so far the internet was really one huge book. Using a 'browser' as an index page she could search the book's pages for information relevant to her. Simple. She had the beginner's guide open beside her and looked at the screen for the symbol that would open the index. She gripped the device to her right that the book named as a mouse and moved it, watching the on screen cursor follow her movements. She smiled to herself and clicked upon the circular symbol she recognised from the book. The screen changed showing a brightly coloured logo reading "Google". What was a Google? She flicked through a couple of pages in her book. Ah this was the index. All she had to do was enter the words that interested her and be presented with the information. She pondered where to start. There was so much that was new about this world. She should probably begin by catching up on all the events that had happened since her supposed death. She typed in "history" and clicked and began reading.

Reading was something Skarletta had no trouble with and the more she read the faster she was able to process the information. Before she knew it she had absorbed most of the major historical events. There was a lot of irrelevant information that she skipped and she soon found herself diverted to other pages as a topic took her interest. There were periods of science, where the Dherroine had discovered that their planet was round. For some reason, she already knew that. Periods of culture where man had painted and sculpted and written great works of fact and fiction. And periods of war. Much war. That did not surprise her at all and yet this too seemed important to her somehow. What was this significant piece of information that still lay buried in the back of her mind as she had lain buried in the snow? She read more. She read about man's fear of biological disaster. She read about man's discovery of electricity and how they harnessed its power the whole world over. She read about how high speed fibre optic cables could carry impulses around the world. This too seemed familiar. She read about cancer, about pokémon, about spam, about modern political figures, about C++, about Youtube, about the hole in the ozone layer, about WW2, about the telephone. And then something happened. She read about videogames and for the first time paid attention to a box to the side of the screen flashing. She'd noticed them on nearly every page, all irrelevant, many offering prizes for clicking but this one was different. It showed a woman, looking not unlike herself, in a state of semi-undress. Skarletta clicked and received an error message. Curiosity gripped her. She returned to the index, the Google, and searched the error message. Something was denying her access and soon she found details on how to bypass it. It was complicated but she was growing more adept by the second. An hour later she had managed to bypass the security filter the library tech staff had put in place and had returned to the picture of the woman. She clicked and the page immediately changed. The background was bright red and offered up more images. Images of women completely unclothed, many of them adopting a pose that suggested only one thing and that thing now made sense to her mind. This was the second hunger. She clicked through more links, stumbling across a site offering moving images, pre-recorded videos of the Dherroine procreating. This was what distracted her mind. She knew now that until this was out of her system she would never recover the important information. The second hunger was the desire to mate. But not with a Dherroine. With one of her own kind. And for that she would need to spawn.
"Excuse me miss."
The voice came from her left and Skarletta turned to see a bespectacled young man standing awkwardly. A badge on the front of his ill fitting shirt named him "David". Skarletta analysed his posture, his look, his nervous voice. She had seen a word for this type of physically weak Dherroine. Nerd.
"Yes?" she inquired.
"You can't look at that here." he motioned toward the screen, "These computers are for public use. You'll have to..."
She interrupted him with a raised index finger and sniffed the air.
"You live alone?"
"I'm sorry? I don't see..."
Skarletta thrust the Thrall upon him. For a moment he struggled, mentally trying to resist her but she glared at him, staring deep into his pupils and forcing her superior mental prowess upon him, piercing his defences and dominating his mind. She reached over to the mouse and closed the offending page.
"Lead me." she commanded.

Bitemarks 2.2

2010-01-07T18:50:00.002Z

Seriously, the lack of time I have at the moment is ridiculi!

Bitemarks 2.2

Ed fumed silently in the car as one of the bureau's drivers took him back to headquarters. He waited impatiently for Alf to show up in the briefing room. When he did Ed stared angrily at him. Alf sighed.
"Ed, there's no point being mad at me. It's not like this is my decision. Just like it's not my decision about who gets full disclosure."
"That doesn't make it right."
"Well right or wrong there's not much we can do about it. Beauclair is alive. He plays by our rules and there's an agreement in place. Speaking of which..."
"Yeah well, you might want to know that letting Beauclair live was one hell of a bad decision."
Ed put his feet up on the desk and lit up a cigarette.
"I don't even know where to begin. The vampires. You know they call themselves the Karal?"
"I did."
"Well Beauclair's been doing his history. He has a vault full of old relics. Artefacts, books, ornamental stuff. Probably been collecting it for ages. He says he's been having teams dig it up around the world. That's why he had Keibler's team up north."
"Digging for artefacts?"
"One artefact. He calls it the Mother. It was supposed to be the remains of the very first vampire."
"The remains..." Alf looked decidedly worried.
"Yeah. Only I've never seen remains kill ten people and drink their blood."
"So you're saying..."
Ed interrupted before he could finish.
"Yes. I'm saying that because WE let a vampire survive the cull he's managed to locate the body of the very first vampire, dig it up and let it loose on the world. Now I don't know much about complex bloodlines Alf but I had to hunt down Grace and let me tell you, the mother of all werewolves was a lot stronger than a regular werewolf and I get the feeling we won't be taking down the Mother with a fancy sniper rifle shooting tranqs. In fact, now that it crosses my mind, how do we kill a vampire? Garlic, stake through the heart? Lure her into sunlight?"
Alf shook his head.
"I have no idea. We'll have to research. There'll be records."
"From the cull?"
"No. The cull was en masse. It had to be a surefire method. Nearly all of the vampires were killed by beheading, in their sleep. It was the only way to be sure."
"What a resounding success."
"Well I'll get everyone right on it. I know we can discount a few myths straight off. Sunlight won't do a damn thing. Garlic neither. Vampires of old were resistant to being shot. Arrows, muskets, rifles. The problem with projectiles it that they go straight through, or at least can be pulled out. As long as the vampire can feed the wound just heals itself over."
"Instantly?"
"For most small wounds yes. Larger ones can take longer. And they can't just regrow limbs. There are limits. I'll try to find out what those limits are. In the mean time..."
"In the meantime I need to get some sleep, something to eat and try and wind down."
"By all means. I'll have all traffic monitored for anything sounding even remotely vampire related. If anything comes up before tomorrow I'll send Katia to check it out. Anything that crops up after then is all yours. I'll also get hold of Beauclair again, see what useful information he can provide."
Ed stubbed out his cigarette and stood up, making for the door.
"Oh and Ed."
Ed paused.
"What's done is done. We have work to do. I don't want anger getting in the way of that. Go home, relax. I have a feeling I'll be needing you at your best."

Puck Foetry

2009-12-28T13:11:00.002Z

Puck Foetry

We used to live in a world where children were seen but not heard
Now they're a chaos-driven rabble, a bloodthirsty herd
Stabbing other children and grown ups alike
'Father of five killed by knife-wielding tyke'
At night roaming streets using hoodies to hide
Whilst wearing gang colours with such misplaced pride
Lives that are hollow and driven by greed
Unable to write 'cos they can't fucking read
Communicating with each other by electronic slang
Texting their mate by their side in the park where they hang
While we try our best to save their tomorrow
They practice their skills, to beg, steal or borrow
Money for the things they're unable to nick
Six cans of cider, they'll drink 'til they're sick
Oblivious parents so quick to protect
Their foul mouthed young spawn without a shred of respect
Biting at the teat the moment it's sucked
If children are our future, we're totally fucked

© Charon 2009