Abandoned Bitesize Ideas.

Whilst brainstorming for Bitesize ideas I've tossed many aside. In the absence of anything better to post I thought I'd share a few of the abandoned ones.

1. A story told from two perspectives, that of a serial killer and the cop chasing him. Ultimately would turn out the the cop is suffering from a schizophrenic disease and is unaware that he is the killer and is chasing himself. Would be far too much work though.

2. A story that starts, "The year is 2239 and Jonas Wilstrong is President. I remember exactly where I was when the previous president was assassinated. Atop a skyscraper, clutching a sniper rifle and watching him being driven through the streets of Newtopia. But much to my dismay, it wasn't me that fired the fatal shot..."
But I didn't know what to do with it so I abandoned it.

3. A guy wakes up to find the world abandoned. No people at all. Worse, he sees a ghostly figure that appears to be his mother telling him that he's in a coma and needs to wake up. Then he finds a girl. She too claims to have seen her mother saying she's in a coma and needs to wake up. They can't both be right. Is one of them imagining the other? This is compounded further when they meet another man, a soldier. Seems his CO told him exactly the same thing. Only thing is, he's seen something else. Some unidentified beings. What's going on? What and who is real?
I don't know. Abandoned.

Great films?

A few days ago, The Independent had a thing on the main page announcing that some journalist had compiled a list of the twenty greatest films ever made. Wow, I thought sarcastically, that's gonna be one biased list. Who died and gave that guy the power to decide for all of us what makes a film great? it's probably full of artsy fartsy shit that no one's seen just to make him look like some hardcore film aficionado.
But then I got thinking. In my own biased opinion, what are the twenty greatest films I've seen? Making a list like that is harder than you'd think. Like sure, I absolutely love the film Bloodsport, but I'm acutely aware that it's not a great film. It's not even a good film. It would probably bore the pants off most of you if you watched it. Likewise I'll watch Demolition Man every time it's on TV, nut only because I can't take my eyes off Sandra Bullock. In fact... I'll watch anything with Sandra Bullock in. :P

But in all seriousness. What are the twenty greatest films I've ever seen? Films so good I would heartily recommend them under the impression that you too would like them. So I made my list. I couldn't rank them in any specific order because they all have merits and are good for different reasons. So here, if you are interested or just bored, is my list, in the order the films occurred to me. I'll throw in some brief sentences about the film but nothing too detailed. Wouldn't wanna spoil anything. :P Feel free to have a shot at this yourself sometime. ;)

1. Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Well this was pretty much obvious wasn't it? One of the most quotable films of all time. Low-budget, silly fun. In fact, the Python crew borrowed money from various celebrity friends in order to get this made and as you probably know, unable to afford horses they instead used the iconic coconuts to replicate the sound of horse hooves. :)

2. Tremors.
Oh yeah it's cheesy as hell. But there's something so endearing about Kevin Bacon's rural cowboy character. If you haven't seen it it's about a really small town in a remote rocky desert that gets besieged by giant subterranean worms. Fun. ^^

3. Aliens.
Proof that a sequel really can be better than the original. Some might claim that the original had better atmosphere but this second outing is what really floats my boat as Ripley and a squad of marines head to a remote mining facility that "the Company" have lost contact with, ultimately taking on an entire hive of the alien creatures. It's a wonderful advancement of the original storyline.

4. South Park: The Movie.
From start to finish an epicly funny film. It's offensive and it mocks Canada. What more could you ask for? :P It's hard to go back to watching the actual show after this.

5. Team America: World Police.
A film featuring puppets? :D Oh yeah. Sorry... FUCK YEAH! :) Best theme tune ever. If you still haven't seen this then you're missing out. It sums up perfectly the sense of collective bravado and smug centre-of-the-worldedness that we associate with those darned Americans. And the puppetteering is top notch too.

6. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Another sequel outshining the original. Ahnold is back, this time reprogrammed to protect John Connor himself from an assassination by the new liquid metal T1000. And how badass has Sarah Connor become since the first film? Bloody awesome.

7. Pulp Fiction.
This shouldn't even need any blurb. If you haven't seen Pulp Fiction, you're missing out. Surely this is on anyone's list?

8. Die Hard.
A Christmas classic. John McClane (Bruce Willis) finds himself inside Nakatomi Plaza when it's overrun by terrorists led by Alan Rickman.

9. Cube.
Ah the original Cube. A bunch of people wake up trapped inside a cube with no memory of how they got there. The cube is filled with traps and has mysterious numbers etched into doorways. Can the autistic savant in with them figure this all out? Or is he only there to slow them all down, relying on their human emotions to cause them to lead themselves into the many deadly traps? Badass.

10. Disney's Robin Hood.
Best Disney film ever. Each Robin Hood character portrayed by a different animal. Hood himself is a sly fox and Maid Marian a vixen. He's such a charismatic little rogue. Fun for all the family.

11. Stand By Me.
A bunch of kids go on an adventure, travelling along the railway tracks to find a dead body seen by Vern. Don't you wish you had that kinda fun as a kid?

12. Cyrano De Bergerac.
Oh it's long, almost as long as the titular character's nose. :) Gerard Depardieu is awesome as Cyrano, the warrior poet. The famous balcony scene has been done so many times over. It's in French though, so settle down for a lot of subtitles.

13. Labyrinth.
Yeah it's another classic kiddy film. David Bowie as the evil goblin King Jareth. Rumour has it that they originally wanted Jacko to play that role. Pffft. Bowie was the right decision. He's brilliant and so are the songs.

14. Ace Ventura 2: When Nature Calls.
First time I watched this I was laughing by Ace's very first line and didn't stop until the end. It's hilarious and massively quotable and yet one more example of sequels being better than originals! Definitely Jim Carrey's funniest outing.

15. Scream.
It's not all about comedy you know. :P The killer's outfit is genius, so instantly recognisable. The plot might be fairly simple but it was still quite a surprising ending first time round.

16. Enter the Dragon.
So Bloodsport might be a crappy martial arts flick but this sure isn't. Bruce Lee is the daddy as he infiltrates the secret island base of the bad guy, kicking endless amounts of ass on the way, all the while dispensing questionable wisdom. It might be plot light, but the action is heavy and wonderfully performed.

17. Shrek.
One word. Donkey. :D Pant-wettingly funny one liners from Eddie Murphy. Our entire family watched this multiple times and spent months quoting it. The sequels just can't touch the original here.

18. Zoolander.
A film about male modelling. Derek Zoolander is the dim-witted model brainwashed to kill the prime minister of Malaysia. Comic genius.

19. The Goonies.
Oh c'mon. You've all seen the Goonies right? Like 9000 times?

20. Happy Gilmore.
A lot of comedy in this list. This is definitely the funniest of Adam Sandler's catalogue as hapless ice hockey wannabe Gilmore turns his hand to golf instead in a bid to pay off his grandma's debts.

There you go. Those are the twenty greatest films I've ever had the pleasure of watching. If there's any on that list you haven't seen then I recommend you get your hands on them now.

Thoughts, comments, lists of your own? *points to comment box*

Brown, Foxes and L-Izzards

So yesterday I'm walking home from work. Only 22:10, so not that late at night but dark already. As I'm walking down the big hill towards the street I live on I see what looks like a dog up ahead. Then as I get closer I realise from the pointy nose and bushy tail that it's actually an urban fox! Cool. I've only ever seen a fox once before. So this fox is in my path and I'm walking towards it and I notice it's paying me no attention. It's looking at something. So I turn and follow its gaze and there's another fox! Right across the street. These two foxes are looking at one another, almost like they're communicating. And I'm still walking towards the first one. I didn't want to get too close because I have no idea if foxes bite or not so I kinda gave it a little space. It noticed me coming eventually and gave me a glance but then I was past it and walking on. :) Nice. Just thought I'd share that with you.

I'd also like to give a big 'Well Done!' to Eddie Izzard who recently completed 46 marathons in 51 consecutive days to raise a whopping £200'000 for charity. I know he's downplaying the enormity of what he's achieved (such modesty sir) but we are all very impressed and extremely proud of you. ^^ Not many people can claim to be a top notch, tri-lingual stand up comedian, part-time action transvestite and epic marathon runner! :)

And finally, another well done to Dan Brown for pissing off literary critics around the globe by writing another successful novel. :D Way to strike a blow for the so-called 'mundane' writer. It's amusing seeing the critics pan his 'bland style of prose' and his 'empty characters' only to begrudgingly point out his global success and fantastic storytelling ability. As I've always said, it's not always important to waste pages and pages describing trees when you can weave an incredible and gripping yarn! Plot is the core of writing and whilst I can appreciate that most writers put in a lot of effort on their descriptive prose I still don't see it as a necessity. The DaVinci Code got people reading who would otherwise shun books and that can only be a good thing. His work is accessible and he should be congratulated on getting people into a reading frenzy. Congratulations. :) Sit back and let the millions roll in.

Sooo Bitesize...

So I've been thinking hard. This after all is my job. I've thought over various ideas for the next Bitesize. One in particular I find quite interesting. I guess it would be classed as historical fiction though with the emphasis on fiction rather than historical accuracy. Basically I was pondering a Bitesize project set in Tenochtitlan during the reign of Moctezuma II, although for aesthetics I'd prolly call him Montezuma. I'm no expert on the Aztecs, but I know a little and am doing some reading on the subject too. I think I could set an interesting story that covers the period just before and during the conquest by the Spanish.

But of course, the important thing about the next Bitesize is that it's something people want to read. So what do you think? Would you be interested in a Bitesize that features the Aztecs? Would it matter that I'll be making large chunks of it up? Know of any good articles about Aztec culture? :)

:o Wow.

So my bro just randomly found a google easter egg. Go to www.google.com and type in "Find Chuck Norris" and then hit I'm Feeling Lucky. :)

Classic.

While we're on there, I'll pass on an old one you've probably seen before. Type "French Military Victories" and hit I feel lucky.

An Ode to Wilbur

Been playing Sacred. Today my faithful, if somewhat pathetic, henchman Wilbur died. :( He might have been the lamest minion ever, but I was growing kinda fond of him!

An Ode To Wilbur

Oh brave Wilbur, you fought by my side so well
I cannot count on my hands the many times that you fell
And I battled the hordes to keep them at bay
So you could heal and live to fight another day
It was Prince Valor himself who first sent me north
To rescue your ass from the Chief of the Orcs
But that was only the start of our adventure together
As my liege, the Prince, handed me a letter
To be delivered post-haste to Baron DeMordrey
In his stronghold, Rock Castle, a great distance away
And though I'm a Seraph, my heritage angelic
Prince Valor sent you too, my long suffering sidekick
Maybe he thought you could prove our noble intent
In case DeMordrey refused to lend us his strength
Our travel would take us, far 'cross the land
But our journey began there in the hot, desert sand
Oh Wilbur you really were badly equipped
I couldn't believe that the sand orcs pwned you so quick
While you lay on the floor I carried on winning
And this as you know was only the beginning

From there we pressed on and quest after quest
You fell to the ground with a sword through your chest
And each time by God's grace, you were soon revived
And I pushed ever onwards with you by my side
Oh how we laughed, in the evil thieves' den
When I fought off twelve enemies and you died again
And we chuckled with mirth when the wolves ate your feet
Or when the mages fried you with lightning 'til you succumbed to defeat
Lol Wilbur, remember, that bloody great dragon?
And you ran in with your dagger, frantically stabbing?
And he set you on fire, your hair and clothes burned
That was a valuable lesson on that day you learned
And I must admit, I found it funny
When I was in the merchant's selling items for money
I walked out into the street and laughed so hard I cried
'Cos somehow you had got yourself trapped inside
You couldn't get past the peasants milling about
It took me nearly ten minutes to finally get you out!

But we soldiered on Wilbur, I admired your persistence
And we made it to DeMordrey and asked his assistance
One unit of Sakura was all he offered to send
Why on earth did Prince Valor think him a friend?
And he wasn't done there, the conniving old creep
He sent us alone to the heights of Ice Creek
He gave us his ring, bearing his seal
So the unit of soldiers would know we're for real
I wish I'd seen it coming Wilbur, I really should have known
I wish I'd left you at the castle and gone up there alone
We battled up the mountain side, you fought the giants like a champ!
And soon we found the Sakura holed up in their camp
As I handed over the ring, I knew that something wasn't right
The Baron had laid a trap for us, the ring meant 'kill on sight'!
We stood our ground in the mountain camp, back to back we fought together
But fate was your foe on that frostbitten morn Wilbur, no one lives forever
Now the laughter turns to tears as your corpse lies in the snow
Your death this time is permanent but I will avenge your soul
But I must warn Prince Valor that DeMordrey's turned against the throne
We travelled here together Wilbur but to Wyvern's Pass I ride alone
But I'll not forget you Wilbur, I'll be sure your name lives on
I'll have the Royal Bard immortalize you in a song

© Charon 2009

Motherfucker!

Attention grabbing title or what? But relevant. Because I have something amusing to show you, but it does feature language like the above and thus it cleverly acts as a warning... kinda.
:P

For this to make sense, it's important you're already aware of the existence of the comedy spoof rap song "On a Boat". I know most of you will be... but I'm guessing K is still stuck in 1983 somewhere so I'll post that first to bring you up to speed. :)



In case that was your first watching... That's "The Lonely Island". They've being doing some pretty funny comedy songs but now they in turn have been parodied.

Rewind to some time ago when I showed you snippets from "Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series". A comedy parody in itself where some smart Alec had taken various key scenes from the anime YuGiOh and revoiced them to comic effect.
And now we have those parody characters... parodying the On a Boat parody.
:o


I know most of you are lazy and probably never watched the Abridged series... but if you did, hopefully that was well funny. ^^

Bitesize 5.8

Bitesize 5.8

Epilogue

Ed grabbed his mobile phone off the desk and answered it. It was Katia's voice on the other end.
"We made the news, flick the TV on."
He picked up the remote and zapped the TV into life...

"And for more on that story we go live to our Asian correspondent Ken Takanawa."

A young Japanese man was on screen, holding a microphone. Despite his Oriental heritage he was clearly English-born and spoke with the standard newscaster accent.

"It's been three days since the peace of Hakodate was broken by a minor earthquake. Normally this is of little importance in the day to day life of the Japanese but this one has had local scientists baffled. The epicentre seemed to be located just under Mount Hakodate and so far no explanations are forthcoming as to why. On top of that, police are now looking for a man they believe may know something about the quake. The unidentified Caucasian male was found on the mountainside shortly after the quake. He was badly injured and missing his left arm. He was rushed to hospital for emergency treatment. Police crews searched the mountainside for his missing arm but found nothing. The man's condition was upgraded to stable and recovering the following day but he remained unconscious. Police were hoping to question him about his accident and what he knows of the quake but as of this morning the man is missing. The hospital reports that he is still injured and may be seeking medical treatment for his injuries elsewhere. Police have issued this footage of the man in the hope that he can be found."

The picture that came up on screen was unmistakable. Raddick. Ed flicked the TV off.
"Well at least now we know why the tracker couldn't find him. You think he did that on purpose?"
"I have no idea." said Katia, "But I'll bet we haven't seen the last of him."


----------------------------------------------------------------

Fin

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:) Well folks. That's the end of our current Bitesize Project. I hope you all enjoyed it. It was a lot of fun. For now I need a break from it so I can get back to some regular blogging, hopefully some poetry and a few real life things that require my attention. All in all it was a good learning experience. I underestimated how much of my time it would require so when we launch anew I'll probably aim closer to 2 or 3 bites per week. Which begs the question...

What do you want from the next Bitesize?
More of Ed?
Or something different?

Feel free to throw up suggestions and ideas. I'm open to pretty much anything. Also feel free to discuss anything about the project that you liked / didn't like, any questions you feel have been left unanswered and so on.

Bitesize 5.7

Bitesize 5.7

Ed struggled at his bonds but the ropes held tight. He was helpless to do anything but watch as the destructive scene continued to play out in front of him. Max was still reeling from Crowley's eldritch blast while the mirror bulged and spewed out its silver droplets. Crowley still clutched at his throat. The old mage looked pale and weakened and his hand and cloak were dark and shiny with blood. Ed thought he saw fear in the old man's eyes but if he did, it was soon replaced by realisation and determination. In desperation Crowley leapt into the air. Not jumped, but literally leapt. Seemingly defying the laws of physics Crowley flew at speed toward the mirror and plunged into its liquid surface, disappearing into the lake of silver. The surface bulged once more, like a mirrored bubble and then exploded. Shards of glass flew outwards, some missing Ed by inches and a vast gaping portal remained within the mirror's frame. The portal spun and collapsed in on itself becoming a swirling, sucking vortex. Ed felt it pull at him but only gently. Its effect however was far more pronounced on Max and Leclair. Leclair was seemingly immobilised, rooted to the spot but he looked strange. Ed realised that the onigawa must be being sucked from him. it was the only thing that could explain what he was seeing as one smaller form, smoky and insubtsantial was tugged from his body. Max too was suffering the same fate. Although in wolf form, a definite humanoid shape was unmerging with him, being pulled toward the vortex. The ghostly humanoid shapes screamed and struggled, trying to fight the invisible force pulling them ever further into their eternal prison but the struggle was futile and soon they passed the frame and were gone. As they disappeared from view the mirror's frame broke apart, falling to the ground in chunks. The candles all went out and with Crowley gone and the vortex vanished the chamber was plunged into darkness. The trembling of the mountain subsided and Ed lay in the darkness. He couldn't see and the only sounds he heard were of Katia still struggling against her ropes. Ed was scared once again. Grace was unconscious and Max was not. He had no way of knowing whether Max was conscious inside his wolf body. If not, they were now at the mercy of the animal. Ed tugged at his bonds again, frantically trying to tug a hand free. Somewhere in the darkness he could hear the wolf's heavy breathing and the clack clack of its claws on the stone floor. It was approaching him. He braced himself and then felt its foot kick him roughly, rolling him over to face the other way. Claws raked his back, though only lightly and he felt the ropes binding his wrists fall away. The ropes around his legs followed suit. Freed, Ed quickly rolled to one side, scrabbling on the floor with his hands, trying to find the led torch he'd dropped as Crowley had him bound. His fingers scraped the earth, finding bits of rope and small rocks and then, the cold touch of something metal. It was his keychain and the torch attached. He brought it up in front of him and pressed the button. A beam of light lit up his immediate surroundings. There in front of him was the wolf, its slavering jaws and wild eyes watching him. He aimed the beam down slightly. Its chest was unscathed.
"Grace?" Ed whispered. He didn't know why he whispered but the wolf showed some recognition. It didn't attack and Ed could only assume. He flashed the beam about and found Katia. The wolf slashed its arm towards her and severed the ropes on her wrists as Ed tugged at the ones on her legs. Soon she too was freed. Ed flashed the torch around again. He found Fredericq's body and soon, that of Max. He was human again, his chest still badly scorched and bleeding slightly. He was unconscious and Ed shook him and slapped his face. Max came round groggily and Ed went looking with the torch again. Some distance away was Leclair. The big man too was unconscious and Ed repeated the shaking and slapping until he awoke. Leclair seemed confused, his eyes darting around.
"What's going on?"
"I'll explain later." said Ed, "Can you stand?"
Leclair struggled to his feet.
"Everyone ok to walk?" Ed asked. Max and Katia both responded with a yes.
"Ok, let's get the hell out of here."
Ed led the way with the torch and the others followed behind him. He followed the trail they'd left on their way in, back toward the surface. All the way he couldn't help but wonder what fate had befallen Crowley. Was he now trapped in the mirrors with the rest of the onigawa? Would he be able to make his way out again? Or with the mirror destroyed were they now safe? There were many questions and for now Ed was just glad they'd made it out alive. Their plan had worked eventually and Max had come up trumps.
A short time later they emerged into the twilight as night began to fall over Mount Hakodate. Grace shifted back into her human form and Ed took the time to look over his party. He and Katia were fine. Grace had a black eye but was otherwise fine. Leclair too seemed ok. Max was the worst injured of the lot but even his wound was mostly superficial. The bleeding on his chest had slowed though the burns were causing him pain.
"Is he gone?" Max asked.
Ed nodded.
"For now at least. You did well Max."
"At least I managed to redeem myself for my past mistakes." he smiled.
"And Crowley?" asked Grace.
"He fled." said Ed, "Into the mirror. He must be trapped there now with the rest of them."
"That thing that was in me." said Leclair, "It's gone... I've spent decades trapped inside my own body while that thing ran wild..."
"And Raddick?" asked Katia. "I didn't see him near the end."
"Raddick!" said Ed, "Shit, I didn't see him either. I forgot all about him. You think he's still in there?"
"He isn't." said Grace, "He was definitely gone when I came to and freed you two."
"But he doesn't have an onigawa anymore... how could he escape?" said Ed.
"Maybe he went into the mirror as well." suggested Katia.
Ed pondered this.
"I don't think so. I could see the mirror the whole time."
"Maybe he fled the mountain before his onigawa was pulled out." said Grace.
"Maybe." said Ed. "Somehow, I get the feeling we haven't seen the last of Raddick."

Bitesize 5.6

I wish I was the boss, so I could just take two weeks off without any notice whenever I felt like it. :(

Bitesize 5.6

Ed felt so helpless and looking at Katia, he knew she felt the same. Max too it seemed was fully under Crowley's spell and Ed realised that the only plan they had left lied in the hope that opening the mirrors would separate Max from the demon Crowley was awakening. The awakening didn't take long, only a few minutes. Here and there sparks and wisps of coloured energy left Crowley's hands but other than that the ritual was fairly unspectacular. When it was all over the change in Max was evident. He stood differently and his eyes shifted about in his skull restlessly and when he opened his mouth to speak his voice was deep and lispy.
"It is done." said Max, "He resists but he will not win."
Crowley merely nodded and set about righting the candles that had been knocked over by Grace and Leclair.
"The sacrifice?" Max asked.
Crowley pointed at the chained Fredericq and Max wandered over to him, inspecting him like an animal.
"This is all you brought through so far?" asked Max, "A seer and a common foot soldier?" The latter comment was clearly aimed at Leclair.
"It matters not." said Crowley, "He will suffice as a sacrifice and Leclair has served me well. Do not question me Gatekeeper. I brought you through too. You should be grateful of that."
"Then let us do this quickly. Bless the weapon."
Crowley relit the final candle and then pulled an ornamental dagger from his cloak. The blade was wavy and the handle in the shape of a skull. He held it aloft and reeled off more of the alien syllables. As he did, Max inspected the mirror. Only now did Ed take a good look at it. He had already noted its size and now he cast his eyes over its frame. It was golden and shiny in places though years of laying hidden had tarnished the majority of it. Here and there, demonic faces loomed out from the frame, their mouths in a perpetual silent scream as though struggling to resist their entrapment. Crowley finished whatever spell he had been casting and handed the now glowing dagger to Max. He held it in his hands, turning it over to inspect the blade and the soft red light emanating from it. Seemingly satisfied he stepped over to Fredericq and dragged him into a sitting position in front of the mirror. The two men, though human to Ed's eye, had demonic reflections when viewed in the mirror, their onigawa laid bare for all to see. It was Max now who began the chanting in the same incomprehensible language Crowley had used. As each syllable left his lips they appeared hanging in the air in the reflection, strange markings that to Ed's eye looked not dissimilar to Japanese. Max's voice became louder and firmer as the chant continued until, at the climax of the ritual he was shouting the words at the top of his lungs. As the final word of power left his lips Max placed the dagger at Fredericq's throat and slashed it in one fluid motion. Blood spurted from the wound like a geyser, splattering the mirror's surface and where it landed it hissed and bubbled violently. The entire mountain began to tremble and the mirror's surface began to take on the insubstantial sheen Ed had seen before. Max shoved Fredericq's lifeless corpse aside and spread his arms wide. Crowley had come to stand beside him as the Gatekeeper belted out the final verse of the ritual. Ed braced himself. For what, he didn't know, but the sense of foreboding was overwhelming. Something big was about to happen.
Suddenly, Crowley shoved Max hard to one side.
"That's not right!" he yelled, "What are you doing?"
Max regained his balance and dove at Crowley. He swung the sacrificial dagger wildly, catching the mage's unprotected throat. Crowley managed to raise a hand and a blast of energy sent Max flying ten feet across the chamber. He landed heavy and didn't move. Clutching at his throat Crowley struggled to regain his stance as the mountain trembled. Blood trickled through his fingers as he grimaced. He moved to position himself in front of the mirror. He now began chanting, trying to undo what Max had done. Ed looked at Crowley, his stance defiant as he yelled word after word. He looked back over at Max but he was no longer on the floor. He was stood on his feet and no longer in human form. The blow to the head had knocked Max out and now the wolf supplanted within him by Grace had awoken. The lupine flung himself at Crowley again, snarling as his claws tore through the mage's robes at chest level. Crowley blasted him again as he fell, leaving a burning scorch mark on the wolf's chest. The mirror rose up from the floor, levitating under its own power. One ritual had been successful. Right now the time for alterations had passed. The mirror's surface bulged and spewed forth drops of liquid silver...

Bitesize 5.5

Bitesize 5.5

The smile on Crowley's face was evident.
"Well well. The thorns in my side, revealed at last." he crowed as Ed felt himself pulled ever closer.
"And who's this behind you now? The Gatekeeper? Excellent."
Ed didn't need to see behind him to know that Max too was now dutifully walking towards Crowley. Then he heard a noise. The scuff of claws on stone. He couldn't move his gaze away from Crowley but he knew it had to be Grace.
"Leclair!" Crowley's command was forceful, factual, no fear in his voice.
Grace entered Ed's peripheral vision in a blur. She barrelled into Crowley but the old mage seemingly had plenty of tricks up his sleeve. Just like Raddick he became insubstantial and Grace passed clean through him. Her momentum kept her going straight into the clutches of Leclair. Ed hadn't gotten a good look at him before but now, compared to Grace, he could see just how big the Frenchman was. He'd look abnormal next to a bodybuilder. He reminded Ed of the wrestler Andre the Giant in stature, at if not over seven feet tall but with the muscles of a young Schwarzenegger. Grace's bulk slamming into him did little to faze him. He took just a step back as Grace regained her footing. He reached out a hand to grab Grace's neck, her jaws snapping shut just millimetres from his face. Ed could see the muscles in his arm tighten as he squeezed but Grace was no human. In her wolf form she was the T-alpha. A primal animal that had survived countless dangers over the centuries. She lashed out with a hind leg, scoring a deep clawmark along Leclair's stomach and planting the foot against him to push herself backward as his grip weakened. Leclair clutched his stomach with his left hand and pulled back his right. His punch connected with Grace's skull, sending her reeling backwards. Her foot slipped and she tumbled to the floor.
"Enough of that." said Crowley, and Ed felt his gaze pulled away from the fight. His eyes connected with Crowley's pupils and locked themselves in place.
"Gatekeeper." said Crowley, talking past Ed to Maximilian.
"Yes?" Max sounded calm.
"There is rope over there. Bind the woman."
Minutes passed and all Ed could see was Crowley's ink black pupils swirling in front of his vision. Sounds reached his ears. Sounds of Katia struggling as Max tied her hands and feet. Sounds of Grace and Leclair, growls and grunts, as they fought one another. None of this seemed to bother Crowley.
"And now him."
Ed felt his wrists grabbed and pulled behind his back. Rope was wound around them, pulling them tightly together. The rope was coarse and tight and made his hands feel numb. Max moved on and bound his feet together too. When he was done, the German came to stand by his master's side. Despite the distance, Ed felt Crowley push him, not with his hands, but with his mind. He toppled backward, unable to prevent himself falling and landed heavily on the floor. The weight of his falling body landed on his tied wrists and he felt a sharp pain shoot up his arms. The eye contact with Crowley was broken and writhed, trying to push himself into a position where he could observe. He wriggled onto his side and shifted his legs and neck until he could see the scene.

Katia was bound in a similar fashion to himself. She glared angrily at her captor but he paid her no attention. Max was knelt before Crowley, the old man's hands on his head, thumbs placed at his temples. Crowley was chanting something, strange syllables like nothing Ed had ever heard before. Not just another language, completely alien sounds. Ed doubted he could replicate such noises with his mouth if he wanted to. Behind them all, Fredericq knelt, still manacled as Grace and Leclair fought on.
The Frenchman had the upper hand now. Grace looked decidedly groggy as the brute landed another punch to her skull. He followed through like a boxer, with a swift uppercut that battered her jaws together and lifted her clean off her feet. As she hit the floor Leclair jumped at her, pinning her elbows down with his knees and holding her head in his hands. Grace struggled, kicking out her hind legs but she couldn't dislodge the titan. Leclair released her, just long enough to smash his fist into her head once more. Caught between the blow and the floor, Grace's head bounced accompanied by a sickening thud. All resistance left her as she passed out. Ed's heart sank. He'd hoped all along that if Grace could take down Leclair then they might have stood a chance. Now that chance faded along with her consciousness. All he could do now was watch as Crowley performed the ritual to awaken Max's onigawa...

Bitesize 5.4

Bitesize 5.4

Ed's supposition turned out to be right. The entrance to the cave network was only a short distance around the mountain. A huge boulder that once blocked the entrance had been heaved aside, tearing a furrow through the earth. They hadn't thought to bring a torch and the only illumination they had was a mini LED torch on Ed's keyring. The darkness was no problem for Grace and so the other three huddled close as they entered. The cave entrance turned into a tunnel just wide enough to walk two abreast. The tunnel twisted and turned before branching off into two more tunnels. Ed realised the tracking device was all but useless now but with these tunnels laying unused for so long Crowley's party had left a distinctive trail in the soft dirt allowing Ed to easily see that they'd taken the right hand path.
And so they followed the trail. The tunnels were numerous and often split off into chambers before branching out into multiple tunnels again. Ed wondered if the Onigawa had carved these tunnels themselves or whether they'd just improved upon an already existing phenomena. The tunnels were all wide and tall enough to walk through and mostly free from debris. One chamber had a pile of rubble presumably where Leclair had cleared a path through a blocked tunnel. In the gloom Ed completely lost track of whether their path was leading them upwards or downwards in relation to the mountain. If it weren't for the trail he knew he'd never find his way back out of here unaided. As they walked the silent anticipation grew and grew. Surely now it would not be long before the final confrontation...

It was Grace that first noticed something amiss. She tapped Ed on the back with a claw and he stopped walking. He turned round, shining the torch on the others.
"What is it?" he whispered.
Grace sniffed the air. For a few minutes they all stood in silence, listening. There was a sound. A voice for sure, but indistinct and muffled. It's presence spoke volumes. Whatever Crowley and his minions were up to they were only a short distance ahead. Ed kept the torch as close to him as possible, lighting up only the floor immediately in front of him. Slowly and cautiously they shuffled along the next tunnel. Ed had one hand running along the wall to help guide him. With each step the voices became louder. Ed crept along inch by inch but with a final turn the tunnel abruptly ended. His finger left the button of the torch instinctively but he wasn't plunged into darkness as he expected. Ahead was the biggest chamber they'd seen so far. At its centre, being manhandled onto a wooden frame by what could only be Leclair, was the mirror. It was enormous. Ed estimated at least twelve feet tall and around four feet wide. To one side of the mirror stood Raddick. in his hand was a length of chain attached to handcuffs worn by Jean Fredericq. But there was no time to Ed to ponder the unusualness of that. His eyes were instantly drawn to the cloaked figure spreading candles around the room in some pre-planned pattern. There was no doubt it was Crowley. The candles would have pushed back the gloom of the chamber somewhat but Ed knew that they weren't being placed there to illuminate. The pattern was deliberate, ritual. And the light that flooded the chamber was far brighter than the candles could produce. It seemed to be emanating directly from Crowley himself. Every muscle in Ed's body told him to dive back into the tunnel and seek cover but he knew in his head it was pointless. They'd come here to confront Crowley and that time was now. As if to confirm this Crowley's voice boomed out, echoed by the natural resonance of the cavern.
"I've been expecting you. Come now, don't be shy."
His head whipped round and his hands flicked the cowl from his head, revealing his face. He was exactly as Ed remembered him from the mirrors. Old, mostly bald except for sparse clumps of grey hair and with eyes that seemed to burn in their sockets. Eyes that Ed couldn't look away from. Eyes that even now, against every instinct he found himself staring into. Against his will Ed took a tentative step forward. Then another. In his peripheral vision he saw the others watching him. Raddick, Leclair, Fredericq. Not moving, just bearing witness. He couldn't shift his gaze from Crowley but even so he was vaguely aware of Katia, a short distance behind him. He could hear her footsteps as she too stepped out of the tunnel toward Crowley...